The Modern Day Superman In Film Review Series - The Inevitable Comparison

Written In April 2014

Now let’s get into the basic criteria, I’ll be grading these movies by:

1. General Plot Development And Overall Simplicity In Story Telling
2. Quality Of The Action
3. Best Superman
4. Best Lois Lane
5. Best Villain
6. Best Supporting Cast
7. Who Told The Story Best

So, Khan, my dear friend, if you would please.

Plot Development And Story Telling Simplicity

This part’s easy. I can pretty much tell you what Man of Steel is about in one sentence without actually mentioning anything about Superman; “Two members of a dying alien race are forced into conflict over the future of Earth with one ultimately being forced to kill the other to protect this planet." Can I do the same with Superman Returns? Not really. "An alien traveler returns to earth after having left five years earlier in order to see if his home planet was truly gone. Meanwhile, his human partner has moved on from him and his old enemy has come out of hiding in order to seek a new way to cause chaos. The traveler hopes to rekindle his old love affair but finds that he can’t do to her being committed to another man. However, when the traveler’s former lover and her new family are placed in jeopardy, the traveler must sacrifice himself to save them. But the traveler is inexplicably saved by his old flame and finds that his former partner’s child is his own, and so then promises to never abandon his new home.” It may seem like I’m making Returns more complicated than it is, but that’s really the best I could actually some it up. That’s not to say that complicated stories are a bad thing, but a simple story to tell usually works best in Superhero, Scifi, Action, and Fantasy based movies. Now this again doesn’t apply to all movies of that genre, The Lord of the Rings films have multiple subplots and side storylines going at the same time as the main plot which is to get this one object back to the place it was created at so it can be destroyed. But the thing there is, those films, while they work fine on their own, they work best as three parts of one whole movie. There’s a film like Star Trek II: The Wrath of KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!

I’m sorry. Let me rephrase that. There’s a film like Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, that is a fairly complicated film. It’s a movie about hate, revenge, life and death, youth, age, hope, gay aliens, etc. All of these themes are present in one movie alone, but the movie primarily focuses on two characters only. William Shatner’s Admiral James T. Kirk and Ricardo Montabalhan’s Khan Noonien Singh. This movie tries to focus on four characters. Lex Luthor, Superman-The Superhero, Superman-The Creepy Ex-Boyfriend, and Clark Kent. And then it tries to give a smaller amount of attention to Lois’s current beau and their kid. Singer, there are two things people hate when it comes to fiction. Kids and Love Triangles. You’ve unknowingly given everyone who was interested in seeing this movie the bird by giving us this.

Man of Steel however, while an origin story, only ever shows things that are integral to the plot or the development of the characters. We see Clark before he becomes Superman working at a Canadian bar. Why? Because it’s here we see A. This Clark Kent cares a great deal about people. When a female coworker is being harassed by some douche, he tells him to knock it off or he’s going to have him leave. And B. It sets up the next scene where we meet Lois and Clark finds out who he really is. Everything is shown with deliberate intentions.

While with Superman Returns, you can tell that Bryan Singer and the writers thought that certain ideas could be really cool, but had no idea how to correctly execute them. “Let’s give Superman an illegitimate son! A lot more people these days are having children out of wedlock than they were in the late 70s and early 80s, maybe this will make Superman more relatable to modern audiences!” Except you’re forgetting that Lois has no idea she ever slept with Superman, you idiots! You’ve basically made Superman not only a stalker ex-boyfriend AND a deadbeat dad, you’ve made it so that he’s an implied rapist!

So yeah, like I said. Easy answer, MOS told it’s story much better.

Quality Of The Action

Well again, that’s an easy question. Man of Steel was done by an action director! I mean Singer’s done great action before, like I said in my Superman Returns review, X2: X-Men United has some of the best action I’ve ever seen in a superhero movie. It’s intense, it’s kinetic, it’s well choreographed, it’s well acted, the stakes are high

And this is 2006, we are not before the time when CG can create intense and exciting action sequences. We are three years after the Return of the King, two years after Spider-Man 2, one year after Peter Jackson’s King Kong, and a year after this we’ll be given Transformers, Zack Snyder’s 300, Spider-Man 3, and Die Hard 4! You can make great action sequences with CGI!

And yet, pretty much all this Superman was relegated to was stopping bullets and catching or lifting heavy things. And in one scene, he outright takes a beating from Lex when exposed to massive amounts of Kryptonite. Singer, I understand that you wanted to make Lex the villain and so you don’t have a lot of opportunities for big set pieces, but give me something here man! I know you can do action, show me something cool!

Besides the eyeshot thing, oh my God!

Meanwhile, Zack Snyder not only did 300 (and produced it’s recent sequel) he also directed 2009’s Watchmen! Which was not short on action! Take a look at this sequence with Rorschach. Screw cops, right? So you know what I’m saying when I say that in Man of Steel, Snyder stepped up his game big time! Take a look at this thing of beauty. C'mon Singer, give me something here! What about that scene where Lex’s thugs beat Superman up, what do you got there?

Okay, something I find noteworthy in both scenes is Superman is seen trying to get away from his foes. You know what the difference is? In the former scene, Clark is trying to get away quick enough to get back on his feat so he can keep fighting, while at the same time trying to get the bad guys just a little bit further away from the civilians. While in the latter scene, it comes off like Clark is trying to run away. He doesn’t try to fight back, except for when he grabs Lex’s foot, It comes off like he’s given up and he just wants to the pain to stop. This is something I take genuine issue with. Superman is the kind of guy who would fight back even if he were powerless. If he came to stop Lex Luthor and found out that he was weak here, he’d still give it his everything.

So yeah, once again, I’m giving this to Man of Steel.

And now for the big question, Best Superman

This one, is not as a question to answer because these two actors were going for different things.

Brandon Routh was basically directed to give his best Christopher Reeve impersonation, which I think he pulls of nicely. While Henry Cavill, the first and only British actor to play Superman, is the first big screen actor to go for a separate take from Christopher Reeve. His Superman has to convey authority to the point that you feel the need to listen to him, but not to the point that you’re genuinely intimidated by him. And also, his Superman is the first one to be a badass! This guy gets into some serious fights throughout this film, and he even wins a couple of ‘em! I know Reeve’s Superman fought Zod and his cronies back in Superman II, but do you really consider this to be an acceptable action piece? Personally, I don’t think so.

Now I think there are two moments in these movies that are unequivocally Superman to me. One is this scene where Superman tells everyone not worry about flying, it’s still a very safe way to travel. The other is when Supes is being interrogated by Lois and the General.

Ultimately, I wanna call it a tie, but I’m gonna go ahead and say Henry. He just reminds me a lot of the Superman I loved to watch as a kid when I turned on Cartoon Network to watch Justice League. Always authoritative, but never intimidating. Always polite, but never a pushover. Perfection!

And that’s no slight towards Brandon, he does the best with what he has!

Best Lois Lane

Which of these ladies would you say looks like a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist? Which of these ladies would you say looks like someone who has worked in journalism for over a decade? Which of these ladies looks like a woman who could single handedly piss off people like the Pentagon? If you’re confused, I’ll give you a hint, it’s not the girl in purple.

No, but seriously, it takes several years to get a degree in journalism and then a good while to get an actual job writing something and then even longer to actually come up with something worth winning a Pulitzer Prize over. They don’t just hand those things over to anyone. So based on that, Kate Bosworth was unqualified to begin with. She was 23 at the time of this movie’s release! Amy Adams however turned 39 two months later.

But even looking at the actual performances, Amy comes off like she IS Lois freaking Lane! Kate comes off more like a really smart girl on the school paper. I could easily see her one day becoming Lois Lane, but as is, I cannot see her as Lois Lane now. Point for Man of Steel!

Best Villain

Now THIS is the tough part. Not only do you have two amazing actors in these roles, but their both playing two of the most iconic Superman villains ever brought to life.

In Superman Returns’s corner, we have the great Kevin Spacey as Lex flippin’ Luthor! In Man of Steel’s we have the one and only Michael Shannon as the mighty General Zod! These two gentlemen turned excellent performances, in fact, while I am extremely excited to see Jesse Eisenberg as Lex, I would have loved to see Man of Steel 2 pull a Casino Royale and bring back Kevin. After seeing him as Frank Underwood on Netflix’s House of Cards, he could’ve owned it as this new DC Cinematic Universe’s Lex! But hey, we’ll see what Jesse brings to the table, I’m sure it'l be great!

But speaking of Man of Steel, we’ve got a certain General to talk about. Now, after seeing this movie in theaters, I decided to do a review series on Michael Bay’s directorial efforts, and what I gathered from it is that Michael Bay really knows how to waste talented actors! Especially Michael Shannon, and what’s worse is he wasted the guy in two separate movies!

Here he is playing a fool in Pearl Harbor

And here he is playing a racist fool in Bad Boys II, which is a God awful movie! It’s far worse than anything you could possibly hate about these movies.

Anywho, let’s talk about the villains themselves. Zod is the definition of Lawful Evil. He outright spells it out, I will do anything and everything to ensure the survival of my race, even it means destroying a whole other race. You can tell at times, he doesn’t want to be doing these things, but he feels like it was the only way to ensure what he needed to ensure.

Lex on the other hand has ZERO moral qualms with anything he’s doing. When his henchwoman, Kitty, asks him if billions of people will really die because of what he’s doing, he simply says yes. He doesn’t even given the tiniest indication that the idea of killing the majority of the world population is anything he genuinely has any thoughts about, in fact, if you’ll recall the confrontation he had with Lois earlier, he even seemed kind of excited by it. I think his best moment in the movie isn’t actually the scene where he stabs Supes with the Kryptonite shank, but just a couple minutes before it where he outright calls Superman an alien.

If I were to compare the two with other villains, I would say Lex is the Davros to Superman’s Doctor, while Zod is his Master. The former is a character who believes that his own will is supreme and that his intelligence makes that so. While the latter is the only other member of Superman’s race and would sooner kill them both than surrender to him.

I again, want to say it’s a tie, but Michael Shannon’s Zod really leaves more of an impact, it’s partly for the same reason why I think Henry was better than Brandon. This guy got to do his own thing, he had no one else to live up to, while Kevin and Brandon were both doing a version of the same thing someone else did. Terrence Stamp’s Zod was just a megalomaniac even more so akin to the Master than Shannon’s, while Michael’s Zod is a military man who wants desperately to do what he thinks is right even if it goes against the very nature of being a decent person.

Kevin, you’re fantastic, but point goes to Michael!

And now for the final two, starting with Best Supporting Cast

Returns pretty much only had Jimmy Olsen, Perry White, and Lois’s beau, Richard. I mean, you could maybe count the little kid and Lex’s crew, but Jason doesn’t do anything, and the only one actually says anything is Parker Posey’s character.

On the other hand, Man of Steel had Perry, Jor-El, Ma and Pa Kent, Steve Lombard, two military guys who have something resembling a character arc, Zod’s own henchwoman (Faora), and Emil Hamilton! And what’s great about them is they serve a purpose within the movie! To be honest, there’s really not much point to Superman Returns’s cast. So yeah, another point for Man of Steel.

And finally, Who Told The Story Best

Look, I did genuinely like Superman Returns! I don’t think it’s a crappy movie, I just don’t think it’s an especially great movie! I can honestly say I’d rather sit through this than something horrible like Sharknado! But, I have to say, I don’t think this really works for what it was going for. It’s some sort of weird limbo between the full reboot we got with Man of Steel and the original Christopher Reeve films. I understand that Bryan Singer wanted to make his own little tribute song to those first two Superman movies, and I can understand why. I mean I grew up loving the Tobey Maguire Spider-Man movies, and I’d love to make my own little homage sequel to those movies, but even then you have to move the story forward. While Man of Steel takes Superman in new and exciting story directions, Superman Returns just leaves the series off slightly better than it was after Superman III came out.

What I like about Man of Steel over Superman Returns could really be summed up pretty well in a Frozen quote, “I’m never going back, the past is in the past!” In other words, you needed to let it go Singer. The Christopher Reeve films were done with. I think what you did was an interesting experiment that could pay off with other stories, but not yours I’m afraid to say.

As for you Snyder, you told the best story you could and you told it brilliantly! And once again to quote Frozen, I don’t care what they’re going to say. This movie was perfect, and I’ll have no arguments otherwise. This movie said, screw the old stories, this is our story and we’ll tell it how we want to! If it flops, it flops. If it’s critically panned, it’s critically panned. And what’s life without a gamble every now and again? Unless you’re a recovering gambling addict in which case, hang in there buddy!

So when it comes right down to it, I’m going to give the prize to Man of Steel.

Thank you for reading this and have a wonderful day!

DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - All-Star Superman (2010)

Written In January 2014

Wow, they really did cut a lot from this movie… So, am I the only one who wonders why these movies are all only 76 minutes or less? If you want to tell a long story, tell a long story! Go full on Return of the King for this movie! The fans think it deserves it and isn’t this movie for the fans? I mean who else really knew about All-Star Superman unless they were a die hard comic book superman fan! In fact, why split Dark Knight Returns into two 76 minute movies? Why not just go for one two and a half hour movie, if people see the movie is that bloody long, they might take it seriously and buy more copies. Everybody wins!

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

Dr. Leo Quintum and team are exploring the Sun when they are sabotaged by a booby-trapped genetically enhanced clone, turned into a time-bomb by Lex Luthor. Superman stops the clone but in doing so receives an overdose of solar radiation. Though the radiation is slowly killing him, it does give Superman new powers. Luthor, having orchestrated the death of Superman while under the employment of General Sam Lane, is arrested thanks to Clark Kent’s article and sentenced to death. Superman asks Dr. Quintim to keep news of his impending death secret from the public. Wanting to spend as much of his remaining time with Lois Lane, Superman reveals to her that he is Clark Kent. Lois doubts his revelation because she had been unable to prove Superman’s “Kent” identity herself. Superman takes her to the Fortress of Solitude. During this visit, Superman’s secretive behavior and her indirect exposure to alien chemicals heightens Lois’s paranoia.

She is startled by Robot 7, shooting it and then Superman with a kryptonite laser. The solar radiation having made him immune to green kryptonite, Superman is able to calm her, explaining his caginess was to hide her birthday present, a serum granting her superpowers for 24 hours. Now as aSuperwoman, she and Superman stop an attack by Subterraneans in Metropolis just as Samson and Atlas arrive. Samson flirts with Lois and gives her a necklace, the crown jewels of the Ultra-Sphinx. When Superman tells him to back off, he shows Superman a newspaper that reads “Superman Dead” and challenges Superman to contests to win Lois. The Ultra-Sphinx travels through time to reclaim the jewels Samson had stolen, placing Lois between life and death. Superman must answer an unanswerable question to save Lois. Superman then defeats Atlas and Samson in a double arm-wrestling match before spending the rest of the day with Lois as her powers fade.

Later, Kent meets Luthor for an exclusive interview at Stryker’s Island. However, Superman’s energy allows the Parasite to free himself and cause havoc in the prison. Clark stops him while not revealing his secret identity, with Luthor disclosing his respect for Clark as both a journalist and a man. Luthor then reveals a tunnel from his cell for Clark to escape through, aided by Nasthalthia, Luthor’s delinquent niece. Luthor chooses not to escape as the satisfaction of outliving Superman is rewarding enough. Weeks later, after taking the city of Kandor to a new planet to thrive, Superman returns to find Metropolis has been repaired with Kryptonian architecture and that Earth has been protected by Bar-El and Lilo, lost astronauts from Krypton. They followed the trail of the vessel that brought Superman to Earth. To his dismay, the two have less altruistic goals and intend to turn Earth into a new Krypton. As they fight Superman, Bar-El and Lilo begin showing signs of illness: the two had passed through the remnants of Krypton and thus were saturated with kryptonite. To save them and at their request, Superman places the two in the Phantom Zone until a cure can be found.

After settling his affairs, Superman proceeds to finish his last will and testament. Luthor reprogrammed one of the Fortress' robots to steal the serum he made for Lois’ birthday. Having the powers of Superman, Luthors’ electrocution failed and he escapes, unfettered. He meets with Nasthalthia below one of his lairs to continue his plans. Superman finishes his will when he learns of Luthor’s secret ally: Solaris, the tyrant star computer, which betrayed Luthor by tampering with Earth’s sun and turned it blue. With his robots, Superman engages Solaris in space. All seems lost until Superman’s pet Sun-Eater sacrifices itself to weaken the tyrant star, which allows Superman to destroy Solaris.

Clark returns to the Daily Planet, very ill, and dies upon completing his article. As the staff tries to save him, the super-powered Luthor arrives and attempts to kill Lois. Clark revives and fires a gravity gun at Luthor. Superman tells Luthor he has been on to him ever since Robot-7 first malfunctioned. As his powers fade, Luthor briefly sees the world as Superman sees it and weeps as he gains a measure of understanding of the subatomic and how it interconnects. The gravity weapon has warped time causing Luthor’s powers to burn out at a faster rate. As his powers drain, Luthor wishes the experience to continue. He believes he can solve the grand unification theory but when he reaches for his next vial of serum, he realizes that Superman has stolen his supply. Superman then destroys the serum, over Luthor’s protests, pointing out that if Luthor truly cared about solving the world’s problems, he would have done so long ago.

With Superman’s body starting to turn into pure energy, he and Lois embrace one final time and he proclaims his love for her once and for all. He flies into the Sun, seemingly sacrificing himself to save the Earth. Later, when Lois sits on bench in front of a statue of Superman, Jimmy invites her to attend a memorial service being held for Superman. Lois does not go as she believes Superman is not dead and will return after he repairs the sun. Quintum visits Luthor in his death row cell. Now enlightened from his ordeal and accepting his impending death, Luthor presents Quintum with the only thing that could redeem him for his actions over the years, a formula to recreate Superman’s genetic structure through a healthy human embryo. The movie ends with a picture of Superman fixing the sun and a voice says he will come back after fixing the sun.

So the last time we reviewed a solo Superman movie, I admitted that I hadn’t read the source material, well this time around I have read this book… And I don’t like it. I think it’s a mess with great artwork that has some interesting ideas and some nice quotes, but unfortunately Grant Morrison doesn’t seem to know how to tell a focused story. The first chapter of this story starts with Lex making it so that Superman has cancer, and then promptly does absolutely nothing with it for 10 chapters, then comes October of ‘08, almost three years after the first chapter and says “Oh golly gee, I’m dying! I’d better make sure the sun doesn’t die.” Why do we need to see Superman besting Samson and Atlas? Why do we need to see Clark Kent interviewing Lex Luthor in prison while Parasite tries to kill everyone in the building? Why do we need to see him trying to escape the square bizarro planet? Why do we need to see these two Kryptonian scientists be dicks to Earth only to randomly start dying so Superman can show them the error of their ways?

Now what we needed more of, was Superman telling Lois he’s Clark Kent and taking on the best date of her life on her birthday no less! Clark going back in time to say goodbye to his father one last time. Superman simultaneously frees Kandor AND CURES CANCER! These are things the story needs more of, not Superman being tested. We already know he’s the best, and we already know he’s the greatest. We don’t need to be shown that’s he’s super strong, super powerful or super smart. We need to show why the world is going to miss him so terribly once he’s gone. But instead, we’re shown everything we DON’T need to know. But enough about that comic, let’s talk about this movie.

PROS:

• Christina Hendricks is a wonderful Lois Lane!
• James Denton is a pretty good Superman!
• MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER AS JIMMY OLSEN! PER-FUCKING-FECTION!!!!!!
• I don't know who Anthony LaPaglia as Lex Luthor, but he did a pretty nice job!
• Really great animation!
• Ed Asner as Perry White, fantastic casting!
• Christopher Drake has another great score for this one!

CONS:

• They cut out the bit with Pa Kent, curing cancer and the Bizarro world, which are some of my favorite parts of the book, but for some reason left in the sequence at Ryker’s and the stuff with Samson and Atlas.
• Speaking of Samson and Atlas, these are some of the most generic and unentertaing performances I’ve ever heard by John DiMaggio and Steve Blum, shame on you movie!
• I think Christina does a great job as Lois, but I hate the Lois she’s written for. The fact that she completely disbelieves that Superman is Clark AFTER HE FUCKING TOLD HER always rubbed me the wrong way.
• This Lex rubs me from the wrong way too, definitely the more “I’m crazy and I hate Superman because he’s a good! GRAH!!!!!” variety. Not a terribly huge fan of that type of Lex.

All in all I don’t have a ton to say about this movie, it’s not awful, but I don’t think it’s good either. I’m going to give All-Star Superman, an extremely apathetic, 6 out of 10.

DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - Justice League: Crisis On Two Earths (2010)

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

In an alternate universe, heroic analogues of Lex Luthor and the Joker (called the Jester) are attempting to steal a device from the headquarters of the Crime Syndicate. The pair trip an alarm but manage to secure the “Quantum Trigger”. The Jester sacrifices himself to allow Luthor to escape and kills J'edd J'arkus and Angelique (alternate versions of Martian Manhunter and Hawkgirl respectively) with a radioactive bomb. Luthor is confronted by the remaining Syndicate members - Ultraman, Superwoman, Power Ring, Johnny Quick and Owlman, but escapes to the Earth of the heroic Justice League by activating a dimensional travel device.

Luthor locates a police station and is mistaken for the evil Luthor where he ends up strip-searched. The Justice League are summoned andSuperman's x-ray vision confirms Luthor’s reversed organs indicate that he is from a parallel Earth and that the evil Luthor is still incarcerated atStryker’s Island. The Justice League take the alternate Lex Luthor to their Watchtower, where the heroes learn of the Syndicate threat. As the Justice League debate the matter, Luthor hides the Quantum Trigger on the satellite. With the exception of Batman, who decides to stay as he believes the League is too busy with their own issues, the group - Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Flash and Martian Manhunter - travel to Luthor’s Earth.

Arriving at the Justice League’s base on Luthor’s parallel Earth, the heroes encounter and defeat two of the Syndicate and their allies (also evil versions of heroes belonging to the League). After another battle in the skies above the base, the heroes regroup at the Jester’s headquarters and plan to attack Syndicate targets. After a successful series of raids and capturing Ultraman, the League confront United States President Slade Wilson. Wilson releases Ultraman and explains that acceding to the Syndicate’s demands saves millions of lives. His daughter, Rose, however, regards him as a coward. J'onn inadvertently reads her mind and explains that as a military man her father actually holds life more dear than others. J'onn foils an assassination attempt on Rose and the pair fall in love.

Owlman constructs a weapon, the Quantum Eigenstate Device or Q.E.D., which the Syndicate intend to use as the equalizer to the threat of a nuclear reprisal. When pressed by Superwoman, Owlman admits the weapon can destroy entire worlds. Believing there are many parallel Earths, and that each one develops from the choices that each person makes, Owlman becomes obsessed with the idea that nothing he does can possibly matter, as there will always be parallel worlds where he explored another option. Owlman begins fervently seeking Earth-Prime, the very first Earth from which all other universes originated. Owlman intends to use the weapon to destroy Earth-Prime, causing a chain reaction that would erase the entire multiverse, as it is the only action that would not result in the creation of another universe. He then sends Superwoman with three of her lieutenants to the League’s dimension, and on the Watchtower they battle Batman, Aquaman, Black Canary, Black Lightning, Firestorm and Red Tornado. Superwoman and one of her lieutenants escape with the Quantum Trigger, but are followed by Batman.

Batman tricks and defeats Superwoman, and summons the League. J'onn and Rose bond, and Rose decides to learn the location of the Syndicate base to allow the Justice League to confront them. The League arrive at the Crime Syndicate’s moonbase with captive Superwoman, and eventually battle the Syndicate. Owlman fights off Batman and takes the QED bomb to Earth-Prime, the original universe that contained the first alternate Earth. Earth-Prime turns out to be uninhabited and lifeless, having suffered a cataclysm that caused it to leave solar orbit. Luthor speculates that a speedster might be able to vibrate and match the temporal vibration of the teleported QED device and open a portal. Batman dissuades the Flash from attempting this and Johnny Quick volunteers and opens a portal.

Batman pursues Owlman to Earth-Prime, and although Owlman’s exoskeleton provides an edge he is ultimately tricked and teleported with the Q.E.D. device to another lifeless, uninhabited Earth with an orbital ring that either never coalesced into the Earth's Moon, or the shattered remnants of a Moon that passed too close to the Earth's Roche limit in that universe. Owlman decides not to abort the bomb’s countdown and states that “it doesn’t matter”. He is killed when the bomb detonates and destroys that alternate Earth but no others. Batman returns to discover that the strain of acting as a vibratory conduit has aged Johnny Quick to near death. Before dying, Johnny correctly deduces that Batman had anticipated this and prevented the Flash from trying to save him. J'onn returns, accompanied by President Wilson and the U.S. Marines, and together they arrest Ultraman, Superwoman, and Power Ring.

Wilson thanks the heroes, and although Rose asks J'onn to remain with her, the group return to their dimension. Wonder Woman retains the still-cloaked plane stolen from Owlman, and Batman and Superman discuss a membership drive, with the five heroes summoned previously greeting the League.

PROS:

• Really cool story, I love movies about heroes interacting with their mirror verse counterparts.
• This entire cast!
• Josh Keaton and Nolan North as The Flash and Green Lantern
• Mark Harmon as Superman, I really loved his voice, he kind of reminded me of George Newbern’s take on the Man of Steel from Justice League/Justice League Unlimited.
• James Woods as Owlman, I don’t need to explain. He’s James Woods, he kicks ass in everything.
• Gina Torres as Superwoman, I’m starting to suspect that Andrea and Bruce are Whedonites. More on that on a later date though.
• Great action.
• I loved the scene where Lex arrives at the police station in the Justice League’s universe and he sort of makes this half hearted threat “Let me talk to the Justice League or I’ll, uh… Blow up the world or something, I guess?” I laughed a lot at that. XD
• A delightful, albeit somewhat tragic, romance between J'onn and President Wilson’s daughter Rose. Wait a minute a delightful but tragic romance between an alien man, who is the last of his kind due to war, and a woman named Rose? Where have we seen this before… Oh wait! I remember!
  
  Doctor Who references FTW!
• I only know this William Baldwin fellow from voicing Johnny 13 in Danny Phantom, but I really liked his take on Batman, although his voice feels somewhat more Michael Keaton esque than Christian Bale perhaps.
• I loved Vanessa Marshall’s take on Wondy, she was just so SASSY! When J'onn and Rose are first about to part ways, she tells him don’t be stupid, if you love her so much, stay!
• I really liked this Lex Luthor, he comes off as recognizably Lex, but still clearly a good guy!
• The Jester! I know James Patrick Stuart went uncredited for this part, but God almighty he was the perfect hero version of the Joker! Still a sick bastard with a sinister sense of humor, but clearly a noble spirit who would gladly sacrifice himself for his best friend.
• This movie created this meme!
  
  And that’s awesome!

CONS:

• I would’ve liked to see more of the rest of the crime syndicate and to see how they similar and different from the Justice League.
• I don’t understand Owlman’s logic that just because every we time we make a choice, in an alternate universe, we’ve made the opposite, makes life meaningless and therefore the only meaningful action that could be taken is to end all universes there has been or will be. I mean, I’m not supposed to, I’m a reasonable human being who values the lives of good people, but I don’t get that from the standpoint of Devil’s Advocate I still don’t get his logic. Like when the Joker in The Dark Knight says that he essentially believes that morals and codes of anyone who claims to be a good person are bullshit because the moment push comes to shove they go back on them and do things they claim they don’t believe in. I understand that, because people are like that. I don’t understand this though, because an alternate version of you is not you. Owlman and Batman may be different versions of the same man, but they are ultimately not the same.

All in all, this was a enormous breath of fresh air after such a shitty movie that I never want to see again! This movie, I would watch again, in fact, I did watch it again… Twice! Justice League: Crisis On Two Earths shall receive 9.1 out of 10!

DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - Superman/Batman: Public Enemies (2009)

Written In January 2014 

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

LexCorp’s CEO, Lex Luthor, has been elected President of United States during a severe nation-wide economic depression. Under his leadership, the economy begins to thrive and he assembles a force of government-employed superheroes consisting of Captain Atom, Starfire, Katana, Black Lightning, Power Girl, andMajor Force. Meanwhile, Superman and Batman maintain their distrust toward Luthor.

The United States government discovers that a massive Kryptonite meteor is hurtling toward Earth. Instead of asking superheroes for aid and wanting to take credit for himself, Luthor decides to destroy it with nuclear missiles. Luthor arranges a meeting with Superman in Gotham City under the pretense of forming a pact. This results in a battle between the hired Metallo and Superman and Batman. Following the heroes’ escape, Metallo is killed by an unknown assailant.

On national television later that night, Luthor pins Metallo’s murder on Superman, using footage of their battle to implicate him. Luthor claims that the radiation being emitted by the meteor can affect Superman’s judgment, and he places a one-billion-dollar bounty on the Man of Steel.

While breaking into S.T.A.R. Labs seeking information on the meteor, Batman and Superman find Metallo’s remains and realize that intense radiation has killed him. They are then attacked by an army of villains looking to collect on the bounty. The army includes: Silver Banshee, Captain Cold, Icicle, Killer Frost, Mr. Freeze, Gorilla Grodd, Bane, Black Manta, Black Spider, Brimstone, Catman, Cheetah, Copperhead, Deadshot, Kestrel, King Shark, Brutale, Despero, Giganta, Girder, Lady Shiva, Mongul, Captain Boomerang II, Nightshade, Parasite, Solomon Grundy, and Shrike. After some effort, most of the villains are defeated. The remaining villains are defeated by Captain Atom, who has arrived with Luthor’s superhero team to arrest Superman. All but Power Girl, whose loyalties are divided, attempt to capture the heroic duo. Superman creates a twister using his superspeed, and the two heroes escape with Power Girl.

In Metropolis, Power Girl admits that she feels unnerved by Luthor and doesn’t believe Superman killed Metallo. Luthor’s superheroes catch up and the fight begins anew, this time with Power Girl aiding Superman and Batman. The Dark Knight realizes that Major Force killed Metallo under Luthor’s orders and goads him into admitting it in front of everyone. In anger, Power Girl punches him in the stomach with so much force that it ruptures his containment suit. Captain Atom, ashamed at his complicity in Luthor’s misdeeds, absorbs the energy, disintegrating Major Force and injuring himself in the process.

Meanwhile, Luthor’s missiles fail to stop the meteor when the sheer amount of radiation being emitted by it detonates them before impact. Amanda Waller later discovers that Luthor has secretly been taking a serum composed of liquid kryptonite and Bane’s Venom since the last days of the presidential election campaign, making him lose whatever rationality he had left. Feeling disillusioned by his failure in destroying the meteor with his missiles, Luthor decides to let the meteor hit the Earth so that he may rule over what remains of society. Batman and Superman attempt to break into Luthor’s base of operations to retrieve data on the meteor’s radiation. They end up in battle with Captain Marvel and Hawkman, eventually emerging victorious with Power Girl’s (off-screen) aid. Though Luthor refuses to relinquish the data, going so far as to erase it from the lab computers, Waller gives them a copy, being disgusted with Luthor’s plans. Batman and Superman fly off to Tokyo to deliver the data on the meteor to the Japanese Toyman, who has already built a giant rocket-propelled spacecraft, intending to use it as a large missile to stop the meteor. Waller and the military then attempt to arrest Luthor, but he injects himself with more kryptonite/venom and dons a power suit. After escaping Waller and the military, Luthor follows Superman and Batman overseas.

After Batman and Superman arrive at Toyman’s base, he shows them the spacecraft, which resembles a giant, robotic composite version of Superman and Batman. With the data, Toyman is able to calculate the necessary reinforcements needed for his own rocket so it won’t explode before impact like Luthor’s missiles did. Unfortunately, the arriving Luthor neutralizes Power Girl, Superman and Batman, and then disables the rocket’s remote guidance systems so that it won’t take off by itself. Having no other choice, Batman decides to fly the rocket himself, despite Superman’s protests. Though initially faring poorly against Luthor and his kryptonite power suit, the rage over losing his best friend allows Superman to gain the upper hand, and after an aerial chase leading them all the way back to Metropolis, he defeats him in the streets there. Batman succeeds in destroying the meteor, and Superman finds him alive and well in an escape pod.

With the truth of Metallo’s death now public knowledge, Superman is cleared of the murder charge and Luthor is arrested and taken away to face trial and impeachment for his crimes. Batman then returns to Gotham while the Daily Planet’s star journalist, Lois Lane, arrives and happily embraces the Man of Steel.

This movie has multiple strikes against it, so I’m going strait to cons!

CONS:

• Heroes Fighting Other Heroes. That is a stupid plot device, heroes don’t always get along, but they’re smart enough to not slug it out in the streets. Not in this movie though!
• President Luthor. Who in their right mind would vote for a super villain?
• Kids Movie That’s Not For Kids. This didn’t need to be what it is. Take out the language and tone down the action, this is not a PG-13 movie, not with these God awful character designs.
• Lex Luthor Is CRAZY! He’s not supposed to be crazy you fucking morons! He’s a Goddamn businessman!
• Superman and Batman aren’t Superman and Batman: Clark Kent is a Pulitzer Prize winning Journalist! Bruce Wayne has multiple degrees in science and engineering and is a master detective! But why are they both acting like complete morons!
• This Toyman kid is irritating as hell!
• Power Girl is without motive in siding with Batman & Superman or Lex.
• You have LeVar Burton as Black Lightning, Geordie from Star Trek: TNG and the host of Reading Rainbow, and you only give him one line in the entire fucking movie!?? What the hell??
• The action is often pointless.
• Amanda Waller is wasted, utterly wasted!
• They made a boob joke about Power Girl… And they wouldn’t let a character actually say the word "boobs" … THIS IS PG-FUCKING-13!!! YOU DON’T NEED TO BE SO DAMN SHEEPISH ABOUT A WOMAN’S BREASTS FOR FUCK’S SAKE!

PROS:

• Tim Daly, Kevin Conroy, Clancy Brown, and CCH Pounder all give very good performances in this movie.
• Allison Mack, Chloe Sullivan from Smallville, does a pretty nice job as Power Girl.
• The opening credits sequence was pretty cool.
• The score was really good, although it reminded me a lot of the Mission Impossible theme.

Okay, so all that being said, I’m going to give this movie a 2.4 out of 10. I don’t give a damn what anyone says, this movie is worse that Batman Forever, Batman & Robin, Superman III, and Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, COMBINED! At least those are entertaining bad movies.

DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - Superman: Doomsday (2007)

Written In January 2014

Two things before we get into the review:

1. I have not yet read the Death of Superman story arc, but I am aware that this film deviates greatly from it. I may review this movie again on another day when I have read the book, but as of now, I will be reviewing this as it’s own stand alone film.
2. At one point in this movie we get a quick cameo from Kevin Smith where he makes a comment about Superman trashing a giant robotic spider, this is a little in-joke about how Kevin Smith was once hired to write a screenplay for the unproduced Superman movie, Superman Lives, which would’ve been produced by Jon Peters, directed by Tim Burton, and starred Nicholas Cage of all people as the titular Man of Steel. The guy even had a costume test!

Anybody else want to watch that movie, just to know how much a train wreck it would’ve been? Anywho, time to explain what the movie’s about.

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

The film opens with a narration by Lex Luthor (James Marsters), highlighted by images of Superman doing heroic deeds. Lex describes Superman as a god on Earth, but insists that “there comes a time when even gods must die.”

Lois Lane (Anne Heche) and Superman (Adam Baldwin) are romantically involved, but Lois is unsatisfied with the arrangements of their relationship. Superman insists that they keep it a secret from the public by limiting their encounters to the Fortress of Solitude, and he has not yet confided in her that he is actually Clark Kent, although she already suspects.

Workers from LexCorp unearth a spaceship while digging for one of Lex’s projects, inadvertently releasing a genetically-engineered supersoldier known as Doomsday. Doomsday kills the entire digging crew and begins a bloody rampage towards Metropolis. He kills a deer, a dog, the dog’s owner, and a truck driver (it is implied that other people fell victim to his homicidal fury, as well.) Superman meets the monster there and the two engage in a devastating cross-city battle. Superman ultimately kills Doomsday, but succumbs to his own injuries and dies in Lois’ arms.

The world collectively mourns their fallen hero, and Metropolis honors him with a memorial. Lex, having previously ordered his assistant Mercy Graves to cover up LexCorp’s involvement in releasing Doomsday, kills her to ensure that no one but he knows the truth. Superman’s friends cope with his death in various ways: Jimmy Olsen takes a job at a seedy tabloid newspaper called National Voyeur; Perry White becomes an alcoholic; and Lois visits Martha Kent for counsel.

In Superman’s absence, Metropolis is overwhelmed by emboldened criminals. At one point, Toyman uses a giant mechanical spider to hold a bus full of students hostage. Lois, still grieving, decides to get the children out on her own. As she does, Toyman tries to kill her and a little girl by throwing the bus over a building. As it happens, Superman apparently digs out of his grave, saves Lois, and apprehends Toyman. However, he does not seem quite the same, missing Lois’ apartment as he flies her home and acting surprised when she kisses him. She dismisses it as shock from his supposed “death”. When she receives a call from Martha wondering why Clark has not called home, Lois becomes suspicious.

The resurrected Superman is revealed to be a clone, created by Lex from a blood sample retrieved after Superman’s battle with Doomsday. As such, the clone’s knowledge is merely what Lex has programmed into him. Lex is keeping the real Superman’s body preserved in a tube for his personal amusement, unaware that Superman is still barely alive. He also periodically tortures the clone Superman in a special lead-lined red-sunlight room (to show the clone who is boss, and out of frustrated desire to have killed the real Superman). A robot from the Fortress of Solitude recovers the body and begins restoring Superman to health, a fact Luthor discovers when his surveillance monitors register a signal disruption of several seconds.

Meanwhile, the Superman clone’s attitude darkens when he hears about Toyman killing a four-year-old girl, and in retaliation kills Toyman as he is being escorted to jail. The city is stunned, and Lois suspects he is not Superman. The clone begins threatening the populace into abiding by the law, convinced that terror will prevent crime. The police can do nothing to stop him. Lois discovers Lex’s plan to clone Superman.

Upon returning to Lex, the clone is berated for his behavior. Lex orders him to find the real Superman’s corpse and threatens to kill him if he goes out of line again. Instead, the clone deduces the mechanism behind Lex’s threat — a lead-shielded kryptonite pellet in his brain — and removes it, then sets off to deal with Lex. At the same time, Lois discovers the true nature of the clone after tranquilizing Lex and searching his files with Jimmy’s help. She and Jimmy discover that Lex is cloning an army of Supermen. (Luthor’s cloning technology had undoubtably improved since the earlier attempt resulted in the creation of Bizarro). After Lex awakens and almost shoots them both, the original clone arrives. He saves Lois and Jimmy and destroys the cloning facility, killing all the yet-to-be- awakened clones. Unable to kill the clone, Lex tries to hide in the special room, hoping to lure him in, only to have the clone instead lock him inside and toss the entire room to the street. This latest presumed murder triggers military action. The military attempt to kill the Superman clone, but they fail as the entire force is eradicated by the clone’s heat vision alone.

The robot has revived Superman and has him undergo intensive rehabilitative exercises under concentrated solar energy to bring his power level back to max.

Hearing the news, the real Superman resolves to help, even though his powers are not yet fully restored. To improve his odds he dons a black sunlight-absorbing “Solar Suit” and brings a kryptonite gun (built by Lex Luthor) his robot retrieved from his archives. The two engage in a massive battle, with Superman’s kryptonite gun failing to hit the much faster clone. Jimmy and Lois grab the kryptonite gun to help Superman, though still unsure if he is the real deal or not. The fight culminates at Superman’s memorial, where Lois manages to hit the clone with a kryptonite blast. The clone destroys the gun, leaving only the kryptonite canister. As the two Supermen continue their battle, the canister sticks to the clone’s chest with mud, and Superman vaporizes it with his heat vision. The clone, overcome by the kryptonite vapor, falls under the memorial stone he was holding. Before dying, he tells Superman to protect the people. Lois is sure of the real Superman once he kisses her, and the crowd is similarly happy that Superman is back.

At Lois’ apartment, Superman sees that she misspelled “resurrection” in her article. He mentions winning a spelling bee at Smallville Elementary, revealing himself to be Clark Kent. Lois is caught off guard, but the two share a smile and she happily embraces him. At LexCorp, a critically injured but alive Lex narrates the ending, saying how history has proven that gods can die, but they can also return from the dead. He smiles to himself, musing that there may still be a way for him to destroy Superman.

Am I the only one who thinks that the ending was sequel baiting? I mean I don’t get the point of having Lex say “Maybe there’s a way to kill Superman and make him stay dead after all?” Especially not since this was the start of the DC Animated Original Films line, meaning that none of the movies would follow continuity with each other. With the exception of two pairs of movies, one of which was actually released with two different animation styles. That’s the one thing with this movie that genuinely leaves me scratching my head. Either way, let’s talk Pros and Cons.

PROS:

• Terrific casting all around!
• Adam Baldwin is great as both the good and bad Supermen, knowing him from playing Jayne on Firefly, a character who has far more in common with the likes of Lobo, it was very surprising to find that he could play such a kindly and noble figure. Great job voicing the big man big man.
• Anne Heche, the actress who plays Lois, does a lovely job as well! I wasn’t quite fond of her at first, she sounded a tad off to me, but as the movie went on she grew on me quite a bit!
• James Marsters as Lex Luthor! Oh man, this guy gave me the creeps big time! I haven’t seen Buffy and Angel, so I don’t know a ton about his character on there, but I know him from playing Brainiac on Smallville and boy was he good there. This guy is an amazing actor! I especially loved the one scene where he’s beating the crap out of Superman’s Clone and we don’t know that he’s a clone yet, and the language he uses it feels so deranged because it doesn’t sound like a typical villain gets the upper hand on the hero type dialogue, it sounds like an angry house wife yelling at their husband for walking out on them or something. *shivers* It’s like that bit with the Joker constantly calling Batman “darling” in The Dark Knight Returns.
• The action is fantastic, of course!
• There’s a scene where Lois goes to visit Martha in Smallville so they can grieve Clark together. I actually really like this, because the entire world only lost their hero. But Lois and Martha lost more than that, they lost someone they loved as a person. They lost a man who was so deeply important to them. It’s like, say, when a kid at your school commits suicide, and everyone in the building sort of mourns collectively, but it’s just that sort of sentiment of “Oh God, poor kid!” But there’s people who that poor kid might’ve been friends with, or they might’ve been some Teacher’s favorite student, or something. There’s people who just see a person who’s gone and are as sad as anyone else would be, but there’s also people who actually knew who this person was. What made them laugh, what made them cry, what made them happy, what made them sad or angry or anything else. And that’s who Martha and Lois were to Clark. Everyone else just lost Superman, but they lost a loved one.
• The final scene between the original Superman and the cloned Superman, the latter’s parting words to the former were asking him to protect the people. I really like this because it shows that the “evil” Superman wasn’t truly evil, Lex said it himself, he has all of Superman’s morals but not his mind. He was still trying to protect the innocent and the weak, and making sure that the bad people get their comeuppance. He just went about it in the wrong way. And he just wants to make sure now, that the real Superman will still continue doing what Superman does best. Stand up for Truth, Justice, and the American Way.
• I really dig the idea that Lex would be angry that someone else got Superman before him. He’s always wanted the Man of Tomorrow head on a platter, but he wants that platter served up by and for himself. He doesn’t want him beaten to death by some raging engine of destruction.
• The scene where Lois makes out with Lex disturbed me more than actually seeing Superman die, and that’s saying something.
• There’s a bit in the fight with Doomsday where Superman looks clearly exhausted, I really dig that because Superman is rarely put up against a foe who is actually better than him physically. It reminded me a bit of the fight between Batman and Bane in Dark Knight Rises, where the hero who’s used to be the toughest fucking guy in the room, realizes that he’s actually losing a fight for once. Come to think of it, that makes sense since Rises was partially based on Knightfall, which came out the same time as The Death of Superman.
• The final scene with Lois and Clark is classic Superman!

CONS:

• Jimmy Olsen is made a douche for some reason.
• There’s not a ton of evaluation of what’s happened by the end, nobody’s really critical of whether or not this Superman can be trusted after what’s just happened.
• You have Doomsday in this movie and yet there’s very little blood, why? You want the PG-13, go and grab it by the balls! Doomsday ain’t gonna make for a very bloodless movie folks.
• This one’s more nitpicky, but I don’t get the choice they made with how they showed Lex killing Mercy Graves. He takes out a gun, aims at her head, then we cut to outside the building with a wide shot of Lex’s office from the outside, we hear the gun shot, and see a bright light surrounding a silhouette of Lex pointing the gun and Mercy’s body falling. I don’t get why they chose to do it that way. Why not just close up Lex’s hand holding the gun, show his hand jerk slightly with a gunshot sound and then pan over to Lex’s face for his reaction.

For the start of a new project, Superman: Doomsday is a BOLD place to start. Bruce Timm and Company likely had no idea this would work out- Well, they probably figured it would, based on the sales of their previous direct-to-video animated flicks, but regardless, it was ballsy of them to say “Okay, what story should we base our first animated film NOT based on any of our shows? I KNOW! THE DEATH OF SUPERMAN! THAT’S A REALLY COOL ONE, RIGHT?” It was gonna be big, and it IS big. I’m gonna give it, an 8.5 out of 10!

DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - Superman: Braniac Attacks (2006)

Written In January 2014

 

So we’re back to Mystery of the Batwoman territory here, are we? We’re not gonna have another mature movie this time? Well, I guess I’ll have to wait for the next movie. Okay, time for the plot summary.

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen are sent to one of Lex Luthor’s laboratories after Brainiac arrives on Earth on a meteor, successfully dodging the attempts made by Luthor’s satellite to destroy any potential damage to the Earth (in an attempt to boost his popularity against Superman as the true hero of the people). Superman shortly arrives and finds Brainiac downloading data from the computers with information relating the various forms of weaponry from LexCorp, including the laser-equipped meteor shield that had attempted to destroy Brainiac earlier. Using his ice-breath, Superman is able to seemingly destroy Brainiac, after Superman and Brainiac had engaged in battle.

Witnessing the incident, and how his satellite could be used as an effective weapon against Superman, Luthor gathers a piece of Brainiac’s remains and takes it to LexCorp where Brainiac is revived. There, Luthor proposes that Brainiac, with the technology of LexCorp as well as Kryptonite, defeat Superman, and then Luthor step in to chase Brainiac away from the Earth, in front of the world to make him appear as Earth’s true hero, where he will then be free to conquer other planets. Brainiac accepts the agreement, and proceeds to rebuilding and improving himself.

Meanwhile, Clark Kent contemplates the idea of revealing his secret identity to Lois. The opportunity presents itself when editor, Perry White, due to staff shortages, send both Kent and Lane to review a restaurant in Metropolis. However, it is during this time that Brainiac returns. Among his improvements is the ability to track down Superman based on his DNA. After another fight between Superman and Brainiac, Superman has been significantly injured, and infected, by Brainiac’s power rays and Lois is injured in the process where it is revealed that her blood has been infected with a metallic-based poison, that if not treated would prove fatal.

Feeling guilty, Superman obtains a sample of Lois’ blood from the hospital and returns to the ‘Fortress of Solitude’ where he analyzes Lois’ blood using his Kryptonian technology. It is then when Superman discovers that the only cure for Lois’ condition is to obtain a chemical substance from the 'Phantom Zone’. However, Brainiac is able to locate Superman in his Antarctic retreat, and attempts to downloaded the information of Krypton from Superman’s computer. Superman then initiates a self-destruct sequence. Brainiac, not being able to locate Superman, presumes that he has been killed in the explosion. Superman had in fact gone into the Phantom Zone in order to find the chemical that would not only cure Lois and heal himself, but provide him with increased strength against Brainiac.

Brainiac returns to Metropolis where Luthor awaits in order to fulfill their agreement. Brainiac however, intends to kill Luthor in order to conquer Earth, and had even removed the self-destruct component that Luthor had planted should Brainiac double cross him. Returning to Metropolis, Superman and Brainiac fight. Superman seemingly defeats Brainiac and then returns to the hospital in order to cure the ailing Lois. However, Brainiac is able to destroy the chemical that would cure Lois, before Superman finally destroys Brainiac.

With the cure now destroyed, Lois faces certain death due to her illness. Superman, regretting never telling Lois his true feelings then embraces her. It is then that his tears, containing the chemical that had healed him earlier, makes contact with Lois, curing her. Later back in the arctic, Superman recovers a piece of his destroyed Kryptonian technology where he aims to rebuild his fortress. He then vows to quit his job at the Daily Planet in an attempt to prevent future harm to his loved ones, should any of his enemies discover his secret identity.

The film ends with Luthor facing criminal prosecution after the discovery of LexCorp’s involvement with Brainiac attack, and Lois Lane racing to cover the appearance of Mr. Mxyzptlk in Metroplois. Seeing Lois’ eagerness to put herself in harms way in order to cover a story, Superman goes back on his earlier decision to quit the Daily Planet so that he can be with Lois, as well as Metropolis’ protector against the most powerful threats from the universe.

First things first, this… Is a kiddie movie! While most of these movies have been rated PG, this is the first time we’re I truly felt this movie was not meant for someone my age. But regardless, let’s get to something to the stuff I liked and disliked.

PROS:

• Nice animation
• Dana Delany is Lois Lane, and she’s fantastic as usual!
• Good action
• Tim Daly 
• There’s a moment here where Jimmy Olsen and Perry White are talking at the Planet while Lois is in the hospital, Perry’s trying to get Jimmy to report on the Luthor dinner for him, and for a moment he seems distraught about Lois and what might happen to her and sounds like he might start crying. And Jimmy quickly tries to console him, and accepts his offer saying, “I’ll report anything you want me to, just not Miss Lane’s obid! Because she’s gonna be fine, ya hear me?” For one ever so brief and yet brilliantly shining moment, we see some maturity in this film. And I genuinely appreciated that.
• It’s not handled seriously, but when Superman goes to the fortress and Brainiac is about to absorb all it’s knowledge, Superman sets it to blow. Brainiac inquires why in horror, noting that all of Krypton’s knowledge will be lost. Superman replies, “Better lost, than abused!” This shows something that we don’t get to see that much. Superman genuinely treasures his alien heritage, and doesn’t want to see the knowledge of his people fall into the wrong hands. He’d rather the only piece of his planet that he has left, other than the very suit he wears, be destroyed than be used by someone like Brainiac.
• While Superman is searching for a way to save Lois, he says that nothing else matters but saving her. I hated this. BUT, later in the film, when returning from the Phantom Zone with the means to save her, the first thing he addresses is the ongoing destruction of Metropolis caused by Brainiac. This shows that as much as he may talk about the fact that he values loved ones over other innocent lives, Superman will still protect the people of Metropolis (and subsequently the Earth) before ever going to attend to the people he cares about most.
• There’s a scene where Superman seemingly defeats Brainiac during the final fight in Metropolis, but then it turns out he’s still alive. Superman then defeats Brainiac again, and makes sure to smash his hard drive. Because if Pacific Rim taught us anything, always check for a pulse!
• The ending scene where Lois takes off her hospital gown revealing she was wearing her reporter attire underneath it, and then running off to the scene of a crime being committed by Mr.Myxplyx, is so freaking Lois!
• There’s a scene where Clark decides to tell Lois he’s Superman, he doesn’t do so explicitly, but ala Christopher Reeve in Superman 2. He just changes HIS FREAKING POSTURE! And immediately Lois freaks out because she’s thinking “Oh! My! GOD! Is my coworker secretly the man I’ve openly fantasized about since God knows when!??!” This however, brings me to the cons…

CONS:

• Tim Daly is good in this movie, but he’s really let down by the direction.
• Powers Boothe’s Lex could’ve been great, but he was written to be so cartoony, not unlike Gene Hackman in the Christopher Reeve Superman movies.
• Brainiac is very poorly used.
• Clark chooses not to tell Lois he’s Superman because he claims he’s fearful of her safety, but honestly, I don’t buy. I think that after his hallucination in the Phantom Zone, he’s afraid Lois will try to pry him away from being a hero. Clark, it’s freaking Lois Lane! She’s not that damn shallow!
• Here’s what I don’t get with this movie; they kept the style from Superman: The Animated Series but they changed some of the cast… Why? Those voices were and are the only ones that come from those designs! You can argue for George Newbern as Superman in Justice League, but his voice for Superman (and his voice period really) is pretty close to Tim Daly’s. It just doesn’t make any real sense to change the cast if your going to keep the designs, and I really doubt Corey Burton and Clancy Brown (Brainiac and Lex in the DCAU respectively) weren’t too busy to be called, since they voice act for a living!
• This one I really hated, Superman visits Lois in the hospital after finally defeating Brainiac, and it turns out Lois has died, Superman revives her through a plot device I have always HATED. Tear Magic! Why do I hate it? Skip to about 10:00 of this link here.
  
  

So as you can tell by this point, other than a few points here and there, I really did not enjoy watching this movie. It’s not awful, and if you’re a parent, an older sibling, an elementary school teacher, or an older cousin, I really recommend putting this on for getting those little ones to shut up for about an hour and a half. But other than that, if you’re over 7 years old or just a die hard Superman fan, I’d say skip it. I might revisit this and write up a comparison to Superman: Unbound after I review that one, but for now, I’m avoiding this like the plague. It’s too kiddie!

And yes, all of these movies, with the possible exception of Return of the Joker and Vs. Dracula, were made for kids. But even then, you could definitely kick back and enjoy them if you were older than say, 8 to 14 years old. It’s like with most Pixar movies, kids are the target audience, but there’s a reason you keep coming back even after you’ve grown out of that audience. Because there’s clever and heartfelt, and never treated you as kids, like morons. And even then, the older you got, the better the movies got because you started noticing little details that you didn’t notice when you were younger. I’m not comparing, say, Mask of the Phantasm, to something like Monster’s Inc., but it’s that kind of effect. They were mature films intended for a younger audience. This movie, it’s not mature. It’s for little kids. It’s something like the Backyardigans on Nick Junior, you’re not going to enjoy it, because it’s not meant for you.

But with that being said, I did like some parts of it, so I won’t give it a Rotten. I’ll be giving it an even 6 out of 10.