DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - Justice League Doom (2012)

Written In January 2014

Here’s the short version, just not quite as good as New Frontier, nowhere near as good as Crisis on Two Earths. Stay tuned for the long version!

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

The film revolves around Vandal Savage’s plot to exterminate the greater part of the human population and start a new civilization. To ensure that the Justice League is unable to stop him, Savage hires Mirror Master, who hacks into the Batcomputer using a device made by LexCorp and steals contingency plans devised by Batman to incapacitate his League teammates should they ever go rogue. Savage assembles a group of supervillains with personal vendettas against the heroes and pays them richly to simultaneously attack the members of the League using these plans, albeit altered to be lethal.

The villains each do their part to take out the Justice League:

• Batman is informed by Alfred Pennyworth that the bodies of Thomas and Martha Wayne have been exhumed and are missing. When Bruce Wayne arrives at his parents’ graves, he is ambushed by Bane. The emotional distraction is enough to grant Bane the upper hand and render his adversary unconscious. Bruce is then placed into his father’s coffin which is reburied. He wakes up to the horrifying prospect of dying of asphyxiation next to his father’s corpse. Batman comes close to accepting his fate but, motivated by the memory of his parents’ murder, is able to dig his way out of the grave. He soon realizes that the League has been attacked using his own contingency plans. With help from Cyborg, he saves his teammates one by one.
• Wonder Woman is attacked by Cheetah who scratches her arm, sending nanomachines into her bloodstream. The microscopic machines attach themselves to her brain stem and begin broadcasting directly into her visual and auditory sensors. This fools Wonder Woman into thinking that everyone she sees is a duplicate of Cheetah. The illusion is designed to exploit her competitive nature, by sending her into a never-ending battle. Since she would never surrender, she will force herself to fight until her body gives out, thanks to the drugs the nanomachines were carried in, causing her to suffer an epileptic seizure or a heart attack. Cyborg adjusts his sonic emitter to a frequency that neutralizes the nanites.
• The Martian Manhunter (in his human identity of John Jones) is celebrating his birthday with his colleagues from the police force. He receives a soda from a mysterious woman (who is actually Ma'alefa'ak in disguise). The drink is laced with magnesium carbonate, which is poisonous to Martian biology. The Manhunter’s body is capable of curing itself, but only by sweating out the magnesium which is highly flammable. Ma'alefa'ak uses a lighter to set his enemy on fire (J'onn’s only weakness), leaving him to burn alive without the possibility to extinguish the flames. Batman provides Cyborg and Wonder Woman with a chemical (Aluminium oxide) that when injected into the Martian, neutralizes the magnesium.
• The Flash is lured into a trap by Mirror Master who pretends to rob a train. The villain then uses a hologram of an elderly woman to create the illusion that he had a hostage. The whole scenario is only intended to trick the Flash into placing his arm into a booby trap that attaches a bomb to his wrist. The bomb will explode and kill everyone within three miles if the hero tries to remove it or if he does nothing. The only way to prevent the explosion is to run and never decelerate, but even the Flash cannot run forever. Batman instructs him to run and vibrate his molecules through an entire glacier in the Arctic to get rid of the bomb. Flash gets away from the blast radius.
• Green Lantern is called upon by the FBI to deal with a group of terrorists who have taken hostages into a salt mine. However the truth is that both the terrorists and the hostages are sophisticated androids. The entire setting is part of a complex deception that fools Green Lantern into thinking that innocent lives are lost due to his overconfidence. The hero is also exposed to a synthesized version of the Scarecrow’s fear gas that undermines his will. Finally, Star Sapphire shows up and exploits his fears, convincing him that he does not deserve the power he wields. Green Lantern renounces his ring, without which he cannot escape from the collapsed salt mine. The weakened hero resigns to his fate. Batman shows him that the hostage was an android when he takes its head off and offers him an antidote to the gas. Jordan rejects it with his will now resolved.
• Superman is lured to the roof of the Daily Planet by a disillusioned former employee named Henry Ackerson, who aims to commit suicide by either jumping off or shooting himself. Superman tries to talk him out of it, and appears to have succeeded, when Ackerson unexpectedly shoots the hero instead. It is then revealed that the suicide ploy was meant to trick Superman into lowering his guard, that the former employee was being impersonated by Metallo, and that the bullet was made of Kryptonite, the only material that can harm Kryptonians. A fatally wounded Superman falls from the top of the building. The Kryptonite is surgically extracted by Cyborg (who uses a kryptonite scalpel laser) and Martian Manhunter (who shapeshifts his fingers and gets the bullet out) and Superman regains consciousness.

The Justice League retreats to the Watchtower, where Batman reveals that he was the real mastermind behind the attacks, having studied the others for physical and psychological weaknesses. However, he also had a contingency in place should the Batcomputer ever be hacked: a tracing algorithm hidden in his files. This enables the League to track down the Legion of Doom.
The villains are subdued, but the heroes fail to prevent Savage’s scheme to orchestrate an apocalyptic cataclysm with a powerful solar flare. Using information obtained by Cyborg, Batman devises a last minute plan and the League barely manages to save the Earth. The World Court sentences the immortal Vandal Savage to life imprisonment without possibility of parole.

In the aftermath of their victory, the Justice League votes to add Cyborg to their roster. Superman calls for a vote on Batman’s continued membership in the team, following the revelation of the latter’s breach of trust. However, Batman defends his plans and expresses no regret over his actions. He leaves the Justice League, saying “I don’t need to wait for a vote, I don’t belong here.”

In the final scene, Superman entrusts Batman with the Kryptonite bullet, agreeing with the concept of having safeguards in place should the League members ever fall to villainy or mind control - but not without first questioning him about Bane’s attack. It is revealed that exhuming the bodies of Thomas and Martha Wayne was entirely Savage’s idea. Superman asks Batman if he is still so arrogant that he did not bother to create a plan to stop himself, but Batman replies that there is one: the Justice League.

So here’s the thing, I honestly like this movie. I do. I love the cast, I like the story, I always enjoy seeing Cyborg getting to do something, and blah blah blah. But there were always a couple issues I had with the movie.

1. If you’re intent on getting the individual Justice League members’s worst enemies, then why the hell did you go for Metallo and Bane for Superman and Batman? I mean admittedly, they’re probably easier to manipulate than their actual worst enemies since; A. Lex has enough money and would likely screw Vandal over in the end. B. The Joker doesn’t give a fuck about money (except for TNBA where he and Harley went sort of broke) and would ABSOLUTELY screw Vandal over in the end. So it’s one of those things like, that makes sense, but you could’ve done better.
2. Everyone seems so offended that Batman would come up with plans to take out the League, or just members of it, if need be. Why? Superman can shoot volcano levels of heat from his eyes and breath blizzards! The entire Amazon race could level the world of a men inside a month if they felt the need! Sinestro turned his back on the core, who’s to say Hal or another Green Lantern wouldn’t too? The Flash can cause all kinds of destruction with his speed if he feels the need. Unless you know that Martians hate fire, J'Onn could take over the planet in no time. These are all people that there needs to be a plan for in case they are manipulated or corrupted. But everyone acts like it’s a betrayal of trust.
3. I’m fine with a Justice League movie that worships the almighty BATGOD, but at least let the other characters get a word in. When Batman’s leaving the League, Superman calls him out on his arrogance and asks him if he even thought to make a plan for himself. Batman replies that the League is his plan. If that isn’t bad enough, Superman smirks at him and acts like he didn’t just say something incredibly arrogant and stupid.
   

But ultimately, those don’t feel like bad enough details, especially since Crisis sort of worships Batgod, but that movie simply showed Batman as an intelligent combatant as opposed to the man who could even best freaking Galactus if given about 10 days. And that’s the version of Batman I hate, the version that says “Batman iz relatable becuz he’s human!” Relatable despite the fact that he’s more of a superhero than the actual super powered heroes. But regardless, you see that kind of stupid talk from morons online all the time. Why did that really bug me here? Well I think I finally put my finger on it, it’s… drum roll please!

We all know that Batman doesn’t kill, correct? The man himself says that the reason these plans almost got the League killed was because he repurposed them to kill. To repurpose something is to simply tweak it slightly, to take something meant for one thing and change it just a LITTLE to make it work for something similar. Well here’s the thing, I see these plans and other than the signature Kryptonite thing, I don’t see anything about them that Batman would use. They’re too cruel. Like lighting J'Onn on fire? Or making Diana think that every person she sees is Cheetah in order to induce a heart attack? I don’t see what these plans could’ve been originally, I don’t see what Batman would’ve done if these plans were used as intended. And that bugs me a lot. But enough with that, let’s get into the actual pros and cons.

PROS:

• Kevin, Tim, Michael, Carl and Susan are all on their A-Game! Each and every single one of them slips on their signature roles like a glove and wears it like a well tailored suit.
• Nathan Fillion returns from Emerald Knights as Hal and I continue to enjoy his delightful presence in these films!
• I don’t know who Bumper Robinson is, but he does a real nice job as Cyborg. He’s not as good as Khary Payton, but Khary voiced the son of a bitch for 3 years so it’s unfair.
• I don’t know who the actor is who plays Bane, but he should do the character more often! Kudos to you Mr. Carlos Alazraqui!
• Claudia Black as Cheetah! Now this lady I know, she played a conwoman and eventual main character name Vala in Stargate SG1 and I always loved her on that show! She was so hilarious! This movie though, she ain’t funny! And I rather like that about this character, great work again Miss Black! Good to see you again!
• So Detective Lance (Paul Blackthorne) from Arrow voices Metallo… OH MY GOD! I mean the performance is fine enough but it is so weird to see him in this movie before that show had started yet!
• The asshole senator from Dollhouse (who was also on Buffy and Angel apparently) plays Mirror Master… Yep! It’s official, Bruce Timm and Andrea Romano are Whedonites! No doubt about it.
• So oddly enough, we have more actors from comic book TV shows voicing characters in this movie. We have Phil Morris, WHO PLAYED MARTIAN MANHUNTER IN SMALLVILLE (and the lawyer, Jackie Chiles in a few episodes of Seinfeld which kind of connects back to Superman again because 
  plays Vandal Savage, reprising the role from the Justice League animated series and still does great work here!
• Lois Lane gets a couple scenes in this movie and she’s voiced by Grey DeLisle, whom I adore, and she does great work in this role! It definitely won’t be one of her most remembered roles, but it’s a nice little footnote on her kickass career.
• Speaking of ass kicking, this movie has plenty of that and more! Lots of great action here!
• While I already gave praise to Kevin, Tim, Susan, Michael and Carl, I really feel I ought to give each of them separate amounts of praise for their work. I’ll start with Carl, now first off, look at this image. 
  Imagine how hard it would be to emote the feeling of the pain of being burned alive. Doesn’t sound easy does it? Now imagine having to display that MUCH pain through just your voice! Sounds easy right? 
  Having to put out that much emotion is hard enough, to do it through voice acting is nigh impossible. And Carl Lumbly nails it!
• I don’t have a ton to say about him through out this movie, but there are two scenes that I think Kevin nailed! One is the scene where he goes to the cemetery where his parents are supposed to be buried and he sounds absolutely furious that their bodies are missing. The other is the scene where he pieces together that some asshole is using his plans to attack his friends, he quickly tells Alfred that he needs to leave because the League is under attack, worriedly Alfred asks who are they under attack by. Batman quickly replies “Me!” Great delivery Kevin, but that’s nothing new.
• Michael Rosembaum, who also played Lex in Smallville, does a great job as The Flash in this movie. Granted he’s doing a different Flash than the one he did in Justice League/Justice League Unlimited (he’s doing Barry in this movie, he did Wally in the old show) but he still does good work. I especially love the bit where Batman tells him to go up to the arctic and run through a glacier so that it’ll get stuck in one. Barry almost completely out of breath, a disturbing thought in of itself for The Flash, says that he’s more than happy to do this, noting that at least this way, the only person dead would be him.
• Susan Eisenberg gets to play a Wonder Woman we don’t normally see, one who is simply to pooped to pop! She’s been taking down as many Cheetahs as she can, and they just keep coming, and she’s getting so tired. It’s wonderfully disturbing to see an exhausted Wonder Woman.
• Tim Daly really never gets the chance to play a dying Superman but he has a great scene where he has to try to talk down a suicidal reporter (Metallo in disguise) and he is just so gentle and kind but still comes off like “You’re about to make a big mistake, don’t be stupid sir!” If you’ve ever had a friend who was suicidal, or just plain depressed, you absolutely love Superman in this scene which just makes it all the more horrifying when Superman is shot and he feels his chest and sees the blood.
• If this movie is sold on the threat of the death of the Justice League, it does not disappoint! It never once fails to scare you into thinking the League are finished. The only scene I’d say really follies on that point is Hal’s and to be fair, that scene was going for something else. The animation in this film is very key! The anime-esque style they use here is really great for the expressiveness of the faces! Especially in this scene here where Bruce is buried alive by Bane!

CONS:

• It feels like any hero really could’ve replaced Cyborg.
• I haven’t read the storyline this movie is based on, but I am aware that the Lantern we had was originally Kyle Rayner and the Flash was originally Wally West. Why change it? And why swap out a Mexican-American man for a white guy? That sounds kinda fishy if you ask me.
• I really feel like Nathan Fillion is underutilized here, he obviously loves playing the Green Lantern, why only give so many scenes?
• And more importantly, why doesn’t Carol try to kill Hall? Why does she only leave a blubbering mess mourning a woman who looks like her. I’m not saying heroes shouldn’t be emotional, but after watching the man of steel get shot, a man being set on fire, the fastest man alive racing until he can’t keep going to prevent a bomb from going off, the woman who won’t back down from a fight about to experience a heart attack for it, and the most emotionally damaged hero ever being buried with the corpse of his long dead father, this feels kind of weak.
• I can understand the League feeling uncomfortable with knowing Batman came up with plans to immobilize them, but why are they so offended? It was a good idea!
• In the scene where Hal has to hold back the solar flare from reaching Earth, I would’ve liked to actually see him trying to fight to keep it back. We get the impression this is difficult, yes, but it’s a freaking solar flare! The only grunts and groans we get are the typical “Rrrrr! Grrrr!!! Rrrrr!!!” How about we get some “GRaH!!!!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! RRRRRRrrrrmmmM!!!!!” Show us the guy getting a nose bleed, show him really tightening his grip on his other arm, have him quoting the oath. Really sell us that this is taking all of Hal’s strength to pull this off. But no, we just get the typical, “boy this is hard!” routine.
• How would any of these plans somehow only immobilize the League? These plans could only ever be used to kill!
• I never cared for the final scene of this movie, it just felt so out of character for Batman to call the League his back up plan in case HE went rogue, especially when knows how to take out all of them. And it felt just as out of character for Clark to just sit there and hand him the kryptonite bullet for safe keeping after that comment.

All in all, I think the good outweighs the bad, but the bad is still pretty bad. I’m gonna give Justice League: Doom, a 7.8 out of 10!

DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - Superman/Batman: Apocalypse (2010)

Written In January 2014

 So here’s the thing, I watched this movie long before Public Enemies, and after watching that movie, I was taken back to an exchange from an episode of Suite Life of Zack & Cody. It was an episode where the employees of the Tipton and a rival hotel, called the Saint Mark, were competing in a bowling tournament, and the character of Estaban remarks, after a crushing defeat, that they “Stink like a donkey in August!” to which Arwin inquires “How does a donkey smell in, say, October?” Estaban quickly replies, “Better! Not good, but better.” That’s kind of how I feel about this movie, I wouldn’t quite call it good, but it is much much MUCH better than Superman/Batman: Public Enemies, and while that’s a low bar to reach, this movie goes far beyond it. It doesn’t reach the heights of Under The Red Hood, Crisis on Two Earths, or First Flight, but it at least exceeds Mystery of the Batwoman and Brainiac Attacks. Let’s get to the plot.

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

Weeks after the events that led to Lex Luthor’s arrest, the impeachment of his presidency, and Batman’s success in saving the world from the impact of an arriving meteor, a spaceship lands in Gotham City Harbor and a young girl with no knowledge of English or any other human languages emerges. She accidentally causes all sorts of havoc with her Kryptonian-like powers until the Dark Knight exposes her to a piece of Kryptonite. WithSuperman’s help, they discover that the girl is Kara Zor-El, the niece of Jor-El and Superman/Kal-El’s biological cousin. While Superman welcomes Kara and teaches her English and how to behave in society, Batman remains suspicious. Tipped off by Batman, Wonder Woman and Lyla ambush Clark Kent and Kara in a park and take Kara to Themyscira, on the basis that only there can she learn to control her powers. Superman reluctantly agrees, but still prefers to watch over Kara himself.

Elsewhere, on the planet Apokolips, Darkseid learns of Kara’s presence on Earth, and orders her to be captured and brought to Apokolips as a possible candidate to lead the Female Furies since the departure of Big Barda. While Batman and Superman are checking on Kara on Themyscira, a horde of Doomsday clones arrive from Apokolips. Superman, Wonder Woman and the Amazonian army fight them for a while until Superman vaporizes all of them with a single blast of his heat vision, but Batman discovers that Kara is missing, and Lyla has been killed by Darkseid’s Omega Beams while trying to prevent her abduction. Distraught, Superman vows revenge. Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman locate and recruit Barda to help them find their way on Apokolips. Once there, Superman tears his way to Darkseid’s palace while Wonder Woman and Barda go through the sewers directly into the fighting arena, where they are ambushed by Granny Goodness and the Female Furies. After a long fight, Granny and the Furies are subdued. Batman, meanwhile, makes his way underground and finds the Hell Spores, the source of the fire pits on Apokolips, and activates them.

Superman encounters Darkseid, who sets the brainwashed Kara on him. Kara pummels Superman while Darkseid watches, until Batman confronts Darkseid and informs him that he has activated the Hell Spores, all of which will destroy Apokolips. He issues Darkseid an ultimatum: free Kara and promise to leave her alone, and Batman will deactivate the Spores. Intrigued, Darkseid admits his admiration for Batman’s tactics. Acknowledging that neither Superman nor Wonder Woman have the “strength of character” to destroy an entire planet, Darkseid relents. Superman manages to defeat Kara, and Barda and Wonder Woman present Darkseid with the subdued Granny. Defeated, Darkseid allows them to leave Apokolips. With their lives normal again, Clark decides to take Kara to meet his adoptive parents in Smallville. However, they are ambushed by Darkseid, who was waiting to kill Superman; he had promised to leave Kara alone, but not Superman or Earth. Superman is blasted into orbit by Darkseid’s Omega Beams, leaving Kara to face Darkseid alone.

A lengthy battle ensues with Kara (having received both Amazonian and Apokoliptian training) putting up a respectable fight, but Darkseid eventually overpowers her. Superman recovers and returns to Earth to confront Darkseid again. He gains the upper hand and pummels Darkseid using a combination of punches and heat vision at super speed. Darkseid grabs Superman and begins attacking him with Omega Beams. As Superman’s skin starts to glow red hot from the assault, Kara uses Darkseid's Mother Box to activate a Boom Tube behind Darkseid. Superman uses the momentary distraction to his advantage and pushes Darkseid through. While Superman anticipates Darkseid’s eventual return from Apokolips, Kara informs him that she changed the coordinates to a random spot in space, leaving Darkseid floating around frozen in ice. Having saved her cousin’s life and found her place on Earth, Kara decides to use her powers to fight foraltruism under the alias of Supergirl. She is met with applause by Wonder Woman, the Amazons, and finally, Batman. Superman and Supergirl then fly off to Metropolis.

Okay, here’s the thing this movie has more pros than it does cons, but the cons it does have are in my opinion, very big cons, that cost this movie a lot. I… I don’t wanna say it, Rihanna, can you say it for me?

Thank you, I take back 89% of the bad thing I said about your music… Okay, 86… No, 78… You know what, I’ll just call you back later when I’ve reached a number. Let’s get into the pros and cons about this movie.

PROS:

• Tim Daly is Superman.
• Kevin Conroy is Batman.
• Susan Eisenberg is Wonder Woman!
• Summer Glau as Supergirl! This is a really great casting choice! Also, I can’t help but be reminded of her character in Firefly given Kara’s situation, haha.
• While I think the material he’s given is pretty generic bad guy stuff, I think Andre Braugher does a pretty darn good job as Darkseid!
• The action is great
• Big Barda is in this movie, and she kicks ass!
• While on Apolkolips, there’s this amazing fight sequence with Big Barda and Wondy on one side, and Granny Goodness’s furies, and it is amazing! Some of the best action I’ve seen in these movies!

CONS:

• The fight between Darksied and Kara & Clark feels extremely tacked on. This movie should’ve just ended with Clark and Kara walking into the Kent House and been welcomed by Clark’s Ma and Pa, and sat down for some apple pie or something.
• Wonder Woman is pretty in character, but I’m not sure if she can be called Wonder Woman, because in one scene she says something Wonder Woman would NEVER say! When Diana and Clark are debating over what should be done with Kara, the younger girl pipes and says “Hey, don’t I have a say in this?” In unison Wondy and Supes both reply “No!” That’s kind of out of character for Superman, but at least he recants it. Wonder Woman however, would never say she knows what’s better for someone than they do, especially not a woman! Age be damned!
• Superman would not just roll over for Diana if she assumes she knows what’s better for her cousin than he does. And he wouldn’t just let things happen without Kara’s input. He’d ask her, “Kara, do you want to do this? Yes? Well I’m not sure, but if you say so.” Or “No? Alright then, we won’t.” He wouldn’t roll over and let someone else decide for his cousin.
• Batman is admittedly pretty in character, but the extent of his mistrust in this movie is horribly exaggerated. He wouldn’t trust Kara at first admittedly, but he would be so out of caution. Here, it comes off like outright xenophobia. Like he doesn’t trust her purely because he doesn’t know her.
• This one is more of a nitpick, but after the fight with Amazons in the park, Diana remarks that Kara used her heat vision against them and just wound up slicing up a bunch of trees and Superman’s statue. Superman himself has used that move a million different times! And the only reason she did use that move is because they fucking attacked her!

All in all, I liked this movie better than the last time I watched it, and I liked it much better than the last movie with “Superman/Batman” in the title, but I’d rather just put on Crisis or First Flight on. Superman/Batman: Apocalypse gets a 6 out of 10.

DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - Superman/Batman: Public Enemies (2009)

Written In January 2014 

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

LexCorp’s CEO, Lex Luthor, has been elected President of United States during a severe nation-wide economic depression. Under his leadership, the economy begins to thrive and he assembles a force of government-employed superheroes consisting of Captain Atom, Starfire, Katana, Black Lightning, Power Girl, andMajor Force. Meanwhile, Superman and Batman maintain their distrust toward Luthor.

The United States government discovers that a massive Kryptonite meteor is hurtling toward Earth. Instead of asking superheroes for aid and wanting to take credit for himself, Luthor decides to destroy it with nuclear missiles. Luthor arranges a meeting with Superman in Gotham City under the pretense of forming a pact. This results in a battle between the hired Metallo and Superman and Batman. Following the heroes’ escape, Metallo is killed by an unknown assailant.

On national television later that night, Luthor pins Metallo’s murder on Superman, using footage of their battle to implicate him. Luthor claims that the radiation being emitted by the meteor can affect Superman’s judgment, and he places a one-billion-dollar bounty on the Man of Steel.

While breaking into S.T.A.R. Labs seeking information on the meteor, Batman and Superman find Metallo’s remains and realize that intense radiation has killed him. They are then attacked by an army of villains looking to collect on the bounty. The army includes: Silver Banshee, Captain Cold, Icicle, Killer Frost, Mr. Freeze, Gorilla Grodd, Bane, Black Manta, Black Spider, Brimstone, Catman, Cheetah, Copperhead, Deadshot, Kestrel, King Shark, Brutale, Despero, Giganta, Girder, Lady Shiva, Mongul, Captain Boomerang II, Nightshade, Parasite, Solomon Grundy, and Shrike. After some effort, most of the villains are defeated. The remaining villains are defeated by Captain Atom, who has arrived with Luthor’s superhero team to arrest Superman. All but Power Girl, whose loyalties are divided, attempt to capture the heroic duo. Superman creates a twister using his superspeed, and the two heroes escape with Power Girl.

In Metropolis, Power Girl admits that she feels unnerved by Luthor and doesn’t believe Superman killed Metallo. Luthor’s superheroes catch up and the fight begins anew, this time with Power Girl aiding Superman and Batman. The Dark Knight realizes that Major Force killed Metallo under Luthor’s orders and goads him into admitting it in front of everyone. In anger, Power Girl punches him in the stomach with so much force that it ruptures his containment suit. Captain Atom, ashamed at his complicity in Luthor’s misdeeds, absorbs the energy, disintegrating Major Force and injuring himself in the process.

Meanwhile, Luthor’s missiles fail to stop the meteor when the sheer amount of radiation being emitted by it detonates them before impact. Amanda Waller later discovers that Luthor has secretly been taking a serum composed of liquid kryptonite and Bane’s Venom since the last days of the presidential election campaign, making him lose whatever rationality he had left. Feeling disillusioned by his failure in destroying the meteor with his missiles, Luthor decides to let the meteor hit the Earth so that he may rule over what remains of society. Batman and Superman attempt to break into Luthor’s base of operations to retrieve data on the meteor’s radiation. They end up in battle with Captain Marvel and Hawkman, eventually emerging victorious with Power Girl’s (off-screen) aid. Though Luthor refuses to relinquish the data, going so far as to erase it from the lab computers, Waller gives them a copy, being disgusted with Luthor’s plans. Batman and Superman fly off to Tokyo to deliver the data on the meteor to the Japanese Toyman, who has already built a giant rocket-propelled spacecraft, intending to use it as a large missile to stop the meteor. Waller and the military then attempt to arrest Luthor, but he injects himself with more kryptonite/venom and dons a power suit. After escaping Waller and the military, Luthor follows Superman and Batman overseas.

After Batman and Superman arrive at Toyman’s base, he shows them the spacecraft, which resembles a giant, robotic composite version of Superman and Batman. With the data, Toyman is able to calculate the necessary reinforcements needed for his own rocket so it won’t explode before impact like Luthor’s missiles did. Unfortunately, the arriving Luthor neutralizes Power Girl, Superman and Batman, and then disables the rocket’s remote guidance systems so that it won’t take off by itself. Having no other choice, Batman decides to fly the rocket himself, despite Superman’s protests. Though initially faring poorly against Luthor and his kryptonite power suit, the rage over losing his best friend allows Superman to gain the upper hand, and after an aerial chase leading them all the way back to Metropolis, he defeats him in the streets there. Batman succeeds in destroying the meteor, and Superman finds him alive and well in an escape pod.

With the truth of Metallo’s death now public knowledge, Superman is cleared of the murder charge and Luthor is arrested and taken away to face trial and impeachment for his crimes. Batman then returns to Gotham while the Daily Planet’s star journalist, Lois Lane, arrives and happily embraces the Man of Steel.

This movie has multiple strikes against it, so I’m going strait to cons!

CONS:

• Heroes Fighting Other Heroes. That is a stupid plot device, heroes don’t always get along, but they’re smart enough to not slug it out in the streets. Not in this movie though!
• President Luthor. Who in their right mind would vote for a super villain?
• Kids Movie That’s Not For Kids. This didn’t need to be what it is. Take out the language and tone down the action, this is not a PG-13 movie, not with these God awful character designs.
• Lex Luthor Is CRAZY! He’s not supposed to be crazy you fucking morons! He’s a Goddamn businessman!
• Superman and Batman aren’t Superman and Batman: Clark Kent is a Pulitzer Prize winning Journalist! Bruce Wayne has multiple degrees in science and engineering and is a master detective! But why are they both acting like complete morons!
• This Toyman kid is irritating as hell!
• Power Girl is without motive in siding with Batman & Superman or Lex.
• You have LeVar Burton as Black Lightning, Geordie from Star Trek: TNG and the host of Reading Rainbow, and you only give him one line in the entire fucking movie!?? What the hell??
• The action is often pointless.
• Amanda Waller is wasted, utterly wasted!
• They made a boob joke about Power Girl… And they wouldn’t let a character actually say the word "boobs" … THIS IS PG-FUCKING-13!!! YOU DON’T NEED TO BE SO DAMN SHEEPISH ABOUT A WOMAN’S BREASTS FOR FUCK’S SAKE!

PROS:

• Tim Daly, Kevin Conroy, Clancy Brown, and CCH Pounder all give very good performances in this movie.
• Allison Mack, Chloe Sullivan from Smallville, does a pretty nice job as Power Girl.
• The opening credits sequence was pretty cool.
• The score was really good, although it reminded me a lot of the Mission Impossible theme.

Okay, so all that being said, I’m going to give this movie a 2.4 out of 10. I don’t give a damn what anyone says, this movie is worse that Batman Forever, Batman & Robin, Superman III, and Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, COMBINED! At least those are entertaining bad movies.

DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - Superman: Braniac Attacks (2006)

Written In January 2014

 

So we’re back to Mystery of the Batwoman territory here, are we? We’re not gonna have another mature movie this time? Well, I guess I’ll have to wait for the next movie. Okay, time for the plot summary.

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen are sent to one of Lex Luthor’s laboratories after Brainiac arrives on Earth on a meteor, successfully dodging the attempts made by Luthor’s satellite to destroy any potential damage to the Earth (in an attempt to boost his popularity against Superman as the true hero of the people). Superman shortly arrives and finds Brainiac downloading data from the computers with information relating the various forms of weaponry from LexCorp, including the laser-equipped meteor shield that had attempted to destroy Brainiac earlier. Using his ice-breath, Superman is able to seemingly destroy Brainiac, after Superman and Brainiac had engaged in battle.

Witnessing the incident, and how his satellite could be used as an effective weapon against Superman, Luthor gathers a piece of Brainiac’s remains and takes it to LexCorp where Brainiac is revived. There, Luthor proposes that Brainiac, with the technology of LexCorp as well as Kryptonite, defeat Superman, and then Luthor step in to chase Brainiac away from the Earth, in front of the world to make him appear as Earth’s true hero, where he will then be free to conquer other planets. Brainiac accepts the agreement, and proceeds to rebuilding and improving himself.

Meanwhile, Clark Kent contemplates the idea of revealing his secret identity to Lois. The opportunity presents itself when editor, Perry White, due to staff shortages, send both Kent and Lane to review a restaurant in Metropolis. However, it is during this time that Brainiac returns. Among his improvements is the ability to track down Superman based on his DNA. After another fight between Superman and Brainiac, Superman has been significantly injured, and infected, by Brainiac’s power rays and Lois is injured in the process where it is revealed that her blood has been infected with a metallic-based poison, that if not treated would prove fatal.

Feeling guilty, Superman obtains a sample of Lois’ blood from the hospital and returns to the ‘Fortress of Solitude’ where he analyzes Lois’ blood using his Kryptonian technology. It is then when Superman discovers that the only cure for Lois’ condition is to obtain a chemical substance from the 'Phantom Zone’. However, Brainiac is able to locate Superman in his Antarctic retreat, and attempts to downloaded the information of Krypton from Superman’s computer. Superman then initiates a self-destruct sequence. Brainiac, not being able to locate Superman, presumes that he has been killed in the explosion. Superman had in fact gone into the Phantom Zone in order to find the chemical that would not only cure Lois and heal himself, but provide him with increased strength against Brainiac.

Brainiac returns to Metropolis where Luthor awaits in order to fulfill their agreement. Brainiac however, intends to kill Luthor in order to conquer Earth, and had even removed the self-destruct component that Luthor had planted should Brainiac double cross him. Returning to Metropolis, Superman and Brainiac fight. Superman seemingly defeats Brainiac and then returns to the hospital in order to cure the ailing Lois. However, Brainiac is able to destroy the chemical that would cure Lois, before Superman finally destroys Brainiac.

With the cure now destroyed, Lois faces certain death due to her illness. Superman, regretting never telling Lois his true feelings then embraces her. It is then that his tears, containing the chemical that had healed him earlier, makes contact with Lois, curing her. Later back in the arctic, Superman recovers a piece of his destroyed Kryptonian technology where he aims to rebuild his fortress. He then vows to quit his job at the Daily Planet in an attempt to prevent future harm to his loved ones, should any of his enemies discover his secret identity.

The film ends with Luthor facing criminal prosecution after the discovery of LexCorp’s involvement with Brainiac attack, and Lois Lane racing to cover the appearance of Mr. Mxyzptlk in Metroplois. Seeing Lois’ eagerness to put herself in harms way in order to cover a story, Superman goes back on his earlier decision to quit the Daily Planet so that he can be with Lois, as well as Metropolis’ protector against the most powerful threats from the universe.

First things first, this… Is a kiddie movie! While most of these movies have been rated PG, this is the first time we’re I truly felt this movie was not meant for someone my age. But regardless, let’s get to something to the stuff I liked and disliked.

PROS:

• Nice animation
• Dana Delany is Lois Lane, and she’s fantastic as usual!
• Good action
• Tim Daly 
• There’s a moment here where Jimmy Olsen and Perry White are talking at the Planet while Lois is in the hospital, Perry’s trying to get Jimmy to report on the Luthor dinner for him, and for a moment he seems distraught about Lois and what might happen to her and sounds like he might start crying. And Jimmy quickly tries to console him, and accepts his offer saying, “I’ll report anything you want me to, just not Miss Lane’s obid! Because she’s gonna be fine, ya hear me?” For one ever so brief and yet brilliantly shining moment, we see some maturity in this film. And I genuinely appreciated that.
• It’s not handled seriously, but when Superman goes to the fortress and Brainiac is about to absorb all it’s knowledge, Superman sets it to blow. Brainiac inquires why in horror, noting that all of Krypton’s knowledge will be lost. Superman replies, “Better lost, than abused!” This shows something that we don’t get to see that much. Superman genuinely treasures his alien heritage, and doesn’t want to see the knowledge of his people fall into the wrong hands. He’d rather the only piece of his planet that he has left, other than the very suit he wears, be destroyed than be used by someone like Brainiac.
• While Superman is searching for a way to save Lois, he says that nothing else matters but saving her. I hated this. BUT, later in the film, when returning from the Phantom Zone with the means to save her, the first thing he addresses is the ongoing destruction of Metropolis caused by Brainiac. This shows that as much as he may talk about the fact that he values loved ones over other innocent lives, Superman will still protect the people of Metropolis (and subsequently the Earth) before ever going to attend to the people he cares about most.
• There’s a scene where Superman seemingly defeats Brainiac during the final fight in Metropolis, but then it turns out he’s still alive. Superman then defeats Brainiac again, and makes sure to smash his hard drive. Because if Pacific Rim taught us anything, always check for a pulse!
• The ending scene where Lois takes off her hospital gown revealing she was wearing her reporter attire underneath it, and then running off to the scene of a crime being committed by Mr.Myxplyx, is so freaking Lois!
• There’s a scene where Clark decides to tell Lois he’s Superman, he doesn’t do so explicitly, but ala Christopher Reeve in Superman 2. He just changes HIS FREAKING POSTURE! And immediately Lois freaks out because she’s thinking “Oh! My! GOD! Is my coworker secretly the man I’ve openly fantasized about since God knows when!??!” This however, brings me to the cons…

CONS:

• Tim Daly is good in this movie, but he’s really let down by the direction.
• Powers Boothe’s Lex could’ve been great, but he was written to be so cartoony, not unlike Gene Hackman in the Christopher Reeve Superman movies.
• Brainiac is very poorly used.
• Clark chooses not to tell Lois he’s Superman because he claims he’s fearful of her safety, but honestly, I don’t buy. I think that after his hallucination in the Phantom Zone, he’s afraid Lois will try to pry him away from being a hero. Clark, it’s freaking Lois Lane! She’s not that damn shallow!
• Here’s what I don’t get with this movie; they kept the style from Superman: The Animated Series but they changed some of the cast… Why? Those voices were and are the only ones that come from those designs! You can argue for George Newbern as Superman in Justice League, but his voice for Superman (and his voice period really) is pretty close to Tim Daly’s. It just doesn’t make any real sense to change the cast if your going to keep the designs, and I really doubt Corey Burton and Clancy Brown (Brainiac and Lex in the DCAU respectively) weren’t too busy to be called, since they voice act for a living!
• This one I really hated, Superman visits Lois in the hospital after finally defeating Brainiac, and it turns out Lois has died, Superman revives her through a plot device I have always HATED. Tear Magic! Why do I hate it? Skip to about 10:00 of this link here.
  
  

So as you can tell by this point, other than a few points here and there, I really did not enjoy watching this movie. It’s not awful, and if you’re a parent, an older sibling, an elementary school teacher, or an older cousin, I really recommend putting this on for getting those little ones to shut up for about an hour and a half. But other than that, if you’re over 7 years old or just a die hard Superman fan, I’d say skip it. I might revisit this and write up a comparison to Superman: Unbound after I review that one, but for now, I’m avoiding this like the plague. It’s too kiddie!

And yes, all of these movies, with the possible exception of Return of the Joker and Vs. Dracula, were made for kids. But even then, you could definitely kick back and enjoy them if you were older than say, 8 to 14 years old. It’s like with most Pixar movies, kids are the target audience, but there’s a reason you keep coming back even after you’ve grown out of that audience. Because there’s clever and heartfelt, and never treated you as kids, like morons. And even then, the older you got, the better the movies got because you started noticing little details that you didn’t notice when you were younger. I’m not comparing, say, Mask of the Phantasm, to something like Monster’s Inc., but it’s that kind of effect. They were mature films intended for a younger audience. This movie, it’s not mature. It’s for little kids. It’s something like the Backyardigans on Nick Junior, you’re not going to enjoy it, because it’s not meant for you.

But with that being said, I did like some parts of it, so I won’t give it a Rotten. I’ll be giving it an even 6 out of 10.