The Batman Movie Retrospective Series - Batman (1989)

Published in November 2014

 Before you ask, no, I’m not gonna review any of the animated films. Not because live action is inherently superior to animation, but because I’ve already reviewed ALL of DC’s animated films right here. You can read my thoughts on everything from Mask of the Phantasm to Assault on Arkham, as well as several other movie series. Now with that being said, let’s get into the movie.

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

The mayor of Gotham City orders District Attorney Harvey Dent (Billy Dee Williams) and Police Commissioner James Gordon (Pat Hingle) to increase police activity and combat crime in preparation for the city’s bicentennial. Reporter Alexander Knox (Robert Wuhl) and photojournalist Vicki Vale (Kim Basinger) begin to investigate reports of a vigilante nicknamed “Batman”, who is targeting the city’s criminals.

Mob boss Carl Grissom (Jack Palance), who has already been targeted by Dent, discovers his mistress (Jerry Hall) is involved with his second-in-command, Jack Napier (Jack Nicholson). With the help of corrupt policeman Max Eckhardt (William Hootkins), Grissom sets up Napier to be murdered during a raid at the Axis Chemicals plant. During the ensuing shootout, Napier kills Eckhardt, after which Batman suddenly appears. The two struggle, and Napier is accidentally knocked into a vat of chemical waste. Batman flees, and Napier is thought to be dead.

Batman is in actuality Bruce Wayne (Michael Keaton), a billionaire industrialist who, as a child, witnessed his parents’ murder at the hands of a mugger. Bruce meets and falls for Vicki at a fundraiser, and the two begin a relationship. Meanwhile, Napier survives the accident, but is horribly disfigured with chalk-white skin, emerald-green hair and a permanent ruby-red grin. Driven insane by his reflection, he reinvents himself as “the Joker”, kills Grissom and usurps his criminal empire.

The Joker begins to spread terror in the city, first by lacing hygiene products with a deadly chemical known as “Smilex”, which causes victims to laugh to death when used in certain combinations. The Joker then sets a trap at the Gotham Museum of Art for Vicki, and he and his henchmen vandalize the surrounding works of art. Batman arrives and rescues Vicki, and the pair escape in the Batmobile. Batman gives information about Smilex to Vicki so she can warn the city via Gotham newspapers about the poisoned products.

Bruce meets with Vicki at her apartment, prepared to tell her that he is Batman. They are interrupted by the Joker, who asks Bruce, “Have you ever danced with the devil by the pale moonlight?“ before shooting him. Bruce, who was wearing body armor, escapes, and recollects that the man who killed his parents asked him the same question; he realizes that the Joker killed his parents. Vicki suddenly appears in the Batcave, having been let in by Bruce’s butler, Alfred Pennyworth (Michael Gough). After avouching himself to Vicki, Bruce—as Batman—leaves to destroy the Axis Chemical plant. Meanwhile, the Joker lures the townspeople to a nighttime parade with a promise to give away $20 million in cash. When the citizens arrive, however, he attacks them with Smilex gas spewing it from his giant parade balloons. Batman arrives on the scene and saves Gotham City from the attack using the Batwing, but the Joker kidnaps Vicki and takes her to the top of a cathedral.

Batman pursues the two, and at the top of the dusty edifice, he and the Joker confront each other in single combat. When the Joker attempts an escape via a helicopter, Batman grapples the Joker’s leg to a heavy stone sculpture, causing him to fall to his death. Commissioner Gordon unveils the Bat-Signal along with a note from Batman read by Harvey Dent, promising to defend Gotham whenever crime strikes again.

Before we go any further I want to get something else out of the way, this is my opinion. No matter how “totally wrong” you think I am, I still have every right to say what I have to say. If you agree, awesome! If you don’t, that’s fine. You’re more than welcome to tell me your respectful reasons as to why, in fact, here’s my askbox fill it to your heart’s content with why you disagree with me. But don’t go on a rant explaining why I’m somehow stupid or a deplorable human being because I don’t share your opinion on this film.

I tell you this now because, well, I’M TALKING ABOUT BATMAN! The films of this franchise have three radically different tones and everyone has something to say about them. Everyone in the world has a different opinion on what movies are the gold standard and what movies are the bottom of the barrel. And also, this is internet. Where saying something is better or worse than what most folks think is the equivalent of throwing someone’s first born child into a pit of molten lava.

So please, if I say something you disagree with, save your moral outrage for something more important than a guy talking about Batman on his blog. Like say the fact that Tim Burton is still allowed to make movies after this abomination

Now that’s something worth your moral outrage!

PROS:

• Danny Elfman’s score! Say all you want about Tim Burton movies, but whenever he grabs Elfman for the theme you can count on this son of a bitch to deliver! And don’t tell me that his theme isn’t legendary? Astonishing work as always Mr. Elfman, bravo!
  

  

• Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne. I’ve never gotten much of anything off of his Batman, but I’ve always kinda liked his Bruce Wayne. He’s just got this calm shy awkward demeanor to him that I enjoy. I hate to bring up this cliche argument, but it really leaves him as someone you wouldn’t expect to be Batman. If someone told you that this guy
  

  

  
  Was Batman, you’d probably laugh in their face. Where as if someone told you that these guys were Batman
  

  

  
  You wouldn’t necessarily believe them, but you’d be looking at them crosseyed for a while just sort of wondering “Or is he?” I also like how he’s always thinking about the matter at hand, he has Alfred do some research on Jack Napier, he does a chemical analysis of hair and makeup products to see if they really are poisoned like the Joker says, and when the Joker shows up at Vicki’s apartment, the first thing he does is hide, but he doesn’t just stay hidden. He grabs a silver platter and hides it under his shirt, and then he tries to distract the creep while he goes for a possible weapon, ie., the poker from Vicki’s fireplace! I like how he’s clearly a smart guy. So good job on that note people.
• Jack Nicholson as the fucking Joker! If there’s one thing this movie gets right character wise, it’s The Joker! This movie does a great job of crafting his darkly comedic persona, and every time you see him you get why people are skeeved out by him. I’m tempted to complain about how they gave him a full on origin story for this film, but I call it a gimme that some films just sort of need to have. I think Jack also perfectly caught his manic persona, how he’s always giggling, joking, and completely over the fucking top! My personal favorite moment of his is the scene where he first reveals himself to his boss after his skin was bleached, and says “Jack is dead, my friend. You can call me… Joker! And as you can see, I’m a whole lot happier!” And that final shot of him lying dead on the ground while a recording him laughing plays on really does freak the hell out of me.
• I really liked Kim Basinger’s Vicki Vale, I thought she had a good personality and was a fun presence at the right moments. And I liked her dynamic with Robert Wuhl’s Knox with how he’s always flirting with her and he’s always playfully shutting her down, especially at the end of their first scene where he asks her to marry him and she replies “Nope.” Then he asks if she’ll buy him lunch, and she answers “Maybe.” She didn’t do a ton in the film, but she never did anything to make me dislike her so I think I’ll sit on the side of liking her.
• Robert Wuhl’s Knox is an odd character, but I like how despite the fact that he comes off as a little pompous he ultimately does take a heroic action by grabbing a paint mask and a piece of wood from his trunk to fend off rioters from coming at his car while Vicki is inside it. It’s pretty clear that while he may be a bit off an odd guy he’s not really a bad guy.
• Michael Gough’s Alfred was such a sweet character. He comes off as just the nicest old man ever honestly, and he doesn’t have quite the same no bullshit attitude that Michael Caine’s Alfred would later have, he does make a certain comment about the man he cares for’s lifestyle saying, “I have no wish to fill my few remaining years grieving for the loss of old friends. Or their sons.” I also love this quick gag during the party where Bruce keeps setting an item down when he’s finished with it, and Alfred picks up each time and places it on his caterer’s tray. Gough just brought a lot of class to the role honestly, I mean for fuck’s sake, he managed to sound tasteful during the fucking Diet Coke commercial for this movie! Also I feel it’d be wrong of me to not note that Michael tragically passed away in 2011. Upon hearing of his death, Keaton actually sent a brief obituary to The Hollywood Reporter, writing “To Mick – my butler, my confidant, my friend, my Alfred. I love you. God bless. Michael (Mr Wayne) Keaton.” Rest in peace Mr. Gough, you will be missed.
• Pat Hingle and Billy Dee Williams didn’t get to do a lot in their roles as Commissioner Gordon and Harvey Dent, but I thought did perfectly fine in both of their roles. Interestingly, according to the late Hingle, there was brief scene shot where Gordon was seen looking after Bruce Wayne as young patrolman after Bruce had just witnessed his parents murders that for some reason the production decided to not us. I wish they’d included that, if for no other reason than it would’ve given some more meat to Hingle’s role. Either way, nice job gentlemen, and rest in peace Mr. Hingle.
• Bob the Goon. I liked Bob. Bob was a good goon.

CONS

• Look, I’m fine with a movie making deviations from the comics, but The Joker killing the Waynes is fucking stupid.
• The action in this movie is terrible. There’s just nothing exciting to it at all. It’s dull, it’s boring, it leaves me checking my watch.
• I’m with Batman killing because he doesn’t have a choice, I’m with Batman killing on accident, but what I’m not fine with, is him blatantly driving the batmobile into the Axis Chemical Factory and bombing the place to hell so as to get rid of all of The Joker’s thugs. Fuck you movie!
• The final sequences in the church tower and at the parade sequence go on waaaay too long. The church tower scene should’ve been cut completely, in my opinion, and the parade sequence should’ve gone on for 3 minutes before Batman’s plane shows up, and The Joker should’ve then gassed everyone. That would’ve been much better I’d say.
• I really hate how Bats just tries to walk up all the stairs in the church tower, dude, you have a grapplegun! Use it!
• The way The Joker is killed just doesn’t make any sense, if the helicopter was pulling that hard, it should’ve either A. Broken Batman’s line. B. Made Joker lose his grip. Or C. Broken Joker’s leg. Not break off the fucking gargoyle and cause the clown to fall to his fucking death!
• The standoff between The Joker and the Batplane does not make sense. The clown’s right fucking there Bats and you can’t hit him? Aim for fuck’s sake! Oh, and one shot from a revolver with a giant ass barrel is all it takes down the damn plane? Fuck you again movie!
• Kim and Michael don’t have any chemistry. They’re both perfectly fine on their own, but when you have Vicki telling Bruce that she’s loved him ever since she met him, it really does fall flat, and it really shouldn’t.

Overall, I can’t say I like this movie, but I really can’t say I hate it either. If I grew up on it like so many other folks did I might be able to have a softer opinion of it, but I didn’t and don’t. All in all, I’m gonna Tim Burton’s Batman a 6.3 out of 10.

Thank you for reading I hope you enjoyed this review, or at least, weren’t overly offended by it. And If you did enjoy, head back on up to the start of my review to hear my thoughts on some other DC movies, including reviews of last couple films we were given of a certain Last Son of Krypton! And when you’re done with those, stop on by for my next review where I’ll be tackling Tim’s next Bat-movie

Probably not the same Battime, but absolutely the same BatURL!