DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - Batman Vs. Robin (2015)

Written In July 2015

Watching this film in preparation for Justice League: Gods And Monsters is like filing your damn taxes in hopes of that big ass $500 return. It’s tedious as fuck, it’s not enjoyable at all, but you’re hoping that it’ll lead to something much much better and more entertaining, and God almighty do I hope that movie is good! As for this movie though?

Originally posted by storiesmakeyoufly

Well… I’ve definitely seen worse from DC Animation

Much

Much

Worse

So I guess there’s that…

Plot Summary Taken From IMDb:

While Damian Wayne struggles to cope with Batman’s no-killing rule, he soon starts to believe that his destiny lies within a secret society known as, The Court of Owls.

You know what’s a comic series I loved?

You know what’s another comic series I loved?

This movie was supposed to be based on both of those volumes and guess what?

They fucking fucked it up!

The Talons are boring antagonists, the Court of Owls aren’t even remotely threatening, the “Get the hell out of my cave!” Scene wasn’t nearly as badass as it was in the comic, the main Talon had potential as he was done here but that was completely wasted as it would turn out. So congrats J.M. DeMatteis and Jay Olivia, you squandered epic source material to make a crappy ass movie!

And that’s not me saying it, that’s Commissioner Gordon saying it! He lived through this shit, he knows what he’s talking about!

PROS:

• In terms of animation and backgrounds, this movie does a good job of setting up it’s atmosphere, kudos to you Oliva.
• The action throughout the film is pretty well done, I’m not always fond of why the fights are happening (we’ll get to that later) but I can never say I’m bored by the actual fighting.
• I like how the movie starts with Damian doing some detective work, we saw in Son of Batman that he was a little hothead (and he still is here) but now we see he’s actually got some brains rattling around in there and he knows how to actually use them, good job little guy!
• Everything relating to the Dollmaker is fucking fantastic! It’s creepy as hell for one, and two, the Dollmaker himself comes off as a suitably disgusting character that you still can’t help but feel sorry for. Which is an especially a great feat when you realize he’s voiced by freaking Weird Al Yankovic! MVP right here guys!
• I appreciate the very brief moment where Damian is trying talk himself out of killing the Dollmaker, repeating Bruce’s advice about prioritizing justice over vengeance.
• I like the very brief scene of Batman comforting the kidnapped children, that felt pretty in character.
• The early bonding scenes between Bruce and Damian are really good, I like the two of them talking about Charles Dickens and Bruce letting Damian having his own bowl of popcorn when they watch that western together.
• I like the idea of having Dick babysit Damian and I love how we get a little Starfire reference, I just wish it didn’t contain a pointless fight scene between Robin and Nightwing or further awkward attempts from DC Animation at being adult by making frank references to sex.
• On paper I really like the idea of Talon mentoring Damian and trying seduce him to the dark side so to speak, in practice I don’t really think it works, but I think it could’ve worked with a better writer than J.M. DeMatteis
• I have mixed feelings about the blonde chick Bruce is dating being the grandmaster, but on the positive side I think it’s an interesting twist, and it’d make sense to get close to such a valuable target. Plus, if Bruce isn’t 100% about joining the Court, you can just drop the bomb that you’re a member and think that him joining could only benefit the world and Gotham City.

CONS:

• I think there are times where this movie just doesn’t know what to say or what not say. There are bits of dialogue that either feel tacked on or were in the right ballpark but still off the mark. When Batman shows up in the middle of Damian’s fight with Dollmaker’s army of child soldiers with weaponized limbs, Damian says he doesn’t need any help, and Bruce repeats a sassy remark Damian gave him earlier. Or when Damian looks like he’s about to kill Bruce, Bruce just yells at him to kill him already if it’s really what he wants. These are both lines that just should’ve been omitted honestly.
• I really hate how when Bruce finds Damian standing over Dollmaker’s dead body, and Bruce asks Damian what he did, Damian just says “figure it out for yourself.

• Damian how do you expect Bruce to trust you more if you keep sneaking out, especially after he thinks you killed someone!

• Dick why do you think it’s a good idea to egg on your opponent when they’re a trained assassin that happens to be a temperamental child?

• Alfred you know better than to do something as stupid as lower security so Damian can get through! What kind of idiot are you J. M. DeMatteis?

• You know if this story is focusing on Damian, why’re you giving us a flashback about Bruce? Also, why’re you implying that the court of owls actually did kill Bruce’s parents? Who do you think you are? Tim Burton?

• Lets get down to the brass tacks here, a fight between Batman and Robin is pointless! I mean an argument is one thing, a physical skirmish is one thing, but a film where the entire premise leads to Batman and Robin duking out is pointless, especially when the Robin in question is a ten year old boy!
• At the end of the film Bruce and Damian decide to part ways because Damian can’t figure out who he is, admitting that he’s so confused by what Bruce, Thalia, and Ra’s have all taught him. Here’s the thing kiddo- No fuck that, here’s the thing J.M DeMatteis, HE’S FUCKING TEN YEARS OLD! NOBODY KNOWS WHO THE FUCK THEY ARE AT TEN! NOBODY CARES WHO THE FUCK THEY ARE WHEN THEY’RE TEN YEARS OLD! I know Damian isn’t exactly a normal ten year old, but he’s still a ten year old boy! And the fact that Bruce says Damian isn’t really a child only serves to irritate me further.

Originally posted by polystyrene-hat

Overall, Batman Vs. Robin is a waste of time. Mine, yours, everyone’s. It didn’t anger me as much as the above three films did, but it’s almost there. I’m gonna the film a 4.7 out of 10

DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - Son of Batman (2014)

Written In April 2014

 Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

Batman learns that he has a violent, unruly pre-teen son with Talia al Ghul named Damian Wayne who has secretly been raised by Ra’s al Ghul and the League of Assassins. When Ra’s al Ghul apparently dies after a battle with his former right-hand man Deathstroke, Batman must work to stop his long-lost son from taking revenge and guide him to a righteous path, in order for the pair to truly acknowledge each other as family.

Now, let me be blunt. This movie is not good, but the weird thing is it’s not really terrible. I can’t definitively say whether or not I think it has more pros or cons, and what’s weird is by all merits it should be a pretty good movie. It has two Firefly alum in the form of Sean Maher and Morena Baccarin as Nightwing and Thalia Al Ghul Thomas Gibson AKA Aaron Hotchner from Criminal Minds, Jason O'Mara is back as Batman who I thought was one of the few highlights of Justice League War *gag*, it has mother fucking Giancarlo Esposito AKA Gustavo Fring from Breaking Bad as the voice of Ra’s Al Ghul! And on the writing and directing end, this is Joe R. Lansdale, the guy who wrote Per Chance To Dream, arguably one of the greatest episodes of Batman: The Animated Series, along with one of my favorite DC Showcase shorts, Jonah Hex! As for the director, he directed some of my favorite episodes of Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Avatar and The Firelord, Nightmares And Daydreams, The Western Airtemple, The Blind Bandit, Return To Omashu, Bitter Work, Tales of Ba Sing Se. What could possibly go wrong?!

But something did, and I think I know what it is.

1. The Lazarus Pit literally brought Jason Todd back to life after he was killed in an explosion, so why the fuck can’t it do the same for Ra’s who was actually still conscious right before he reached the pit.
2. Since when was Slade ever Ra’s Al Ghul’s apprentice? According to the Batman Wikia, Deathstroke has only ever had Ra’s as a client, never his possible heir.

I mean, I get the feeling I wouldn’t care if I weren’t at least vaguely aware of these characters through comics, movies, video games, and animation. Like, if this were my first exposure to Slade Wilson and Ra’s Al Ghul, I likely wouldn’t care. But I am, so I do. But don’t get me wrong, this is not a bad movie! It is nowhere near the lows of Justice League War, and especially not Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox, or Superman/Batman: Public Enemies. There are several good things about it! And we’ll get into that now!

PROS:

• The little guy playing Damian is really good! He’s a little shaky in parts, but I’ll blame that more on direction. And speaking of direction!
• Giancarlo Esposito was one of my favorite parts of Breaking Bad, I was really excited when I read he was voicing Ra’s Al Ghul. He’s a little less noble king or a blood thirsty warlord, and a little more wizened old mentor. But he’s still terrific!
• Thomas Gibson does really great work, yeah he sounds a little bored at times, but he makes for a great Deathstroke. He’s got this sort of sarcastic Slade Wilson. Everything he says sounds really sort of dry, I kinda like it!
• Morena Baccarin does some really great work as Thalia, and it helps that she’s returning to DC animation actor having voiced Cheetah in an episode of the Brave and the Bold and Black Canary in three JLU episodes. She’s got the natural sex appeal of the character while still coming off as mothering and a badass warrior and leader.
• Jason O'Mara again does some pretty good work! Again, he’s not Kevin Conroy or Bruce Greenwood or even Rino Romano or Diedrich Bader, but he’s better than say, Ben McKenzie! Say, isn’t Ben attached to something else Batman related right now? Set to hit kind of soon actually? What was it again?
  
  Oh... Um… Well, hopefully he’s a better live action actor than a voice actor… Bastille tell the people how I'm feeling. Yeah listen to it for a minute I think you might get my thoughts on this matter.
• On a far more positive note, Sean Maher is PERFECT as Nightwing here! He is not in this movie nearly enough, but when he is here he is terrific!
• We got a bit of a wink towards the REALLY hardcore batfans. Some folks may consider Val Kilmer the forgotten Batman, seeing as how he’s between Michael Keaton, who kicked off the franchise, and George Clooney, who killed the franchise, and long before Christian Bale who resurrected it, and not as memorable as the delightfully camp Adam West Batman. But! Here, we have the truly forgotten Batman, Bruce Thomas, who played Batman in the pilot of episode of Birds of Pray and those silly little OnStar commercials from that ran from 2000 to 2002. And what’s he doing here? He’s voicing COMMISSIONER GORDON! And he’s not bad either, nice job Brucie.
• The action is nothing special, but it’s really good at times!

CONS:

• Why all the blood? This is Batman, not 300!
• Why is Deathstroke Ra’s Al Ghul’s former apprentice?
• I’ve never been a huge Damian fan so I wasn’t especially psyched to see him make his animated debut here I’m sorry to say.
• We get to see Dick holding a sword before Damian kills someone, we see him challenge the kid, then we cut to him on the phone with Bruce all bloodied up and cut with Damian tied to lamppost. We then don’t see him accompany Bruce and Damian on their missions until the final 10 minutes of the movie where Dick swoops in on the Batplane at the last second. Why do we not get to see Dick be a badass at any point?
• At one point Dick is arguing with Damian and he says he’ll never get to be Robin. What is the point of that scene when you literally know if you’ve seen the trailers or read the comics that that is literally who he becomes! And eventually Dick becomes his Batman! There’s no point to that scene.
• This is kind of a petty complaint, but why does Thalia’s shirt always have to be open in each and every single scene she has, except for a scene where she’s in a dress, which even then is cleavage-y as hell, has no back, and has a high slit on both sides of the actual skirt, I mean I realize there she’s coming onto Bruce, but what’s the actual point of making her so damn sexy all the damn time? I mean look at some of these character designs.
  
  
  Batman Beyond
  
  
  Batman: The Brave And The Bold
  
  
  Batman: Under The Red Hood
  
  
  Batman: Arkham City
  
  
  Miranda Tate in Dark Knight Rises
  
  
  Thalia Al ghul in Dark Knight Rises
  
  
  And Son of Batman… Yeeaah… And that’s not to say it’s somehow wrong to dress “sexily” in real life, but it doesn’t really make sense from a practical standpoint to dress like that if your supposed to be a badass ninja warrior. And you just know, that when they decided to make her wear this super cleavagey outfit, they weren’t thinking “This is something Thalia would wear because that’s what she likes.” they were thinking “This is something Thalia should wear because that’s gonna make strait teen guys like this movie more.” And I think we can both agree, that’s a load of crap.
• I kind of feel like a the quick Joker cameo we got, with Dee Bradley Baker doing the laugh, was kind of unneeded. In fact, I think showing off the fact that “We are in ARKHAM ASYLUM MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!” There’s no real point in it.

Overall, I can’t get really mad at this movie, I can’t really be disappointed with it because I wasn’t looking forward to it, and I’m ultimately not satisfied with it. I’m gonna go 6.65 out of 10.

I’ve seen better, I’ve seen worse. I don’t want to watch this one again, but I won’t suffer if I do. I’ll see you guys again before the year ends with a review of

Which doesn’t look a damn thing like those games and is being directed by this chump

maybe it won’t suck- Oh who the hell am I kidding?