The Modern Day Superman In Film Review Series - Superman Returns (2006)

Written In April 2014

Superman Returns is NOT a crappy movie. It’s arguably overlong, a little bit slow, a little bit boring at times, and does lack any truly great action sequences for a Superhero movie, but it does not lack good action, good performances, or interesting story elements. When I saw this movie in the Winter 2006 (because I never saw it theaters) I thought it was alright. I thought the scenes of Superman lifting things and letting bullets bounce off him were cool, ESPECIALLY this scene here

You can hate this entire damn movie if you want to, but that scene was fucking awesome! But, if I’m honest with myself, and if I’m honest with you, I won’t say I’m this movie’s biggest fan. I never really got why Bryan Singer decided this movie should be set in the modern day. Actually, apperently it’s not even in the modern day, it’s set TEN YEARS from it’s release date. Why? If you’re going to be a sequel to Richard Donner’s Superman and Superman II, go all the way! Pay Gene Hackman through the nose to come back as Lex! Get a lady who looks as much like Margot Kidder as Brandon Routh did Christopher Reeve and then have that lady play Lois! If the movie takes place five years after Superman II, make it take place in 1985! Make it like X-Men: First Class, period backdrops and setting, modern clothing. Instead, we have a movie that looks like 2006 because it came in 2006. We have an actress who looks nothing like Margot Kidder and acts nothing like her Lois Lane did. And we have Kevin Spacey playing a Lex Luthor who… At times plays it as goofy as Hackman did, but even then he’s playing it more wry and smart alecky, and at other times is far more aggressive and violent than Hackman’s ever was. And finally, is having Superman having a bastard child REALLY needed? Good God man. Anyway, let’s get into the plot so I can actually go further into this matter.

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

By 2016, Superman (Brandon Routh) has been missing for five years, since traveling to the location where astronomers believed they had discovered the remains of Krypton. During his absence, Superman’s nemesis, mad scientistLex Luthor (Kevin Spacey) was released from prison (due to Superman’s failure to appear at Lex’s trial) and married an old rich widow (Noel Neill) to obtain her fortune upon her death. Superman, having failed in his quest to find surviving Kryptonians, returns to Earth and, as Clark Kent, resumes his job at the Daily Planet in Metropolis. He subsequently learns that Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth) has won the Pulitzer Prizefor her article “Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman.” Meanwhile, Lex travels to the Fortress of Solitude and steals Kryptonian crystals, to use for an experiment that causes a mass power outage on the East Coast. The power loss interferes with the flight test of a space shuttle to be launched into space from its piggy-back mounting on an airliner, occupied by Lois Lane, who is covering the story. Clark flies into action as Superman and stops the plane from crashing onto a baseball stadium.

The world rejoices at Superman’s return, but he has difficulty coping with Lois’s fiancé, Richard White (James Marsden), nephew ofDaily Planet editor-in-chief Perry White (Frank Langella), and his 5-year-old son, Jason (Tristan Lake Leabu). With Superman distracted by an out-of-control vehicle, a diversion involving Lex’s partner-in-crime, Kitty Kowalski (Parker Posey), Lex stealskryptonite from the Metropolis Museum of Natural History. Perry then assigns Lois to interview Superman while Clark investigates the blackout. Lois and Jason inadvertently board Lex’s yacht and are captured after Lois decides to investigate the blackout story, which she connects to Luthor’s experiment. He reveals to them his latest scheme to grab land and power. By combining one of the stolen Kryptonian crystals with Kryptonite, Luthor can grow a new continental landmass in the Northern Atlantic Ocean, one that will cause sea levels to rise drastically and have Lex the opportunity to get revenge on Superman, as well as kill billions of people and afford him full control of the only available land for the survivors.

Noticing that Jason experiences a slight reaction to Kryptonite, Lex asks who Jason’s father really is; Lois asserts that the father is Richard. The crystal begins to create Lex’s new landmass, while Lois attempts to escape but is attacked by a henchman. Jason throws a piano at the henchman, killing him and proving that he is actually Superman’s son. Meanwhile, Superman is attempting to minimize the destruction in Metropolis caused by the growth of the new landmass when Richard arrives in a sea plane to rescue Lois and Jason from the sinking yacht. Superman soon arrives to help and then flies off to find Lex.

Meeting Lex, Superman discovers the landmass is filled with Kryptonite, which weakens him to the point that Lex and his henchmen are able to beat him. Lex stabs Superman with a shard of Kryptonite and pushes him into the ocean. Lois makes Richard turn back to rescue Superman, whereupon she removes the Kryptonite from his back. Superman, after regaining his strength from the sun, lifts the landmass after putting layers of earth between him and the Kryptonite. Lex and Kitty escape in their helicopter; Kitty, unwilling to let billions of people die, tosses away the crystals that Lex stole from the Fortress of Solitude. She and Luthor are stranded on a tiny desert island when their helicopter runs out of fuel. Superman pushes the landmass into space with the crystals trapped on the landmass, but is weakened by the Kryptonite and crashes back to Earth. At the hospital, doctors remove more Kryptonite from Superman’s wound, but their surgical tools and hospital machines are either damaged or destroyed when they try to revive him. While Superman remains in a coma, Lois and Jason visit him at the hospital where Lois whispers something into Superman’s ear and then kisses him. Superman later awakens and flies to visit Jason, reciting his father Jor-El’s (Marlon Brando) last speech to Jason as he sleeps. Lois starts writing another article, titled “Why the World Needs Superman”. Superman reassures her that he is now back to stay, and flies off to low orbit, where he gazes down at the world.

PROS:

• Brandon Routh as Superman. He does the best Christopher Reeve impersonation anybody ever could, I wish this movie had done better because he was terrific and is a terrific actor. His IMDb deserves to be longer.
• Kevin Spacey doesn’t play it the exact same way as Gene, and in my opinion, that’s an improvement! He’s terrific as Lex here! Especially, in the scene he stabs Supes in ribs and hisses “Now fly!” Very bitter, very evil, very awesome. Although I’ll admit, it was a little weird hearing him talking in his normal speaking voice after watching all 26 episodes of House of Cards, haha. Speaking of which, I won’t say they had a missed opportunity HERE, but I think he could’ve killed it in the Man of Steel sequel. But I, like Kevin, think Jesse is going to “f***ing own it!”
• I think between Kate Bosworth, Amy Adams, and Margot, Kate is probably the weakest Lois we’ve had on the big screen, but she’s far from bad. I think she works as this sort of working mother/businesswoman type of gal. I wouldn’t have called her, but obviously I’m not Bryan Singer, she was pretty good.
• Frank Langela kills it as the classic Perry White! Absolute pure perfection!
• Sam Huntington is also terrific as Jimmy Olsen! I especially love his first scene where Clark arrives back at the Planet and accidentally knocks his camera off the desk and only barely catches it. Jimmy objects to this (because it’s expensive as hell Clark! You superjerk!), without knowing who it is. So he turns to confront the douche who almost broke his camera, then upon seeing it’s old friend from work screams out “MR. CLARK!” then tries to fix it, because it’s improper to refer to his superior by his first name. That nothing short of fantastic!
• I’m not the biggest fan of James Marsden, I can’t really say why, there’s just something about the guy that gets on my nerves. But I liked his character here, especially in the scene where he asks Lois if she was ever in love with Superman. You can see it in his expression, he’s got a mixed curiosity. He’s in awe that his girlfriend may have at one time been Superman’s flame, but at the same time he feels kind of territorial because what guy has a fucking chance against someone like fucking Superman!
• The few scenes where Superman actually gets to use his powers are amazing! Especially the aforementioned bullet to the eye scene!
• The scene where Superman is dying on the hospital bed is very effective, especially when the doctors are trying to stick him with a needle, and the needle just bends against his skin. It was really heartbreaking and really begged the question, how do you care for an invincible man when that man becomes ill?
• If you’re a fan of really, really, really old Superman stuff, there’s a couple of terrific cameos in the movie! There’s a bit where the actor who played Jimmy Olsen, in the George Reeves series, cameos as the bartender where Clark and Sam Huntington’s Jimmy are drinking. And the elderly woman that Lex apparently seduced and married after being released from prison is actually played by the actress who portrayed Lois in the 1940’s serials and again in the George Reeves show. How cool is that?
• Parker Posey makes for a pretty fun Lex Girl, as Smallville once called it. I really love the scene where she’s screaming at Lex because the son of a bitch actually cut the breaks on the runaway car she was driving to distract Superman.
• The wonderful Eva Marie Saint makes good use of her few scenes as Martha Kent, real nice work ma'am!
• John Ottman does a terrific rendition of John Williams’s score, and even has some dazzling pieces of his own in the mix.

CONS:

• I don’t understand the point of Superman having an illegitimate son. I don’t understand why this child actor was cast, he’s the biggest deer in the headlights I’ve ever seen a child actor to be.
• The first Transformers movie was one year away at this time, Peter Jackson’s King Kong remake came out the year before. You could show off a character like Superman kicking some serious ass. And Bryan Singer isn’t a complete slouch when it comes to action movies, he did do the first two X-Men films. In fact, X2: X-Men United, has some of the best action ever presented in a Superhero movie in my opinion. So why the fuck would you not show off the fact that “Hey, this is a guy who can shoot beams of heat that are than the freaking sun and could punch a whole in the earth if he felt the need to, let’s show that off a little!” And the movie kind of does, but you never really get to see Superman cut loose! He never gets to see red, as Pa Kent put it in J. Michael Straczynski’s Superman: Earth One. I don’t get this.
• I said it before, and I’ll say it again, why make a sequel to a movie that came out in 1980 that takes place only five years after that movie, if you aren’t going to set in what would be five years after that movie! It doesn’t make any Goddamn sense!
• This movie looks less real at times than the 1978 movie. The overall aesthetic of the movie makes it looks so fake, hell, even Brandon himself at times looks fake! He looks like a digital creation instead of a real person against a digital backdrop. Whoever did his makeup and hair in the movie really did a poor job. Also, if you’re going to cast an actor with a different eye color than your character, leave it be. Any Harry Potter fans or Percy Jackson fans who are pissed they didn’t cast a green eyed actor for the title role, or at least didn’t try to give the Daniel Radcliffe and Logan Lerman color contacts, don’t be. Look at this picture here and tell if it looks natural. 
  Yeah. I rest my case.
• It doesn’t make a large amount of sense to cast so young for Lois and Clark. Brandon was 27 at the time the film was released, Kate was only 23! Christopher was 26 at the time the first Superman film was released, but here’s the difference, his Superman was only just arriving in Metropolis, while Brandon’s is returning to the city after being gone for FIVE YEARS! That means Clark was 21 when he left, and I don’t know of very many professional reporters under the age of 25, let alone only just became of legal drinking age in the US. And also, if Superman was only 21, that means Lois was 18 when they did the nasty. Which, while still legal age of consent, is kind of cutting it close guys. And furthermore, how many reporters got a job at EIGHTEEN! How many women could manage to have a job as a reporter, be a mother, and meet someone within the period of conception to be close enough to believe they were the father, and then stay with that person for five years and eventually be ENGAGED to, all before turning 25? I know Lois is basically the Superwoman to Clark’s Superman, but even this is re-Goddamn-diculous!
• I hate that A. Lois and Clark are written to be an extramarital affair. And that B. This movie continues the tradition, started by the Christopher Reeve series, that Lois loves Superman not Clark Kent, instead of loving both.
• This has been talked about to death, but it’s still a sticking point for me. Clark slept with Lois in the Fortress of Solitude in Superman II, then at the end of the movie when becomes Superman again, he erases her memory so she won’t have to take the pain of knowing who that she and Superman cannot be together. He erases all memory of them being together from the point where she first suspects Clark is Superman to the moment before he kissed her. That means she has NO MEMORY that she fucked Superman. So why the hell isn’t she outraged when she realizes her kid is Superman’s? Why doesn’t she walk strait up to the so-called Boy Scout and demand to know when they slept together and why she doesn’t remember? Why doesn’t she ask if he raped her and then somehow made her forget it? Singer, you just threw grenade at your audience, but I don’t think you expected them to throw it back at you! Because this thing just blew the fuck up in your face!

Okay, now despite my quibbles, I do like this movie. It’s not one of my favorite superhero movies, and it’s not really even my favorite DC Superhero movie or really my favorite just plain Superman movie. It’s a movie that has a lot of issues, but I’d rather come down on the side of supporting than damning it. I’m going to give Superman Returns a 6.2 out of 10.

Join me tomorrow, when I sink my teeth into the delicious feast I call

Boo-Yah!

The Modern Day Superman In Film Review Series - Man Of Steel (2013)

Written In April 2014

“Superman murdered Zod!”

“Superman destroyed Metropolis!”

“This movie had too much action!”

“Zack Snyder is a fucking hack!”

“Man Of Steel’s Superman didn’t care about people!”

What part of

are you idiots not getting?

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

The planet Krypton faces imminent destruction due to its unstable core, the result of depleting Krypton’s natural resources. The ruling council is deposed by the planet’s military commander General Zod and his followers during a coup d’état. Knowing that the use of artificial population control has ruined their civilization, scientist Jor-El and his wife Lara launch their newborn son Kal-El, the first naturally born Kryptonian child in centuries, on a spacecraft to Earth after infusing his cells with a genetic codex of the entireKryptonian race. After General Zod kills Jor-El, he and his followers are captured and exiled to the Phantom Zone. However, they are indirectly freed after Krypton explodes.

Kal-El’s ship lands in Smallville, a small town in Kansas. He is raised as the adopted son of Jonathan and Martha Kent, who name himClark. Clark’s Kryptonian physiology affords him superhuman abilities on Earth, which initially cause him confusion and ridicule. He gradually learns to harness his powers and uses them to help others. After revealing to a teenage Clark that he is an alien, Jonathan warns him not to use his powers in public out of concern that he will be rejected by society. After Jonathan’s death, an adult Clark spends several years living a nomadic lifestyle, working different jobs under false identities, anonymously performing good deeds, and struggling to cope with the loss of his adoptive father.

Clark eventually infiltrates a U.S. military investigation of a Kryptonian scout spaceship in the Arctic. When Clark enters the alien ship, he uses a Kryptonian “control-key” from the ship that brought him to Earth, which allows him to communicate with the preserved consciousness of Jor-El in the form of ahologram. Jor-El reveals Clark’s origins, the extinction of his race, and tells Clark that he was sent to Earth to bring hope to mankind for a better future. Lois Lane, a journalist from the Daily Planet newspaper who was sent to write a story on the discovery, sneaks inside the ship while following Clark and is rescued by him when she is injured by its security system. Lois’s editor Perry White rejects her story of a “superhuman” rescuer, so she traces Clark back to Kansas with the intention of writing an exposé. After hearing his story, she decides not to reveal his secret.

Meanwhile, Zod and his crew seek out other worlds that the Kryptonian race colonized long ago, only to find out that none of the outposts survived after Krypton abandoned them. Zod and the others eventually pick up a Kryptonian distress signal sent from the ship Clark discovered on Earth. Zod arrives and demands that the humans surrender Kal-El, whom he believes has the codex, or else Earth will be destroyed. Clark accepts, and the military hand him and Lois over to Zod’s second-in-command, Faora, at Zod’s request. Zod reveals that he intends to use a terraforming ”world engine” to transform Earth into a new Krypton and use the codex to repopulate the planet with genetically-engineeredKryptonians, killing all of Earth’s indigenous life in the process. Clark and Lois escape Zod’s ship with Jor-El’s help, Clark defeats Faora and another Kryptonian, and convinces the military that he is an ally. Zod deploys the world engine and initiates the process in Metropolis and over the southern Indian Ocean, increasing the Earth’s mass and atmosphere.

Clark, now called “Superman”, destroys the world engine, while the military uses the spacecraft that brought him to Earth in an aerial strike on Zod’s ship over Metropolis, sending Zod’s forces back into the Phantom Zone. Only Zod remains, and he engages Superman in a destructive battle across Metropolis using his newly developed powers. When Zod attempts to murder cornered civilians as revenge for his defeat, Superman is forced to kill him. Some time later, Superman warns the government that, if it wants his help, it will be on his terms. To create an alias that gives him access to dangerous situations without arousing suspicion, Clark takes a job as a reporter at the Daily Planet.

So yeah, if you didn’t gather it from that intro, I do not understand the criticisms of this movie. I thought the action was exciting and entertaining. The destruction in the movie didn’t seem any better or worse than the destruction in any other big blockbuster. People said it had more destruction than Avengers, I actually think Avengers had more, and for the record, The Avengers is a movie that I LIKE! I’m not dissing Marvel. I think really the only reason that people think the destruction was so severe in this movie was the lighting. The battle of New York in the Avengers was shot in broad daylight, the fight between Superman and Zod in Man of Steel was mostly shot at about late in the day/early in the evening, so subsequently the city was darker and looked grimmer. Now, let me take a moment to criticize not the complaints people had when they saw the movie, but the ones they had BEFORE they saw the movie.

Grace Randolph, writer of the BOOM! Studios comic book series, Supurbia, reporter for Bleeding Cool, and the YouTube personality behind Beyond The Trailer and Think About The Ink, was a very early negative speculator for the film, at one point outright theorizing that Man Of Steel would goes so far as to not only change the look of the costume, but outright refuse to destroy Krypton. People in general were speculating that this movie was changing so much about the superman mythos. I asked then how do you figure? And I ask now, how much different is this guy from the one in the comics? It, like a lot of comic book movies, was written as a patchwork of different stories to make the filmmakers’ own story. It derives from John Bryne’s Man of Steel, Mark Waid’s Superman: Birthright, Geoff Johns’s Superman: Secret Origin, J. Michael Straczynski’s Superman: Earth One, Grant Morrison’s All-Star Superman, and so much more. I’m not going to criticize the ignorant masses who mostly don’t read comics for not knowing this, but if you’re a comic book fan who regularly follows Superman, you should bloody well recognize at least a couple of these elements. I mean hell, in that first teaser trailer that they released in front of The Dark Knight Rises, you either had a narration from Kevin Costner as Pa Kent, talking about how one day Clark, whether he became a good man or a bad man, would one day change the world, or you had a narration from Russell Crowe as Jor-El giving Jor’s speech from All-Star Superman! The promotional material did not show anything you’d never seen before if you know your right from your left in comics.

But enough of my complaints with people, they are a silly a bunch. Let’s get into few issues with this movie and my high praise for the rest of it!

PROS:

• Henry Cavill as Superman. You couldn’t have hired a better guy, you just couldn’t have. There’s no two ways about it. Thank you Zack Snyder!
• Amy Adams as mother fucking Lois Lane! The minute I went over the casting for this movie and saw Amy Adams’s name next to Lois’s I just sat back and proclaimed “Oh My God Yes!” Again, I don’t think there’s a woman out there, who could do a better Lois than this woman!
• I never really knew who Michael Shannon was before this movie, but watching him here, I want to find out! Because he not only made me hate Zod as a person and love him as a villain, but he legitimately made me feel sorry for the guy. He outright says it more than once in the movie, his entire reason for existing to ensure the protection, the security, and the safety of Krypton and it’s people, even if it means being destructive. You get the feeling at certain times that he doesn’t actually want to hurt anyone, but he feels that he has to in order to ensure the survival of his people. The scene where he holds the ashes and gravel from his destroyed ship and laments “Look at this. We could have built a new Krypton in this squalor, but you chose the humans over us. I exist only to protect Krypton. That is the sole purpose for which I was born. And every action I take, no matter how violent or how cruel, is for the greater good of my people. And now… I have no people. My soul, that is what you have taken from me!” It leaves you not knowing how to feel, you get the feeling that Zod is about to attack Superman (and he does) but at the same time, you feel genuinely awful for the guy. He has literally lost his entire reason for existing. The fact that Shannon can convey so much as just one character speaks volumes to me! I really want to check out more of his work!
• I have loved Russell Crowe ever since I saw him in Ridley Scott’s Gladiator, when I heard he was Jor-El I was so happy! I was already excited when I heard the guy who directed 300 and Watchmen was directing a Superman movie produced and co-written by Christopher Nolan, but when I saw that one of my favorite actors was playing Jor-El I leaped with joy! And I did an even bigger leap when I saw how awesome the guy was in the movie! The minute I saw the movie in theaters I just said to myself, “Screw Superman! I want a fucking Jor-El prequel!” And I stand by that! Snyder, Goyer, DC, Time Warner, give me my Jor-El prequel! 
• Now you know who else I love? Laurence Fishburne! Look at this guy Doesn’t he just scream awe- Oh wait! Shit! That’s not Laurence Fishburne! Okay! There! That’s Laurence Fishburne! In fact, that’s Larry Fishburne himself as Perry White in this movie! While Frank Langela played it a bit more J. Jonah Jameson, Fishburne plays it strait up serious newspaper man. And kicks some serious ass at it!
• Diane Lane and Kevin Costner not only kill it as Ma and Pa Kent, the destroy it! Every scene they have with Clark they make it fucking count! And they have terrific chemistry with the scenes they have with Henry, and young Clark actors, Dylan Sprayberry and Cooper Timberline. You really feel the difficultly they had with raising their child to be a good man, but at the time telling him, you can’t actually go out and show people who you can do, it won’t end well. The last scene with Kevin as Jonathan Kent, is absolutely heartbreaking. You can see every fiber of Clark’s being wants to run strait over there and save his father, especially after the terrible thing he’d only just told him, and Jonathan tells him don’t. Don’t expose yourself, not to save me. Please son. It’s fucking horrible. And every single scene with Diane is terrific! She is just such a mommy! It’s wonderful really!
• In case you don’t actually follow me on here, I am a HUGE House of Cards fan! I LOOOOOOOOVE that show! And one of the things I love most about is Michael Kelly! The guy is such a great actor who does great here as Steve Lombard, the sort office dickhead who sort of makes some good natured, but somewhat irritating, ribbings at his coworkers, particularly Lois. But what I really like here, is that he may be a bit of a dick, but he’s not a terrible person. In the scene where the World Engine is leveling Metropolis and Perry is trying to get their coworker, Jenny (Olsen(?)), out of large chunk of debris. You can see he briefly considers leaving them behind to save his own skin, but says screw it, and grabs a fallen street sign and helps try to save his coworker. He may be a dick, but even dicks can be decent human beings.
• Hans Zimmer’s score is fantastic! I can’t wait to hear what he and Pharrell Wiliams are gonna do together for The Amazing Spider-Man 2, and I REALLY hope he comes back for Man of Steel 2! It’d be really awesome to hear him come up with a completely new Batman theme!
• The action throughout is incredible! More so in the Smallville fight than the Metropolis fight, but that was still pretty fucking awesome too!
• Harry Lennix is in this movie.
• Christopher Meloni is also in this movie.
• If you’re a Smallville fan, there’s a couple guys from the show with very small roles but you might recognize them. The guy who played Lex’s disfigured clone in season 10, who set Lois up as a scarecrow like the jocks at school did to Clark back in season one, plays the Kryptonian scientist aboard Zod’s ship. And the guy who played Emil Hamilton in 14 episodes actually has a small role here as one of the army guys at the Canadian base where Lois first meets Clark. I’m not sure if these guys were purposefully put in here, but it’s a nice little coincidence.

CONS:

• I think it’s kind of dickish of Jor-El to not try to make a computer program for Lara’s consciousness so that she could see their son too.
• This one’s more of a nitpick, but what exactly is Zod and his crew’s ages supposed to be? Michael Shannon is 39, and Antje Traue, who played Zod’s second in command, Faora, is 33. But they spent 33 years in outer space. I mean, I know your body ages more slowly in space, and you can tell Zod’s a little older. He’s got some grays on his head, and he’s got a goatee with a lot more gray, but everyone else looks pretty much the same. So how old are they supposed to be exactly?
• This isn’t a con with THIS movie, but I really wish Snyder had done at least one solo sequel before bringing in Batman and Wonder Woman. But that’s a minor quibble.

What am I going to give this movie? Do I need to tell you? … Well, yes, I do, I guess that’s part of the review. I’m gonna give Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel an 8.5 out of 10!

I loved the hell out of this movie, and I can’t wait for the second movie in 2016! Especially since it comes out the day before my birthday! In any case, please stay tuned for my comparison of these two films, I hope you enjoyed this review and have a terrific day!

DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - Superman Vs. The Elite (2012)

Written In January 2014

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

The movie opens up with Manchester Black watching multiple news stories about villains and how they’re given second chances. As, all of the news stories close down to one solution, the world wants solutions to all of the evil in the world; by killing it. When Manchester sees that this is what the world wants, he turns off the TV and begins his plot to keep the world safe….by any means necessary.

Back at Metropolis, Lois and Clark witness the death of multiple people in the streets at the hands of the Atomic Skull who was killing people to draw out Superman. As the battle erupts throughout most of the city, Superman ends up defeating Atomic Skull by throwing him into a lake. After this Superman gives a speech at the United Nations about the greater good that is found within everyone. During this the leaders of Bialyia and Pokolistan begin to fight due to their peace treaty being broken, Superman leaves the United Nations to stop their armed forces from destroying each other.

As Superman arrives in Bialya, the Pokolistani forces release a bio weapon on the Bialyan military which destroys most of their ground forces. As Superman gets the soldiers to safety from the bio weapon, The Elite arrive just in time to help the Man of Steel destroy the bio weapon.

Superman returns to Metropolis to report the news and also gain more information on the Elite. Superman and Lois fly to England to find out if they, and the world, can trust the Elite. It is revealed through Manchester Black that he gained his powers near puberty and used it for the first time to save his sister Vera from being hit by a train.

Through telepathy, Black gets a painful headache of multiple people screaming. The Elite and Superman arrive on the scene to save the civilians on a subway train which was trapped underwater due to a terrorist attack. After Superman and Black save the passengers, Black interrogates the terrorists that bombed the train nearly killing them. Superman begins to be concerned about the motives of his new-found friends.

Back in Metropolis, Clark and Lois talk about the information they had found on the Elite and also the back-story of Manchester Black. Lois tells Clark that there is no death certificate or birth record of Manchester’s sister Vera. This makes Clark further question the origin of the Elite and what they are really trying to accomplish. When Manchester broadcasts a message for all the world to hear, he ends up telling them that they will take care of all the bad guys in the world by killing them.

After the broadcast, Superman returns to the Fortress of Solitude to search for reliable information on the Elite. Having failed in finding information, Superman travels to Bialya. While there Superman is hit by an EMP which weakens him. Closing Pokolistani forces are about to attack him when the Elite attacks. Powerless to stop the chaos that the Elite inflict on the Pokolistani military, Superman ends up passing out. He eventually awakens at the Elite’s base of operations and is teleported back to Earth after he fails to convince the Elite that they don’t have to kill to be heroes.

In Metropolis, Atomic Skull breaks out of prison and looks for revenge on Superman. The Elite arrives but have little success against the overpowered Atomic Skull. When Superman arrives, he coordinates an attack with the Elite to get all the extra power away from Atomic Skull. After Atomic Skull’s power is drained by Coldcast, he is killed by Manchester Black under the vote of a boy whose father was one of Atomic Skull’s victims.

After protecting Pokolistan from Bialya’s jets, Superman is visited by the Elite who tell him that they have killed both the Pokolistan and Bialya leaders and that peace can reign supreme in that area once again. Angered by Manchester’s uncontrollable urge to kill the villains, Superman punches him in the face and the Elite take it as a statement of war against the world’s “favorite heroes.” They tell Superman that they will kill him for this outrage.

The next day, Superman stands in the middle of Metropolis telling the Elite that he is ready to fight. Asking them to do it somewhere safe, they teleport to the Moon where they begin their fight. Almost dying, Superman begins to understand how to protect the world. Injecting Menagerie with a poison that causes her sym-beasts to abandon her and forcing her into a state of death. The Hat attempts to exploit Superman’s known weakness to magic but is suffocated by a whirlwind displacing oxygen and sucked into the funnel.

Against Coldcast’s wishes, Manchester teleports them to Metropolis to use the innocent civilians as cover. While Black gives the order to combine powers to destroy Metropolis when Superman appears, a flash blur of red and blue appears and Coldcast is gone. Superman appears informing Black that the blow knocked Coldcast into orbit. Manchester attacks Superman with everything he has but is effortlessly avoided. Through heat vision, Superman lobotomizes Manchester, stripping him of his powers. Believing his death to be seconds away, Manchester tells Superman that the world knows he is no better than they are and will never again trust him. Superman reveals that he did not kill any of the Elite, but he had his Super-Robots protected all of the citizens and created the false illusion that he had killed them. They were really transported to the Fortress of Solitude to be stripped of their powers, then sent to a prison. In the end, the people of Earth see that Superman’s way is best for all of mankind. After that, he flies off with Lois and they kiss.

If Brainiac Attacks is to Superman what Mystery of the Batwoman is to Batman, then this is Superman’s Under The Red Hood! It’s a challenge to our hero’s morals and contains a hot headed young man who has the stones to say, let’s kill the bad guys instead of just locking ‘em up! And both times the titular hero gives the best answer they could why they won’t do it. The differences are inherent to the characters, and also I think in the presentations of the bad guys who want to get their hands dirty. But I’ll explain that in a moment or two. Let’s get to the pros and cons.

PROS:

• This movie and Injustice prove two things to me. 1) George Newbern is HORRIFYING as an Evil Superman! 2) George is also the best voice for Superman in general, I think Tim does the better Clark Kent, but George Newbern IS Superman! This monologue isn’t in this movie, but listen to this clip and tell me it isn’t perfect! Now listen to this clip that actually is from this movie… This is the same guy talking both times. This guy can do Superman threatening to make Darksied a greasy smear on his fist and can turn right around and say that dreams are what will save humanity in the end. Give this guy a trophy! And give it to him now!
• Pauley Perrette as Lois Lane! This chick got it! I’ve never watched NCIS, but this and Mark Harmon’s Superman back in Crisis on Two Earths really gives me the incentive to watch it!
• The action in this one is terrific as always!
• I love how this movie actually challenges an idea that far too many people have nowadays. When people say “Superman is outdated.” I say “Bullshit!” I’m all for the grim and gritty heroes like Batman, The Punisher, or Judge Dredd, but at the end of the day, those aren’t superheroes. They’re antiheroes, except for Dredd, they all do what they do because they lost someone and it drove them so mad that they decided they would ruin their life just to make sure criminals paid the price. That’s not a superhero. A superhero is someone who realizes that they have the ability to stand up for truth and justice, and realize they have the responsibility to do those. But at the same time, superheroes aren’t the law, they may work with and alongside it, but they are not the police. They are there to protect the innocent, not enforce law. And they are certainly not there to reestablish it. I do think that Superman should kill, but I think it should only ever be in a situation where doing so would neutralize a threat to the people that would other wise persist.
• While I don’t think they’re given the best characters ever, I think the actors who voice the Elite do pretty good work.
• Fred Tatasciore as Perry White! That’s it. He doesn’t say a ton but he’s great!

CONS:

• The Elite are some of the dumbest villains I’ve ever seen. They claim to be good guys, and even to be enormous fans of superman, but they do things that would clearly be frowned upon by any good guy, Superman included. Even the characters themselves are terrible. Machester’s a wannabe punk rocker who thinks he’s Malcolm X or something. Menagerie’s constantly making sexual remarks about Superman which is about as far as her character gets. Coldcast is just a thug. And Hat’s just a drunk They’re all morons too, they go ahead and kill all the leaders of two entire countries and act like they fixed a problem when they’ve only made it worse! Even if you're for the death penalty you shouldn’t support these guys because they’re idiots!
• The people in this movie are morons too. Superman’s been protecting their ungrateful asses for years, and out comes these young hot headed dumbasses who say “Hey! Let’s bypass the courts on whether or not these guys are guilty enough to merit a death sentence and kill 'em already! And while we’re at it, fuck diplomacy! Let’s leave two unstable countries in total anarchy! Because total anarchy is cool!” And everyone is like and
  
  
  and I’m just sitting here like
  
• There’s this one scene that really got on my nerves. When Atomic Skull goes on through Metropolis the second time, he kills this pundit who was advocating for Superman at the UN. The son mourning practically begs Manchester to kill Atomic Skull. Did you never once listen to your father you little brat? And more importantly, do you not realize that your talking about a living person here? I know you’re mourning and you want revenge, but do you really think your father, who was VOUCHING for Superman to remain on his no killing stance, would really want you to avenge him this way? THINK ABOUT IT YOU NIMROD!

All in all, I think this is the second best Superman movie I’ve reviewed so far, I don’t think it’s quite as good as Doomsday but it is much better than Brainiac Attacks! I’m gonna give Superman Vs. The Elite a 7.5 out of 10.

DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - All-Star Superman (2010)

Written In January 2014

Wow, they really did cut a lot from this movie… So, am I the only one who wonders why these movies are all only 76 minutes or less? If you want to tell a long story, tell a long story! Go full on Return of the King for this movie! The fans think it deserves it and isn’t this movie for the fans? I mean who else really knew about All-Star Superman unless they were a die hard comic book superman fan! In fact, why split Dark Knight Returns into two 76 minute movies? Why not just go for one two and a half hour movie, if people see the movie is that bloody long, they might take it seriously and buy more copies. Everybody wins!

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

Dr. Leo Quintum and team are exploring the Sun when they are sabotaged by a booby-trapped genetically enhanced clone, turned into a time-bomb by Lex Luthor. Superman stops the clone but in doing so receives an overdose of solar radiation. Though the radiation is slowly killing him, it does give Superman new powers. Luthor, having orchestrated the death of Superman while under the employment of General Sam Lane, is arrested thanks to Clark Kent’s article and sentenced to death. Superman asks Dr. Quintim to keep news of his impending death secret from the public. Wanting to spend as much of his remaining time with Lois Lane, Superman reveals to her that he is Clark Kent. Lois doubts his revelation because she had been unable to prove Superman’s “Kent” identity herself. Superman takes her to the Fortress of Solitude. During this visit, Superman’s secretive behavior and her indirect exposure to alien chemicals heightens Lois’s paranoia.

She is startled by Robot 7, shooting it and then Superman with a kryptonite laser. The solar radiation having made him immune to green kryptonite, Superman is able to calm her, explaining his caginess was to hide her birthday present, a serum granting her superpowers for 24 hours. Now as aSuperwoman, she and Superman stop an attack by Subterraneans in Metropolis just as Samson and Atlas arrive. Samson flirts with Lois and gives her a necklace, the crown jewels of the Ultra-Sphinx. When Superman tells him to back off, he shows Superman a newspaper that reads “Superman Dead” and challenges Superman to contests to win Lois. The Ultra-Sphinx travels through time to reclaim the jewels Samson had stolen, placing Lois between life and death. Superman must answer an unanswerable question to save Lois. Superman then defeats Atlas and Samson in a double arm-wrestling match before spending the rest of the day with Lois as her powers fade.

Later, Kent meets Luthor for an exclusive interview at Stryker’s Island. However, Superman’s energy allows the Parasite to free himself and cause havoc in the prison. Clark stops him while not revealing his secret identity, with Luthor disclosing his respect for Clark as both a journalist and a man. Luthor then reveals a tunnel from his cell for Clark to escape through, aided by Nasthalthia, Luthor’s delinquent niece. Luthor chooses not to escape as the satisfaction of outliving Superman is rewarding enough. Weeks later, after taking the city of Kandor to a new planet to thrive, Superman returns to find Metropolis has been repaired with Kryptonian architecture and that Earth has been protected by Bar-El and Lilo, lost astronauts from Krypton. They followed the trail of the vessel that brought Superman to Earth. To his dismay, the two have less altruistic goals and intend to turn Earth into a new Krypton. As they fight Superman, Bar-El and Lilo begin showing signs of illness: the two had passed through the remnants of Krypton and thus were saturated with kryptonite. To save them and at their request, Superman places the two in the Phantom Zone until a cure can be found.

After settling his affairs, Superman proceeds to finish his last will and testament. Luthor reprogrammed one of the Fortress' robots to steal the serum he made for Lois’ birthday. Having the powers of Superman, Luthors’ electrocution failed and he escapes, unfettered. He meets with Nasthalthia below one of his lairs to continue his plans. Superman finishes his will when he learns of Luthor’s secret ally: Solaris, the tyrant star computer, which betrayed Luthor by tampering with Earth’s sun and turned it blue. With his robots, Superman engages Solaris in space. All seems lost until Superman’s pet Sun-Eater sacrifices itself to weaken the tyrant star, which allows Superman to destroy Solaris.

Clark returns to the Daily Planet, very ill, and dies upon completing his article. As the staff tries to save him, the super-powered Luthor arrives and attempts to kill Lois. Clark revives and fires a gravity gun at Luthor. Superman tells Luthor he has been on to him ever since Robot-7 first malfunctioned. As his powers fade, Luthor briefly sees the world as Superman sees it and weeps as he gains a measure of understanding of the subatomic and how it interconnects. The gravity weapon has warped time causing Luthor’s powers to burn out at a faster rate. As his powers drain, Luthor wishes the experience to continue. He believes he can solve the grand unification theory but when he reaches for his next vial of serum, he realizes that Superman has stolen his supply. Superman then destroys the serum, over Luthor’s protests, pointing out that if Luthor truly cared about solving the world’s problems, he would have done so long ago.

With Superman’s body starting to turn into pure energy, he and Lois embrace one final time and he proclaims his love for her once and for all. He flies into the Sun, seemingly sacrificing himself to save the Earth. Later, when Lois sits on bench in front of a statue of Superman, Jimmy invites her to attend a memorial service being held for Superman. Lois does not go as she believes Superman is not dead and will return after he repairs the sun. Quintum visits Luthor in his death row cell. Now enlightened from his ordeal and accepting his impending death, Luthor presents Quintum with the only thing that could redeem him for his actions over the years, a formula to recreate Superman’s genetic structure through a healthy human embryo. The movie ends with a picture of Superman fixing the sun and a voice says he will come back after fixing the sun.

So the last time we reviewed a solo Superman movie, I admitted that I hadn’t read the source material, well this time around I have read this book… And I don’t like it. I think it’s a mess with great artwork that has some interesting ideas and some nice quotes, but unfortunately Grant Morrison doesn’t seem to know how to tell a focused story. The first chapter of this story starts with Lex making it so that Superman has cancer, and then promptly does absolutely nothing with it for 10 chapters, then comes October of ‘08, almost three years after the first chapter and says “Oh golly gee, I’m dying! I’d better make sure the sun doesn’t die.” Why do we need to see Superman besting Samson and Atlas? Why do we need to see Clark Kent interviewing Lex Luthor in prison while Parasite tries to kill everyone in the building? Why do we need to see him trying to escape the square bizarro planet? Why do we need to see these two Kryptonian scientists be dicks to Earth only to randomly start dying so Superman can show them the error of their ways?

Now what we needed more of, was Superman telling Lois he’s Clark Kent and taking on the best date of her life on her birthday no less! Clark going back in time to say goodbye to his father one last time. Superman simultaneously frees Kandor AND CURES CANCER! These are things the story needs more of, not Superman being tested. We already know he’s the best, and we already know he’s the greatest. We don’t need to be shown that’s he’s super strong, super powerful or super smart. We need to show why the world is going to miss him so terribly once he’s gone. But instead, we’re shown everything we DON’T need to know. But enough about that comic, let’s talk about this movie.

PROS:

• Christina Hendricks is a wonderful Lois Lane!
• James Denton is a pretty good Superman!
• MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER AS JIMMY OLSEN! PER-FUCKING-FECTION!!!!!!
• I don't know who Anthony LaPaglia as Lex Luthor, but he did a pretty nice job!
• Really great animation!
• Ed Asner as Perry White, fantastic casting!
• Christopher Drake has another great score for this one!

CONS:

• They cut out the bit with Pa Kent, curing cancer and the Bizarro world, which are some of my favorite parts of the book, but for some reason left in the sequence at Ryker’s and the stuff with Samson and Atlas.
• Speaking of Samson and Atlas, these are some of the most generic and unentertaing performances I’ve ever heard by John DiMaggio and Steve Blum, shame on you movie!
• I think Christina does a great job as Lois, but I hate the Lois she’s written for. The fact that she completely disbelieves that Superman is Clark AFTER HE FUCKING TOLD HER always rubbed me the wrong way.
• This Lex rubs me from the wrong way too, definitely the more “I’m crazy and I hate Superman because he’s a good! GRAH!!!!!” variety. Not a terribly huge fan of that type of Lex.

All in all I don’t have a ton to say about this movie, it’s not awful, but I don’t think it’s good either. I’m going to give All-Star Superman, an extremely apathetic, 6 out of 10.

DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - Superman: Braniac Attacks (2006)

Written In January 2014

 

So we’re back to Mystery of the Batwoman territory here, are we? We’re not gonna have another mature movie this time? Well, I guess I’ll have to wait for the next movie. Okay, time for the plot summary.

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen are sent to one of Lex Luthor’s laboratories after Brainiac arrives on Earth on a meteor, successfully dodging the attempts made by Luthor’s satellite to destroy any potential damage to the Earth (in an attempt to boost his popularity against Superman as the true hero of the people). Superman shortly arrives and finds Brainiac downloading data from the computers with information relating the various forms of weaponry from LexCorp, including the laser-equipped meteor shield that had attempted to destroy Brainiac earlier. Using his ice-breath, Superman is able to seemingly destroy Brainiac, after Superman and Brainiac had engaged in battle.

Witnessing the incident, and how his satellite could be used as an effective weapon against Superman, Luthor gathers a piece of Brainiac’s remains and takes it to LexCorp where Brainiac is revived. There, Luthor proposes that Brainiac, with the technology of LexCorp as well as Kryptonite, defeat Superman, and then Luthor step in to chase Brainiac away from the Earth, in front of the world to make him appear as Earth’s true hero, where he will then be free to conquer other planets. Brainiac accepts the agreement, and proceeds to rebuilding and improving himself.

Meanwhile, Clark Kent contemplates the idea of revealing his secret identity to Lois. The opportunity presents itself when editor, Perry White, due to staff shortages, send both Kent and Lane to review a restaurant in Metropolis. However, it is during this time that Brainiac returns. Among his improvements is the ability to track down Superman based on his DNA. After another fight between Superman and Brainiac, Superman has been significantly injured, and infected, by Brainiac’s power rays and Lois is injured in the process where it is revealed that her blood has been infected with a metallic-based poison, that if not treated would prove fatal.

Feeling guilty, Superman obtains a sample of Lois’ blood from the hospital and returns to the ‘Fortress of Solitude’ where he analyzes Lois’ blood using his Kryptonian technology. It is then when Superman discovers that the only cure for Lois’ condition is to obtain a chemical substance from the 'Phantom Zone’. However, Brainiac is able to locate Superman in his Antarctic retreat, and attempts to downloaded the information of Krypton from Superman’s computer. Superman then initiates a self-destruct sequence. Brainiac, not being able to locate Superman, presumes that he has been killed in the explosion. Superman had in fact gone into the Phantom Zone in order to find the chemical that would not only cure Lois and heal himself, but provide him with increased strength against Brainiac.

Brainiac returns to Metropolis where Luthor awaits in order to fulfill their agreement. Brainiac however, intends to kill Luthor in order to conquer Earth, and had even removed the self-destruct component that Luthor had planted should Brainiac double cross him. Returning to Metropolis, Superman and Brainiac fight. Superman seemingly defeats Brainiac and then returns to the hospital in order to cure the ailing Lois. However, Brainiac is able to destroy the chemical that would cure Lois, before Superman finally destroys Brainiac.

With the cure now destroyed, Lois faces certain death due to her illness. Superman, regretting never telling Lois his true feelings then embraces her. It is then that his tears, containing the chemical that had healed him earlier, makes contact with Lois, curing her. Later back in the arctic, Superman recovers a piece of his destroyed Kryptonian technology where he aims to rebuild his fortress. He then vows to quit his job at the Daily Planet in an attempt to prevent future harm to his loved ones, should any of his enemies discover his secret identity.

The film ends with Luthor facing criminal prosecution after the discovery of LexCorp’s involvement with Brainiac attack, and Lois Lane racing to cover the appearance of Mr. Mxyzptlk in Metroplois. Seeing Lois’ eagerness to put herself in harms way in order to cover a story, Superman goes back on his earlier decision to quit the Daily Planet so that he can be with Lois, as well as Metropolis’ protector against the most powerful threats from the universe.

First things first, this… Is a kiddie movie! While most of these movies have been rated PG, this is the first time we’re I truly felt this movie was not meant for someone my age. But regardless, let’s get to something to the stuff I liked and disliked.

PROS:

• Nice animation
• Dana Delany is Lois Lane, and she’s fantastic as usual!
• Good action
• Tim Daly 
• There’s a moment here where Jimmy Olsen and Perry White are talking at the Planet while Lois is in the hospital, Perry’s trying to get Jimmy to report on the Luthor dinner for him, and for a moment he seems distraught about Lois and what might happen to her and sounds like he might start crying. And Jimmy quickly tries to console him, and accepts his offer saying, “I’ll report anything you want me to, just not Miss Lane’s obid! Because she’s gonna be fine, ya hear me?” For one ever so brief and yet brilliantly shining moment, we see some maturity in this film. And I genuinely appreciated that.
• It’s not handled seriously, but when Superman goes to the fortress and Brainiac is about to absorb all it’s knowledge, Superman sets it to blow. Brainiac inquires why in horror, noting that all of Krypton’s knowledge will be lost. Superman replies, “Better lost, than abused!” This shows something that we don’t get to see that much. Superman genuinely treasures his alien heritage, and doesn’t want to see the knowledge of his people fall into the wrong hands. He’d rather the only piece of his planet that he has left, other than the very suit he wears, be destroyed than be used by someone like Brainiac.
• While Superman is searching for a way to save Lois, he says that nothing else matters but saving her. I hated this. BUT, later in the film, when returning from the Phantom Zone with the means to save her, the first thing he addresses is the ongoing destruction of Metropolis caused by Brainiac. This shows that as much as he may talk about the fact that he values loved ones over other innocent lives, Superman will still protect the people of Metropolis (and subsequently the Earth) before ever going to attend to the people he cares about most.
• There’s a scene where Superman seemingly defeats Brainiac during the final fight in Metropolis, but then it turns out he’s still alive. Superman then defeats Brainiac again, and makes sure to smash his hard drive. Because if Pacific Rim taught us anything, always check for a pulse!
• The ending scene where Lois takes off her hospital gown revealing she was wearing her reporter attire underneath it, and then running off to the scene of a crime being committed by Mr.Myxplyx, is so freaking Lois!
• There’s a scene where Clark decides to tell Lois he’s Superman, he doesn’t do so explicitly, but ala Christopher Reeve in Superman 2. He just changes HIS FREAKING POSTURE! And immediately Lois freaks out because she’s thinking “Oh! My! GOD! Is my coworker secretly the man I’ve openly fantasized about since God knows when!??!” This however, brings me to the cons…

CONS:

• Tim Daly is good in this movie, but he’s really let down by the direction.
• Powers Boothe’s Lex could’ve been great, but he was written to be so cartoony, not unlike Gene Hackman in the Christopher Reeve Superman movies.
• Brainiac is very poorly used.
• Clark chooses not to tell Lois he’s Superman because he claims he’s fearful of her safety, but honestly, I don’t buy. I think that after his hallucination in the Phantom Zone, he’s afraid Lois will try to pry him away from being a hero. Clark, it’s freaking Lois Lane! She’s not that damn shallow!
• Here’s what I don’t get with this movie; they kept the style from Superman: The Animated Series but they changed some of the cast… Why? Those voices were and are the only ones that come from those designs! You can argue for George Newbern as Superman in Justice League, but his voice for Superman (and his voice period really) is pretty close to Tim Daly’s. It just doesn’t make any real sense to change the cast if your going to keep the designs, and I really doubt Corey Burton and Clancy Brown (Brainiac and Lex in the DCAU respectively) weren’t too busy to be called, since they voice act for a living!
• This one I really hated, Superman visits Lois in the hospital after finally defeating Brainiac, and it turns out Lois has died, Superman revives her through a plot device I have always HATED. Tear Magic! Why do I hate it? Skip to about 10:00 of this link here.
  
  

So as you can tell by this point, other than a few points here and there, I really did not enjoy watching this movie. It’s not awful, and if you’re a parent, an older sibling, an elementary school teacher, or an older cousin, I really recommend putting this on for getting those little ones to shut up for about an hour and a half. But other than that, if you’re over 7 years old or just a die hard Superman fan, I’d say skip it. I might revisit this and write up a comparison to Superman: Unbound after I review that one, but for now, I’m avoiding this like the plague. It’s too kiddie!

And yes, all of these movies, with the possible exception of Return of the Joker and Vs. Dracula, were made for kids. But even then, you could definitely kick back and enjoy them if you were older than say, 8 to 14 years old. It’s like with most Pixar movies, kids are the target audience, but there’s a reason you keep coming back even after you’ve grown out of that audience. Because there’s clever and heartfelt, and never treated you as kids, like morons. And even then, the older you got, the better the movies got because you started noticing little details that you didn’t notice when you were younger. I’m not comparing, say, Mask of the Phantasm, to something like Monster’s Inc., but it’s that kind of effect. They were mature films intended for a younger audience. This movie, it’s not mature. It’s for little kids. It’s something like the Backyardigans on Nick Junior, you’re not going to enjoy it, because it’s not meant for you.

But with that being said, I did like some parts of it, so I won’t give it a Rotten. I’ll be giving it an even 6 out of 10.