The Modern Day Superman In Film Review Series - Superman Returns (2006)

Written In April 2014

Superman Returns is NOT a crappy movie. It’s arguably overlong, a little bit slow, a little bit boring at times, and does lack any truly great action sequences for a Superhero movie, but it does not lack good action, good performances, or interesting story elements. When I saw this movie in the Winter 2006 (because I never saw it theaters) I thought it was alright. I thought the scenes of Superman lifting things and letting bullets bounce off him were cool, ESPECIALLY this scene here

You can hate this entire damn movie if you want to, but that scene was fucking awesome! But, if I’m honest with myself, and if I’m honest with you, I won’t say I’m this movie’s biggest fan. I never really got why Bryan Singer decided this movie should be set in the modern day. Actually, apperently it’s not even in the modern day, it’s set TEN YEARS from it’s release date. Why? If you’re going to be a sequel to Richard Donner’s Superman and Superman II, go all the way! Pay Gene Hackman through the nose to come back as Lex! Get a lady who looks as much like Margot Kidder as Brandon Routh did Christopher Reeve and then have that lady play Lois! If the movie takes place five years after Superman II, make it take place in 1985! Make it like X-Men: First Class, period backdrops and setting, modern clothing. Instead, we have a movie that looks like 2006 because it came in 2006. We have an actress who looks nothing like Margot Kidder and acts nothing like her Lois Lane did. And we have Kevin Spacey playing a Lex Luthor who… At times plays it as goofy as Hackman did, but even then he’s playing it more wry and smart alecky, and at other times is far more aggressive and violent than Hackman’s ever was. And finally, is having Superman having a bastard child REALLY needed? Good God man. Anyway, let’s get into the plot so I can actually go further into this matter.

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

By 2016, Superman (Brandon Routh) has been missing for five years, since traveling to the location where astronomers believed they had discovered the remains of Krypton. During his absence, Superman’s nemesis, mad scientistLex Luthor (Kevin Spacey) was released from prison (due to Superman’s failure to appear at Lex’s trial) and married an old rich widow (Noel Neill) to obtain her fortune upon her death. Superman, having failed in his quest to find surviving Kryptonians, returns to Earth and, as Clark Kent, resumes his job at the Daily Planet in Metropolis. He subsequently learns that Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth) has won the Pulitzer Prizefor her article “Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman.” Meanwhile, Lex travels to the Fortress of Solitude and steals Kryptonian crystals, to use for an experiment that causes a mass power outage on the East Coast. The power loss interferes with the flight test of a space shuttle to be launched into space from its piggy-back mounting on an airliner, occupied by Lois Lane, who is covering the story. Clark flies into action as Superman and stops the plane from crashing onto a baseball stadium.

The world rejoices at Superman’s return, but he has difficulty coping with Lois’s fiancé, Richard White (James Marsden), nephew ofDaily Planet editor-in-chief Perry White (Frank Langella), and his 5-year-old son, Jason (Tristan Lake Leabu). With Superman distracted by an out-of-control vehicle, a diversion involving Lex’s partner-in-crime, Kitty Kowalski (Parker Posey), Lex stealskryptonite from the Metropolis Museum of Natural History. Perry then assigns Lois to interview Superman while Clark investigates the blackout. Lois and Jason inadvertently board Lex’s yacht and are captured after Lois decides to investigate the blackout story, which she connects to Luthor’s experiment. He reveals to them his latest scheme to grab land and power. By combining one of the stolen Kryptonian crystals with Kryptonite, Luthor can grow a new continental landmass in the Northern Atlantic Ocean, one that will cause sea levels to rise drastically and have Lex the opportunity to get revenge on Superman, as well as kill billions of people and afford him full control of the only available land for the survivors.

Noticing that Jason experiences a slight reaction to Kryptonite, Lex asks who Jason’s father really is; Lois asserts that the father is Richard. The crystal begins to create Lex’s new landmass, while Lois attempts to escape but is attacked by a henchman. Jason throws a piano at the henchman, killing him and proving that he is actually Superman’s son. Meanwhile, Superman is attempting to minimize the destruction in Metropolis caused by the growth of the new landmass when Richard arrives in a sea plane to rescue Lois and Jason from the sinking yacht. Superman soon arrives to help and then flies off to find Lex.

Meeting Lex, Superman discovers the landmass is filled with Kryptonite, which weakens him to the point that Lex and his henchmen are able to beat him. Lex stabs Superman with a shard of Kryptonite and pushes him into the ocean. Lois makes Richard turn back to rescue Superman, whereupon she removes the Kryptonite from his back. Superman, after regaining his strength from the sun, lifts the landmass after putting layers of earth between him and the Kryptonite. Lex and Kitty escape in their helicopter; Kitty, unwilling to let billions of people die, tosses away the crystals that Lex stole from the Fortress of Solitude. She and Luthor are stranded on a tiny desert island when their helicopter runs out of fuel. Superman pushes the landmass into space with the crystals trapped on the landmass, but is weakened by the Kryptonite and crashes back to Earth. At the hospital, doctors remove more Kryptonite from Superman’s wound, but their surgical tools and hospital machines are either damaged or destroyed when they try to revive him. While Superman remains in a coma, Lois and Jason visit him at the hospital where Lois whispers something into Superman’s ear and then kisses him. Superman later awakens and flies to visit Jason, reciting his father Jor-El’s (Marlon Brando) last speech to Jason as he sleeps. Lois starts writing another article, titled “Why the World Needs Superman”. Superman reassures her that he is now back to stay, and flies off to low orbit, where he gazes down at the world.

PROS:

• Brandon Routh as Superman. He does the best Christopher Reeve impersonation anybody ever could, I wish this movie had done better because he was terrific and is a terrific actor. His IMDb deserves to be longer.
• Kevin Spacey doesn’t play it the exact same way as Gene, and in my opinion, that’s an improvement! He’s terrific as Lex here! Especially, in the scene he stabs Supes in ribs and hisses “Now fly!” Very bitter, very evil, very awesome. Although I’ll admit, it was a little weird hearing him talking in his normal speaking voice after watching all 26 episodes of House of Cards, haha. Speaking of which, I won’t say they had a missed opportunity HERE, but I think he could’ve killed it in the Man of Steel sequel. But I, like Kevin, think Jesse is going to “f***ing own it!”
• I think between Kate Bosworth, Amy Adams, and Margot, Kate is probably the weakest Lois we’ve had on the big screen, but she’s far from bad. I think she works as this sort of working mother/businesswoman type of gal. I wouldn’t have called her, but obviously I’m not Bryan Singer, she was pretty good.
• Frank Langela kills it as the classic Perry White! Absolute pure perfection!
• Sam Huntington is also terrific as Jimmy Olsen! I especially love his first scene where Clark arrives back at the Planet and accidentally knocks his camera off the desk and only barely catches it. Jimmy objects to this (because it’s expensive as hell Clark! You superjerk!), without knowing who it is. So he turns to confront the douche who almost broke his camera, then upon seeing it’s old friend from work screams out “MR. CLARK!” then tries to fix it, because it’s improper to refer to his superior by his first name. That nothing short of fantastic!
• I’m not the biggest fan of James Marsden, I can’t really say why, there’s just something about the guy that gets on my nerves. But I liked his character here, especially in the scene where he asks Lois if she was ever in love with Superman. You can see it in his expression, he’s got a mixed curiosity. He’s in awe that his girlfriend may have at one time been Superman’s flame, but at the same time he feels kind of territorial because what guy has a fucking chance against someone like fucking Superman!
• The few scenes where Superman actually gets to use his powers are amazing! Especially the aforementioned bullet to the eye scene!
• The scene where Superman is dying on the hospital bed is very effective, especially when the doctors are trying to stick him with a needle, and the needle just bends against his skin. It was really heartbreaking and really begged the question, how do you care for an invincible man when that man becomes ill?
• If you’re a fan of really, really, really old Superman stuff, there’s a couple of terrific cameos in the movie! There’s a bit where the actor who played Jimmy Olsen, in the George Reeves series, cameos as the bartender where Clark and Sam Huntington’s Jimmy are drinking. And the elderly woman that Lex apparently seduced and married after being released from prison is actually played by the actress who portrayed Lois in the 1940’s serials and again in the George Reeves show. How cool is that?
• Parker Posey makes for a pretty fun Lex Girl, as Smallville once called it. I really love the scene where she’s screaming at Lex because the son of a bitch actually cut the breaks on the runaway car she was driving to distract Superman.
• The wonderful Eva Marie Saint makes good use of her few scenes as Martha Kent, real nice work ma'am!
• John Ottman does a terrific rendition of John Williams’s score, and even has some dazzling pieces of his own in the mix.

CONS:

• I don’t understand the point of Superman having an illegitimate son. I don’t understand why this child actor was cast, he’s the biggest deer in the headlights I’ve ever seen a child actor to be.
• The first Transformers movie was one year away at this time, Peter Jackson’s King Kong remake came out the year before. You could show off a character like Superman kicking some serious ass. And Bryan Singer isn’t a complete slouch when it comes to action movies, he did do the first two X-Men films. In fact, X2: X-Men United, has some of the best action ever presented in a Superhero movie in my opinion. So why the fuck would you not show off the fact that “Hey, this is a guy who can shoot beams of heat that are than the freaking sun and could punch a whole in the earth if he felt the need to, let’s show that off a little!” And the movie kind of does, but you never really get to see Superman cut loose! He never gets to see red, as Pa Kent put it in J. Michael Straczynski’s Superman: Earth One. I don’t get this.
• I said it before, and I’ll say it again, why make a sequel to a movie that came out in 1980 that takes place only five years after that movie, if you aren’t going to set in what would be five years after that movie! It doesn’t make any Goddamn sense!
• This movie looks less real at times than the 1978 movie. The overall aesthetic of the movie makes it looks so fake, hell, even Brandon himself at times looks fake! He looks like a digital creation instead of a real person against a digital backdrop. Whoever did his makeup and hair in the movie really did a poor job. Also, if you’re going to cast an actor with a different eye color than your character, leave it be. Any Harry Potter fans or Percy Jackson fans who are pissed they didn’t cast a green eyed actor for the title role, or at least didn’t try to give the Daniel Radcliffe and Logan Lerman color contacts, don’t be. Look at this picture here and tell if it looks natural. 
  Yeah. I rest my case.
• It doesn’t make a large amount of sense to cast so young for Lois and Clark. Brandon was 27 at the time the film was released, Kate was only 23! Christopher was 26 at the time the first Superman film was released, but here’s the difference, his Superman was only just arriving in Metropolis, while Brandon’s is returning to the city after being gone for FIVE YEARS! That means Clark was 21 when he left, and I don’t know of very many professional reporters under the age of 25, let alone only just became of legal drinking age in the US. And also, if Superman was only 21, that means Lois was 18 when they did the nasty. Which, while still legal age of consent, is kind of cutting it close guys. And furthermore, how many reporters got a job at EIGHTEEN! How many women could manage to have a job as a reporter, be a mother, and meet someone within the period of conception to be close enough to believe they were the father, and then stay with that person for five years and eventually be ENGAGED to, all before turning 25? I know Lois is basically the Superwoman to Clark’s Superman, but even this is re-Goddamn-diculous!
• I hate that A. Lois and Clark are written to be an extramarital affair. And that B. This movie continues the tradition, started by the Christopher Reeve series, that Lois loves Superman not Clark Kent, instead of loving both.
• This has been talked about to death, but it’s still a sticking point for me. Clark slept with Lois in the Fortress of Solitude in Superman II, then at the end of the movie when becomes Superman again, he erases her memory so she won’t have to take the pain of knowing who that she and Superman cannot be together. He erases all memory of them being together from the point where she first suspects Clark is Superman to the moment before he kissed her. That means she has NO MEMORY that she fucked Superman. So why the hell isn’t she outraged when she realizes her kid is Superman’s? Why doesn’t she walk strait up to the so-called Boy Scout and demand to know when they slept together and why she doesn’t remember? Why doesn’t she ask if he raped her and then somehow made her forget it? Singer, you just threw grenade at your audience, but I don’t think you expected them to throw it back at you! Because this thing just blew the fuck up in your face!

Okay, now despite my quibbles, I do like this movie. It’s not one of my favorite superhero movies, and it’s not really even my favorite DC Superhero movie or really my favorite just plain Superman movie. It’s a movie that has a lot of issues, but I’d rather come down on the side of supporting than damning it. I’m going to give Superman Returns a 6.2 out of 10.

Join me tomorrow, when I sink my teeth into the delicious feast I call

Boo-Yah!

DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - All-Star Superman (2010)

Written In January 2014

Wow, they really did cut a lot from this movie… So, am I the only one who wonders why these movies are all only 76 minutes or less? If you want to tell a long story, tell a long story! Go full on Return of the King for this movie! The fans think it deserves it and isn’t this movie for the fans? I mean who else really knew about All-Star Superman unless they were a die hard comic book superman fan! In fact, why split Dark Knight Returns into two 76 minute movies? Why not just go for one two and a half hour movie, if people see the movie is that bloody long, they might take it seriously and buy more copies. Everybody wins!

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

Dr. Leo Quintum and team are exploring the Sun when they are sabotaged by a booby-trapped genetically enhanced clone, turned into a time-bomb by Lex Luthor. Superman stops the clone but in doing so receives an overdose of solar radiation. Though the radiation is slowly killing him, it does give Superman new powers. Luthor, having orchestrated the death of Superman while under the employment of General Sam Lane, is arrested thanks to Clark Kent’s article and sentenced to death. Superman asks Dr. Quintim to keep news of his impending death secret from the public. Wanting to spend as much of his remaining time with Lois Lane, Superman reveals to her that he is Clark Kent. Lois doubts his revelation because she had been unable to prove Superman’s “Kent” identity herself. Superman takes her to the Fortress of Solitude. During this visit, Superman’s secretive behavior and her indirect exposure to alien chemicals heightens Lois’s paranoia.

She is startled by Robot 7, shooting it and then Superman with a kryptonite laser. The solar radiation having made him immune to green kryptonite, Superman is able to calm her, explaining his caginess was to hide her birthday present, a serum granting her superpowers for 24 hours. Now as aSuperwoman, she and Superman stop an attack by Subterraneans in Metropolis just as Samson and Atlas arrive. Samson flirts with Lois and gives her a necklace, the crown jewels of the Ultra-Sphinx. When Superman tells him to back off, he shows Superman a newspaper that reads “Superman Dead” and challenges Superman to contests to win Lois. The Ultra-Sphinx travels through time to reclaim the jewels Samson had stolen, placing Lois between life and death. Superman must answer an unanswerable question to save Lois. Superman then defeats Atlas and Samson in a double arm-wrestling match before spending the rest of the day with Lois as her powers fade.

Later, Kent meets Luthor for an exclusive interview at Stryker’s Island. However, Superman’s energy allows the Parasite to free himself and cause havoc in the prison. Clark stops him while not revealing his secret identity, with Luthor disclosing his respect for Clark as both a journalist and a man. Luthor then reveals a tunnel from his cell for Clark to escape through, aided by Nasthalthia, Luthor’s delinquent niece. Luthor chooses not to escape as the satisfaction of outliving Superman is rewarding enough. Weeks later, after taking the city of Kandor to a new planet to thrive, Superman returns to find Metropolis has been repaired with Kryptonian architecture and that Earth has been protected by Bar-El and Lilo, lost astronauts from Krypton. They followed the trail of the vessel that brought Superman to Earth. To his dismay, the two have less altruistic goals and intend to turn Earth into a new Krypton. As they fight Superman, Bar-El and Lilo begin showing signs of illness: the two had passed through the remnants of Krypton and thus were saturated with kryptonite. To save them and at their request, Superman places the two in the Phantom Zone until a cure can be found.

After settling his affairs, Superman proceeds to finish his last will and testament. Luthor reprogrammed one of the Fortress' robots to steal the serum he made for Lois’ birthday. Having the powers of Superman, Luthors’ electrocution failed and he escapes, unfettered. He meets with Nasthalthia below one of his lairs to continue his plans. Superman finishes his will when he learns of Luthor’s secret ally: Solaris, the tyrant star computer, which betrayed Luthor by tampering with Earth’s sun and turned it blue. With his robots, Superman engages Solaris in space. All seems lost until Superman’s pet Sun-Eater sacrifices itself to weaken the tyrant star, which allows Superman to destroy Solaris.

Clark returns to the Daily Planet, very ill, and dies upon completing his article. As the staff tries to save him, the super-powered Luthor arrives and attempts to kill Lois. Clark revives and fires a gravity gun at Luthor. Superman tells Luthor he has been on to him ever since Robot-7 first malfunctioned. As his powers fade, Luthor briefly sees the world as Superman sees it and weeps as he gains a measure of understanding of the subatomic and how it interconnects. The gravity weapon has warped time causing Luthor’s powers to burn out at a faster rate. As his powers drain, Luthor wishes the experience to continue. He believes he can solve the grand unification theory but when he reaches for his next vial of serum, he realizes that Superman has stolen his supply. Superman then destroys the serum, over Luthor’s protests, pointing out that if Luthor truly cared about solving the world’s problems, he would have done so long ago.

With Superman’s body starting to turn into pure energy, he and Lois embrace one final time and he proclaims his love for her once and for all. He flies into the Sun, seemingly sacrificing himself to save the Earth. Later, when Lois sits on bench in front of a statue of Superman, Jimmy invites her to attend a memorial service being held for Superman. Lois does not go as she believes Superman is not dead and will return after he repairs the sun. Quintum visits Luthor in his death row cell. Now enlightened from his ordeal and accepting his impending death, Luthor presents Quintum with the only thing that could redeem him for his actions over the years, a formula to recreate Superman’s genetic structure through a healthy human embryo. The movie ends with a picture of Superman fixing the sun and a voice says he will come back after fixing the sun.

So the last time we reviewed a solo Superman movie, I admitted that I hadn’t read the source material, well this time around I have read this book… And I don’t like it. I think it’s a mess with great artwork that has some interesting ideas and some nice quotes, but unfortunately Grant Morrison doesn’t seem to know how to tell a focused story. The first chapter of this story starts with Lex making it so that Superman has cancer, and then promptly does absolutely nothing with it for 10 chapters, then comes October of ‘08, almost three years after the first chapter and says “Oh golly gee, I’m dying! I’d better make sure the sun doesn’t die.” Why do we need to see Superman besting Samson and Atlas? Why do we need to see Clark Kent interviewing Lex Luthor in prison while Parasite tries to kill everyone in the building? Why do we need to see him trying to escape the square bizarro planet? Why do we need to see these two Kryptonian scientists be dicks to Earth only to randomly start dying so Superman can show them the error of their ways?

Now what we needed more of, was Superman telling Lois he’s Clark Kent and taking on the best date of her life on her birthday no less! Clark going back in time to say goodbye to his father one last time. Superman simultaneously frees Kandor AND CURES CANCER! These are things the story needs more of, not Superman being tested. We already know he’s the best, and we already know he’s the greatest. We don’t need to be shown that’s he’s super strong, super powerful or super smart. We need to show why the world is going to miss him so terribly once he’s gone. But instead, we’re shown everything we DON’T need to know. But enough about that comic, let’s talk about this movie.

PROS:

• Christina Hendricks is a wonderful Lois Lane!
• James Denton is a pretty good Superman!
• MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER AS JIMMY OLSEN! PER-FUCKING-FECTION!!!!!!
• I don't know who Anthony LaPaglia as Lex Luthor, but he did a pretty nice job!
• Really great animation!
• Ed Asner as Perry White, fantastic casting!
• Christopher Drake has another great score for this one!

CONS:

• They cut out the bit with Pa Kent, curing cancer and the Bizarro world, which are some of my favorite parts of the book, but for some reason left in the sequence at Ryker’s and the stuff with Samson and Atlas.
• Speaking of Samson and Atlas, these are some of the most generic and unentertaing performances I’ve ever heard by John DiMaggio and Steve Blum, shame on you movie!
• I think Christina does a great job as Lois, but I hate the Lois she’s written for. The fact that she completely disbelieves that Superman is Clark AFTER HE FUCKING TOLD HER always rubbed me the wrong way.
• This Lex rubs me from the wrong way too, definitely the more “I’m crazy and I hate Superman because he’s a good! GRAH!!!!!” variety. Not a terribly huge fan of that type of Lex.

All in all I don’t have a ton to say about this movie, it’s not awful, but I don’t think it’s good either. I’m going to give All-Star Superman, an extremely apathetic, 6 out of 10.

DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - Superman: Braniac Attacks (2006)

Written In January 2014

 

So we’re back to Mystery of the Batwoman territory here, are we? We’re not gonna have another mature movie this time? Well, I guess I’ll have to wait for the next movie. Okay, time for the plot summary.

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen are sent to one of Lex Luthor’s laboratories after Brainiac arrives on Earth on a meteor, successfully dodging the attempts made by Luthor’s satellite to destroy any potential damage to the Earth (in an attempt to boost his popularity against Superman as the true hero of the people). Superman shortly arrives and finds Brainiac downloading data from the computers with information relating the various forms of weaponry from LexCorp, including the laser-equipped meteor shield that had attempted to destroy Brainiac earlier. Using his ice-breath, Superman is able to seemingly destroy Brainiac, after Superman and Brainiac had engaged in battle.

Witnessing the incident, and how his satellite could be used as an effective weapon against Superman, Luthor gathers a piece of Brainiac’s remains and takes it to LexCorp where Brainiac is revived. There, Luthor proposes that Brainiac, with the technology of LexCorp as well as Kryptonite, defeat Superman, and then Luthor step in to chase Brainiac away from the Earth, in front of the world to make him appear as Earth’s true hero, where he will then be free to conquer other planets. Brainiac accepts the agreement, and proceeds to rebuilding and improving himself.

Meanwhile, Clark Kent contemplates the idea of revealing his secret identity to Lois. The opportunity presents itself when editor, Perry White, due to staff shortages, send both Kent and Lane to review a restaurant in Metropolis. However, it is during this time that Brainiac returns. Among his improvements is the ability to track down Superman based on his DNA. After another fight between Superman and Brainiac, Superman has been significantly injured, and infected, by Brainiac’s power rays and Lois is injured in the process where it is revealed that her blood has been infected with a metallic-based poison, that if not treated would prove fatal.

Feeling guilty, Superman obtains a sample of Lois’ blood from the hospital and returns to the ‘Fortress of Solitude’ where he analyzes Lois’ blood using his Kryptonian technology. It is then when Superman discovers that the only cure for Lois’ condition is to obtain a chemical substance from the 'Phantom Zone’. However, Brainiac is able to locate Superman in his Antarctic retreat, and attempts to downloaded the information of Krypton from Superman’s computer. Superman then initiates a self-destruct sequence. Brainiac, not being able to locate Superman, presumes that he has been killed in the explosion. Superman had in fact gone into the Phantom Zone in order to find the chemical that would not only cure Lois and heal himself, but provide him with increased strength against Brainiac.

Brainiac returns to Metropolis where Luthor awaits in order to fulfill their agreement. Brainiac however, intends to kill Luthor in order to conquer Earth, and had even removed the self-destruct component that Luthor had planted should Brainiac double cross him. Returning to Metropolis, Superman and Brainiac fight. Superman seemingly defeats Brainiac and then returns to the hospital in order to cure the ailing Lois. However, Brainiac is able to destroy the chemical that would cure Lois, before Superman finally destroys Brainiac.

With the cure now destroyed, Lois faces certain death due to her illness. Superman, regretting never telling Lois his true feelings then embraces her. It is then that his tears, containing the chemical that had healed him earlier, makes contact with Lois, curing her. Later back in the arctic, Superman recovers a piece of his destroyed Kryptonian technology where he aims to rebuild his fortress. He then vows to quit his job at the Daily Planet in an attempt to prevent future harm to his loved ones, should any of his enemies discover his secret identity.

The film ends with Luthor facing criminal prosecution after the discovery of LexCorp’s involvement with Brainiac attack, and Lois Lane racing to cover the appearance of Mr. Mxyzptlk in Metroplois. Seeing Lois’ eagerness to put herself in harms way in order to cover a story, Superman goes back on his earlier decision to quit the Daily Planet so that he can be with Lois, as well as Metropolis’ protector against the most powerful threats from the universe.

First things first, this… Is a kiddie movie! While most of these movies have been rated PG, this is the first time we’re I truly felt this movie was not meant for someone my age. But regardless, let’s get to something to the stuff I liked and disliked.

PROS:

• Nice animation
• Dana Delany is Lois Lane, and she’s fantastic as usual!
• Good action
• Tim Daly 
• There’s a moment here where Jimmy Olsen and Perry White are talking at the Planet while Lois is in the hospital, Perry’s trying to get Jimmy to report on the Luthor dinner for him, and for a moment he seems distraught about Lois and what might happen to her and sounds like he might start crying. And Jimmy quickly tries to console him, and accepts his offer saying, “I’ll report anything you want me to, just not Miss Lane’s obid! Because she’s gonna be fine, ya hear me?” For one ever so brief and yet brilliantly shining moment, we see some maturity in this film. And I genuinely appreciated that.
• It’s not handled seriously, but when Superman goes to the fortress and Brainiac is about to absorb all it’s knowledge, Superman sets it to blow. Brainiac inquires why in horror, noting that all of Krypton’s knowledge will be lost. Superman replies, “Better lost, than abused!” This shows something that we don’t get to see that much. Superman genuinely treasures his alien heritage, and doesn’t want to see the knowledge of his people fall into the wrong hands. He’d rather the only piece of his planet that he has left, other than the very suit he wears, be destroyed than be used by someone like Brainiac.
• While Superman is searching for a way to save Lois, he says that nothing else matters but saving her. I hated this. BUT, later in the film, when returning from the Phantom Zone with the means to save her, the first thing he addresses is the ongoing destruction of Metropolis caused by Brainiac. This shows that as much as he may talk about the fact that he values loved ones over other innocent lives, Superman will still protect the people of Metropolis (and subsequently the Earth) before ever going to attend to the people he cares about most.
• There’s a scene where Superman seemingly defeats Brainiac during the final fight in Metropolis, but then it turns out he’s still alive. Superman then defeats Brainiac again, and makes sure to smash his hard drive. Because if Pacific Rim taught us anything, always check for a pulse!
• The ending scene where Lois takes off her hospital gown revealing she was wearing her reporter attire underneath it, and then running off to the scene of a crime being committed by Mr.Myxplyx, is so freaking Lois!
• There’s a scene where Clark decides to tell Lois he’s Superman, he doesn’t do so explicitly, but ala Christopher Reeve in Superman 2. He just changes HIS FREAKING POSTURE! And immediately Lois freaks out because she’s thinking “Oh! My! GOD! Is my coworker secretly the man I’ve openly fantasized about since God knows when!??!” This however, brings me to the cons…

CONS:

• Tim Daly is good in this movie, but he’s really let down by the direction.
• Powers Boothe’s Lex could’ve been great, but he was written to be so cartoony, not unlike Gene Hackman in the Christopher Reeve Superman movies.
• Brainiac is very poorly used.
• Clark chooses not to tell Lois he’s Superman because he claims he’s fearful of her safety, but honestly, I don’t buy. I think that after his hallucination in the Phantom Zone, he’s afraid Lois will try to pry him away from being a hero. Clark, it’s freaking Lois Lane! She’s not that damn shallow!
• Here’s what I don’t get with this movie; they kept the style from Superman: The Animated Series but they changed some of the cast… Why? Those voices were and are the only ones that come from those designs! You can argue for George Newbern as Superman in Justice League, but his voice for Superman (and his voice period really) is pretty close to Tim Daly’s. It just doesn’t make any real sense to change the cast if your going to keep the designs, and I really doubt Corey Burton and Clancy Brown (Brainiac and Lex in the DCAU respectively) weren’t too busy to be called, since they voice act for a living!
• This one I really hated, Superman visits Lois in the hospital after finally defeating Brainiac, and it turns out Lois has died, Superman revives her through a plot device I have always HATED. Tear Magic! Why do I hate it? Skip to about 10:00 of this link here.
  
  

So as you can tell by this point, other than a few points here and there, I really did not enjoy watching this movie. It’s not awful, and if you’re a parent, an older sibling, an elementary school teacher, or an older cousin, I really recommend putting this on for getting those little ones to shut up for about an hour and a half. But other than that, if you’re over 7 years old or just a die hard Superman fan, I’d say skip it. I might revisit this and write up a comparison to Superman: Unbound after I review that one, but for now, I’m avoiding this like the plague. It’s too kiddie!

And yes, all of these movies, with the possible exception of Return of the Joker and Vs. Dracula, were made for kids. But even then, you could definitely kick back and enjoy them if you were older than say, 8 to 14 years old. It’s like with most Pixar movies, kids are the target audience, but there’s a reason you keep coming back even after you’ve grown out of that audience. Because there’s clever and heartfelt, and never treated you as kids, like morons. And even then, the older you got, the better the movies got because you started noticing little details that you didn’t notice when you were younger. I’m not comparing, say, Mask of the Phantasm, to something like Monster’s Inc., but it’s that kind of effect. They were mature films intended for a younger audience. This movie, it’s not mature. It’s for little kids. It’s something like the Backyardigans on Nick Junior, you’re not going to enjoy it, because it’s not meant for you.

But with that being said, I did like some parts of it, so I won’t give it a Rotten. I’ll be giving it an even 6 out of 10.