DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series – Batman: Assault on Arkham (2014)

Written In July 2014

You know, I was convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that this movie would absolutely suck. I was absolutely certain that this movie would be frothing at the mouth awful, but now that I’ve seen it, I feel like I owe my friend Sean an apology. We were talking the other day about how Bruce Timm was involved with an animated DC movie again and I said, “Maybe we’ll finally get some good stuff back in here!” And he told me that Throne of Atlantis, the DC movie set to follow this one, would be awesome and I replied “Oh, of course it won’t!” And a few months earlier when the trailer for this movie got dropped he posted a link to it on his Facebook saying he thought it looked awesome and I just commented saying “It’s gonna suck.” I was completely wrong and I honestly owe him an apology. My bad pal, they gave us a fun ride, and I was wrong. Let’s dig into this.

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

Amanda Waller forms the Suicide Squad where their mission is to break into Arkham Asylum and recover top secret information from Riddler. Suicide Squad member Harley Quinn ends up freeing Joker who makes plans to blow up Arkham Asylum and Gotham City causing Batman to spring into action.

No seriously, that’s all Wikipedia had to say about the movie. I thought about mixing it up for once and actually grabbing the summary from IMDb, but they had even less to say on the matter! But the funny thing is, they said that this movie is based on the Arkham games from Rocksteady… And it really shouldn’t because this movie shares none of those games’ atmosphere, ambiance, writing, or tone. It takes some their designs

And two of their cast members

But it literally has nothing to do with those games. The Arkham games have been described as combining the best parts of the Nolan films with the general atmosphere and focus of Batman: The Animated Series. This is basically if you made Batman the main cop in a 70’s pulp movie. It literally has ZERO to do with the Arkham games at all. But if we’re honest with ourselves, I think we all know that this game

Is gonna be far better than anything the people in charge of DC Animation can come up with at this point. But, we all need a little bit of stupid bloody fun in our lives every now again, so let’s see how Assault on Arkham stacks up against the likes of Justice League War and Son of Batman.

PROS:

• Neal McDonough as Deadshot is the star of this show, and he shines bright throughout! I think his design is probably on the high end for this movie, and his voice just fit this character perfectly. I’m more familiar with Deadshot as a more rogueish character, and there’s plenty of that left here, but it just comes off as more leading man friendly. Great work Mr. McDonough, you make everything cool.
• CCH Pounder returns as Amanda Waller who kills it as always in this role. If anyone of actual influence at DC Entertainment is reading this review, please please please cast Miss Pounder as Waller in one of your movies, you will not regret it!
• Matthew Gray Gubler does the voice of the Riddler and he’s absolutely perfect throughout. Excellent choice!
• Giancarlo Esposito doesn’t say a ton as Black Spider but he’s Giancarlo Esposito so he’s automatically awesome!
• Greg Ellis does a fun job as Captain Boomerang, and I love Boomerang and Deadshot’s rivalry, that made for some good stuff.
• Jennifer Hale as Killer Frost. She’s Jennifer Hale, that’s an automatic pro.
• Nolan North does a kick ass Penguin.
• Kevin Conroy doesn’t do a ton as Batman, but it’s Kevin Conroy. What more do I need to say?
• That last scene is perfect. Let’s be honest here, if you read comics, or if you’ve watched these cartoons, you’ve wanted to see that bitch, Amanda Waller, dead for a long ass time! Thank you so much Deadshot!

CONS:

• I hold no disrespect at all to Troy Baker and Hynden Walch, I think they’re both absolutely terrific voice actors and I’ve loved them in lots of stuff, but good God did they make for a terrible Joker and Harley. My issue? They’re both impersonations. I know DC struck gold with Mark Hamill and Arleen Sorkin, but if they both gave up the role, you really shouldn’t be trying to recreate them, give someone a chance to do something different. Also at one point, Joker barges in on the Suicide Squad and proclaims “I’M HERE BITCHES!” That’s not a Joker line, that’s a fucking Deadpool line, and you know it. As for Harley, why the fuck did you need to show her tricking Deadshot into sleeping with her? This is an actual movie people, not fucking fanfiction!
• Is there any particular reason why they strip the women down so often in this movie? Any reason that makes sense and isn’t just an excuse to put titties on the screen in some capacity?
• Whoever these KGBeast and King Shark people are, they really don’t need to be in more movies.
• How do make a movie that’s only 75 minutes feel too long? You could’ve easily cut out the entire sequence where Deadshot has to wrestle with Captain Boomerang for control of a helicopter, and then wrestle with Joker while Harley tries to figure out what the hell to do. And then you could’ve cut the fight between The Joker and Deadshot inside the building where the helicopter crashes into, and the fight between Batman and Harley for the Joker’s hammer.
• A subplot in this movie is that the Joker has a dirty bomb planted in the city. Okay let me explain something here; The Joker always justifies his crimes as being a form of comedy. So what in hell is comedic about blowing half the city to hell with a nuclear bomb? What could be even remotely comedic about that?

All in all, despite my quibbles, Assault on Arkham is a big step forward after the last three DC movies ranging between okay, awful, and even worse. I’m gonna give this one a 7.2 out of 10.

DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - Superman/Batman: Public Enemies (2009)

Written In January 2014 

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

LexCorp’s CEO, Lex Luthor, has been elected President of United States during a severe nation-wide economic depression. Under his leadership, the economy begins to thrive and he assembles a force of government-employed superheroes consisting of Captain Atom, Starfire, Katana, Black Lightning, Power Girl, andMajor Force. Meanwhile, Superman and Batman maintain their distrust toward Luthor.

The United States government discovers that a massive Kryptonite meteor is hurtling toward Earth. Instead of asking superheroes for aid and wanting to take credit for himself, Luthor decides to destroy it with nuclear missiles. Luthor arranges a meeting with Superman in Gotham City under the pretense of forming a pact. This results in a battle between the hired Metallo and Superman and Batman. Following the heroes’ escape, Metallo is killed by an unknown assailant.

On national television later that night, Luthor pins Metallo’s murder on Superman, using footage of their battle to implicate him. Luthor claims that the radiation being emitted by the meteor can affect Superman’s judgment, and he places a one-billion-dollar bounty on the Man of Steel.

While breaking into S.T.A.R. Labs seeking information on the meteor, Batman and Superman find Metallo’s remains and realize that intense radiation has killed him. They are then attacked by an army of villains looking to collect on the bounty. The army includes: Silver Banshee, Captain Cold, Icicle, Killer Frost, Mr. Freeze, Gorilla Grodd, Bane, Black Manta, Black Spider, Brimstone, Catman, Cheetah, Copperhead, Deadshot, Kestrel, King Shark, Brutale, Despero, Giganta, Girder, Lady Shiva, Mongul, Captain Boomerang II, Nightshade, Parasite, Solomon Grundy, and Shrike. After some effort, most of the villains are defeated. The remaining villains are defeated by Captain Atom, who has arrived with Luthor’s superhero team to arrest Superman. All but Power Girl, whose loyalties are divided, attempt to capture the heroic duo. Superman creates a twister using his superspeed, and the two heroes escape with Power Girl.

In Metropolis, Power Girl admits that she feels unnerved by Luthor and doesn’t believe Superman killed Metallo. Luthor’s superheroes catch up and the fight begins anew, this time with Power Girl aiding Superman and Batman. The Dark Knight realizes that Major Force killed Metallo under Luthor’s orders and goads him into admitting it in front of everyone. In anger, Power Girl punches him in the stomach with so much force that it ruptures his containment suit. Captain Atom, ashamed at his complicity in Luthor’s misdeeds, absorbs the energy, disintegrating Major Force and injuring himself in the process.

Meanwhile, Luthor’s missiles fail to stop the meteor when the sheer amount of radiation being emitted by it detonates them before impact. Amanda Waller later discovers that Luthor has secretly been taking a serum composed of liquid kryptonite and Bane’s Venom since the last days of the presidential election campaign, making him lose whatever rationality he had left. Feeling disillusioned by his failure in destroying the meteor with his missiles, Luthor decides to let the meteor hit the Earth so that he may rule over what remains of society. Batman and Superman attempt to break into Luthor’s base of operations to retrieve data on the meteor’s radiation. They end up in battle with Captain Marvel and Hawkman, eventually emerging victorious with Power Girl’s (off-screen) aid. Though Luthor refuses to relinquish the data, going so far as to erase it from the lab computers, Waller gives them a copy, being disgusted with Luthor’s plans. Batman and Superman fly off to Tokyo to deliver the data on the meteor to the Japanese Toyman, who has already built a giant rocket-propelled spacecraft, intending to use it as a large missile to stop the meteor. Waller and the military then attempt to arrest Luthor, but he injects himself with more kryptonite/venom and dons a power suit. After escaping Waller and the military, Luthor follows Superman and Batman overseas.

After Batman and Superman arrive at Toyman’s base, he shows them the spacecraft, which resembles a giant, robotic composite version of Superman and Batman. With the data, Toyman is able to calculate the necessary reinforcements needed for his own rocket so it won’t explode before impact like Luthor’s missiles did. Unfortunately, the arriving Luthor neutralizes Power Girl, Superman and Batman, and then disables the rocket’s remote guidance systems so that it won’t take off by itself. Having no other choice, Batman decides to fly the rocket himself, despite Superman’s protests. Though initially faring poorly against Luthor and his kryptonite power suit, the rage over losing his best friend allows Superman to gain the upper hand, and after an aerial chase leading them all the way back to Metropolis, he defeats him in the streets there. Batman succeeds in destroying the meteor, and Superman finds him alive and well in an escape pod.

With the truth of Metallo’s death now public knowledge, Superman is cleared of the murder charge and Luthor is arrested and taken away to face trial and impeachment for his crimes. Batman then returns to Gotham while the Daily Planet’s star journalist, Lois Lane, arrives and happily embraces the Man of Steel.

This movie has multiple strikes against it, so I’m going strait to cons!

CONS:

• Heroes Fighting Other Heroes. That is a stupid plot device, heroes don’t always get along, but they’re smart enough to not slug it out in the streets. Not in this movie though!
• President Luthor. Who in their right mind would vote for a super villain?
• Kids Movie That’s Not For Kids. This didn’t need to be what it is. Take out the language and tone down the action, this is not a PG-13 movie, not with these God awful character designs.
• Lex Luthor Is CRAZY! He’s not supposed to be crazy you fucking morons! He’s a Goddamn businessman!
• Superman and Batman aren’t Superman and Batman: Clark Kent is a Pulitzer Prize winning Journalist! Bruce Wayne has multiple degrees in science and engineering and is a master detective! But why are they both acting like complete morons!
• This Toyman kid is irritating as hell!
• Power Girl is without motive in siding with Batman & Superman or Lex.
• You have LeVar Burton as Black Lightning, Geordie from Star Trek: TNG and the host of Reading Rainbow, and you only give him one line in the entire fucking movie!?? What the hell??
• The action is often pointless.
• Amanda Waller is wasted, utterly wasted!
• They made a boob joke about Power Girl… And they wouldn’t let a character actually say the word "boobs" … THIS IS PG-FUCKING-13!!! YOU DON’T NEED TO BE SO DAMN SHEEPISH ABOUT A WOMAN’S BREASTS FOR FUCK’S SAKE!

PROS:

• Tim Daly, Kevin Conroy, Clancy Brown, and CCH Pounder all give very good performances in this movie.
• Allison Mack, Chloe Sullivan from Smallville, does a pretty nice job as Power Girl.
• The opening credits sequence was pretty cool.
• The score was really good, although it reminded me a lot of the Mission Impossible theme.

Okay, so all that being said, I’m going to give this movie a 2.4 out of 10. I don’t give a damn what anyone says, this movie is worse that Batman Forever, Batman & Robin, Superman III, and Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, COMBINED! At least those are entertaining bad movies.