Zack Snyder Retrospective Series - Army of the Dead (2021) & Justice Lea...

2021 is looking pretty great for Zack Snyder!

DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - Justice League: Throne of Atlantis (2015)

Written In January 2015

 Let me save us all some time and cut this review short.

Are we done now?

Fuck you Louis CK! You don’t have to review movies that aren’t worth talking about!

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

After the events of Justice League: War, Ocean Master and Black Manta have declared a war against the surface in retaliation of the aftermath of Apokoliptian-tyrant Darkseid’s planetary invasion. Queen Atlanna seeks out her other son, Ocean Master’s half-brother Arthur Curry, a half-human with aquatic powers with no knowledge of his Atlantean heritage, to restore balance.

Living with powers he doesn’t understand and seeing the danger around him, Curry takes steps to embrace his destiny, joining the Justice League, and with his new teammates he battles to save Earth from total destruction.

Here is my open letter to DC’s animation department, you made this

This

This

And This

And then you just started making this crap?

I refuse to believe you are giving me anything close to your best, c’mon DC! You are better than this! You don’t owe me or anyone else anything, because at the end of the day, your live action films and your video games will easily make more money than these projects, but please, for the sake of making a product you can genuinely take pride in, step up your fucking game!

"PSST!"

What is it non existent voice that I’m making up to segway into a point?

"Look at this!"

Okay, let me read this. Let’s see, we’ve got:

Batman Vs. Robin: “A loose adaptation of Scott Snyder’s Court of Owls series with Jason O’Mara, Stuart Allan, Sean Maher, and David McCallum reprising their roles from Son of Batman.” That sounds good so far. I’ve read Court of Owls, that’s some pretty awesome material, what else have we got? “With Jeremy Sisto, Kevin Conroy, and Weird Al Yankovic as Talon, Thomas Wayne, and The Dollmaker respectively.” Alright, who’s behind the camera for this one?

*heavy sigh* Jay Olivia is directing, of course this was too good to be true. But who’s the irrelevant hack writing? *looks back* Oh, we’ve got J. M. DeMatteis, he wrote some of my favorite episodes Justice League Unlimited, take a look at this guy’s credits! Yeah that looks kinda cool, I mean, it’ll probably suck at worst and be okay at best, but at least I have something worth being disappointed about! Good God, these movies are making me so pessimistic. C’mon DC, give me something that’ll wash that away, give me something that-

What?

No, it can’t be!

Is it?

IT IS! YOU GUYS DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW GREAT THIS IS! Alan Burnett and Bruce Timm basically co-created the entire original DC animated universe with Paul Dini! And Sam Liu co-directed Crisis On Two Earths and Year One with Lauren Montgomery, and also just plain directed Hulk Vs. and Planet Hulk! THIS IS FANTASTIC NEWS! DON’T FUCK THIS UP DC!

Okay, enough of that optimism and hope for the future, let’s get into why the present is sort of eh.

PROS:

• Matt Lanter, best known as the voice of Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars: Clone Wars, does a pretty good job here as Arthur. He definitely makes him likable and gives him a certain charm, and he sells some of the more silly moments like when he’s drunkenly voicing his sorrows to a restaurant lobster that’s about to cooked and boiled.
• Sumalee Montano does an adequate job of voicing Mera, I don’t really know the character all that well so I can’t say if she should sound the way she does, but all I can say is she did a decent job. Nothing memorable, but that beats the hell out of being terrible. If you wanna hear something more memorable, listen to her portrayal of Katana on Beware The Batman.
• Jerry O’Connell takes over for Alan Tudyk here as Superman and I gotta say I think he sounds more like the classic Supes than Alan did, admittedly Alan wasn’t playing the classic Supes, but I like the classic Supes better. He seems like less of an arrogant douchenozzle than last Superman, so I like him more.
• This Wonder Woman has improved and THANK GOD FOR IT! She’s less obnoxious, she doesn’t spend her time pointing her sword randomly at people, or tossing her lasso of truth onto people who just say they don’t like her, it’s a RELIEF! And honestly, Rosario Dawson does a pretty good job of voicing her. Much improved over Michelle Monaghan, God love her.
• Nathan Fillion, Jason O’Mara, Shemar Moore, and Christopher Gorham are all pretty good as Hal, Bruce, Victor, and Barry respectively. They all do the same good work they did in their previous credits, let’s move on.
• The only time that this movie really impressed me was this dream sequence where a human Victor was out jogging with this beautiful woman, when suddenly he’s confronted by an empty version of his Cyborg armor, it tells him it’s time to go and Victor pleads with it to give him more time. This movie very briefly makes you think it’s about to do something interesting and then… it doesn’t. But it was nice to think so, even for a minute.
• I think we may gotten ourselves a cameo from Steel, isn’t that awesome?
• The Wonder Woman/Superman romance is done much much MUCH better this time! It still feels forced, but I think this time they’re playing it more like “these are two people who are afraid of being alone, so they pretend to be in love.” As opposed to “These people are totally in love!!!!” And honestly, I think if they played with that more than the movie’s 72 minute run time would allow it could be a lot more interesting, the idea that these two are brave enough to fight monsters and alien armies, but they haven’t the courage to admit to each other they aren’t in love and may have feelings for other people like say...
  
  
  
  
  I’m just saying.
• The Lex Luthor stinger at the end was pretty cool, I must admit.
• Harry Lennix does a good job as Black Manta, damn shame he was the bad guy they had to kill in the end.

CONS:

• Sam Witwer is a really great actor, in fact he does a wicked Emperor Palpatine! But his talent is wasted on this annoying character. Ocean Master is a terrible villain, I really wish it was Black Manta that got to be the villain at the end. But maybe he had to be killed instead because Orm is easier to manipulate than David.
• WHO THE FUCK DECIDED IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO KEEP MAKING BILLY BATSON A FUCKING ANNOYING SHITHEAD?!?! HE’S A GOOD KID! QUIT MAKING HIM SO DAMN ANNOYING FOR FUCK’S SAKE! 
• Juliet Landau does not make for a very good Lois Lane.
• So much of the stuff in Atlantis is telegraphed, you know what’s gonna happen as soon as the characters are set up. Atlanna is going to insist on not going to war, while Orm and David continue to set up for one, at some point Atlanna is going to reveal that she knows what they’re doing and then before she can enact disciplinary action for their treasonous behavior one of them will murder her. And guess what happens? Exactly that! It’s really fucking stupid! And it’s really fucking bad writing! Work on that!

All in all, this movie is a decent way to waste time. If you’re a hardcore DC fan, give it a watch. If you’re a hardcore animation fan, give it a watch. If you’re a big Aquaman fan, give it a shot. Otherwise, I wouldn’t say this is something you need to see. I’m gonna give Justice League: Throne of Atlantis, a 6 out of 10.

DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - Justice League Doom (2012)

Written In January 2014

Here’s the short version, just not quite as good as New Frontier, nowhere near as good as Crisis on Two Earths. Stay tuned for the long version!

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

The film revolves around Vandal Savage’s plot to exterminate the greater part of the human population and start a new civilization. To ensure that the Justice League is unable to stop him, Savage hires Mirror Master, who hacks into the Batcomputer using a device made by LexCorp and steals contingency plans devised by Batman to incapacitate his League teammates should they ever go rogue. Savage assembles a group of supervillains with personal vendettas against the heroes and pays them richly to simultaneously attack the members of the League using these plans, albeit altered to be lethal.

The villains each do their part to take out the Justice League:

• Batman is informed by Alfred Pennyworth that the bodies of Thomas and Martha Wayne have been exhumed and are missing. When Bruce Wayne arrives at his parents’ graves, he is ambushed by Bane. The emotional distraction is enough to grant Bane the upper hand and render his adversary unconscious. Bruce is then placed into his father’s coffin which is reburied. He wakes up to the horrifying prospect of dying of asphyxiation next to his father’s corpse. Batman comes close to accepting his fate but, motivated by the memory of his parents’ murder, is able to dig his way out of the grave. He soon realizes that the League has been attacked using his own contingency plans. With help from Cyborg, he saves his teammates one by one.
• Wonder Woman is attacked by Cheetah who scratches her arm, sending nanomachines into her bloodstream. The microscopic machines attach themselves to her brain stem and begin broadcasting directly into her visual and auditory sensors. This fools Wonder Woman into thinking that everyone she sees is a duplicate of Cheetah. The illusion is designed to exploit her competitive nature, by sending her into a never-ending battle. Since she would never surrender, she will force herself to fight until her body gives out, thanks to the drugs the nanomachines were carried in, causing her to suffer an epileptic seizure or a heart attack. Cyborg adjusts his sonic emitter to a frequency that neutralizes the nanites.
• The Martian Manhunter (in his human identity of John Jones) is celebrating his birthday with his colleagues from the police force. He receives a soda from a mysterious woman (who is actually Ma'alefa'ak in disguise). The drink is laced with magnesium carbonate, which is poisonous to Martian biology. The Manhunter’s body is capable of curing itself, but only by sweating out the magnesium which is highly flammable. Ma'alefa'ak uses a lighter to set his enemy on fire (J'onn’s only weakness), leaving him to burn alive without the possibility to extinguish the flames. Batman provides Cyborg and Wonder Woman with a chemical (Aluminium oxide) that when injected into the Martian, neutralizes the magnesium.
• The Flash is lured into a trap by Mirror Master who pretends to rob a train. The villain then uses a hologram of an elderly woman to create the illusion that he had a hostage. The whole scenario is only intended to trick the Flash into placing his arm into a booby trap that attaches a bomb to his wrist. The bomb will explode and kill everyone within three miles if the hero tries to remove it or if he does nothing. The only way to prevent the explosion is to run and never decelerate, but even the Flash cannot run forever. Batman instructs him to run and vibrate his molecules through an entire glacier in the Arctic to get rid of the bomb. Flash gets away from the blast radius.
• Green Lantern is called upon by the FBI to deal with a group of terrorists who have taken hostages into a salt mine. However the truth is that both the terrorists and the hostages are sophisticated androids. The entire setting is part of a complex deception that fools Green Lantern into thinking that innocent lives are lost due to his overconfidence. The hero is also exposed to a synthesized version of the Scarecrow’s fear gas that undermines his will. Finally, Star Sapphire shows up and exploits his fears, convincing him that he does not deserve the power he wields. Green Lantern renounces his ring, without which he cannot escape from the collapsed salt mine. The weakened hero resigns to his fate. Batman shows him that the hostage was an android when he takes its head off and offers him an antidote to the gas. Jordan rejects it with his will now resolved.
• Superman is lured to the roof of the Daily Planet by a disillusioned former employee named Henry Ackerson, who aims to commit suicide by either jumping off or shooting himself. Superman tries to talk him out of it, and appears to have succeeded, when Ackerson unexpectedly shoots the hero instead. It is then revealed that the suicide ploy was meant to trick Superman into lowering his guard, that the former employee was being impersonated by Metallo, and that the bullet was made of Kryptonite, the only material that can harm Kryptonians. A fatally wounded Superman falls from the top of the building. The Kryptonite is surgically extracted by Cyborg (who uses a kryptonite scalpel laser) and Martian Manhunter (who shapeshifts his fingers and gets the bullet out) and Superman regains consciousness.

The Justice League retreats to the Watchtower, where Batman reveals that he was the real mastermind behind the attacks, having studied the others for physical and psychological weaknesses. However, he also had a contingency in place should the Batcomputer ever be hacked: a tracing algorithm hidden in his files. This enables the League to track down the Legion of Doom.
The villains are subdued, but the heroes fail to prevent Savage’s scheme to orchestrate an apocalyptic cataclysm with a powerful solar flare. Using information obtained by Cyborg, Batman devises a last minute plan and the League barely manages to save the Earth. The World Court sentences the immortal Vandal Savage to life imprisonment without possibility of parole.

In the aftermath of their victory, the Justice League votes to add Cyborg to their roster. Superman calls for a vote on Batman’s continued membership in the team, following the revelation of the latter’s breach of trust. However, Batman defends his plans and expresses no regret over his actions. He leaves the Justice League, saying “I don’t need to wait for a vote, I don’t belong here.”

In the final scene, Superman entrusts Batman with the Kryptonite bullet, agreeing with the concept of having safeguards in place should the League members ever fall to villainy or mind control - but not without first questioning him about Bane’s attack. It is revealed that exhuming the bodies of Thomas and Martha Wayne was entirely Savage’s idea. Superman asks Batman if he is still so arrogant that he did not bother to create a plan to stop himself, but Batman replies that there is one: the Justice League.

So here’s the thing, I honestly like this movie. I do. I love the cast, I like the story, I always enjoy seeing Cyborg getting to do something, and blah blah blah. But there were always a couple issues I had with the movie.

1. If you’re intent on getting the individual Justice League members’s worst enemies, then why the hell did you go for Metallo and Bane for Superman and Batman? I mean admittedly, they’re probably easier to manipulate than their actual worst enemies since; A. Lex has enough money and would likely screw Vandal over in the end. B. The Joker doesn’t give a fuck about money (except for TNBA where he and Harley went sort of broke) and would ABSOLUTELY screw Vandal over in the end. So it’s one of those things like, that makes sense, but you could’ve done better.
2. Everyone seems so offended that Batman would come up with plans to take out the League, or just members of it, if need be. Why? Superman can shoot volcano levels of heat from his eyes and breath blizzards! The entire Amazon race could level the world of a men inside a month if they felt the need! Sinestro turned his back on the core, who’s to say Hal or another Green Lantern wouldn’t too? The Flash can cause all kinds of destruction with his speed if he feels the need. Unless you know that Martians hate fire, J'Onn could take over the planet in no time. These are all people that there needs to be a plan for in case they are manipulated or corrupted. But everyone acts like it’s a betrayal of trust.
3. I’m fine with a Justice League movie that worships the almighty BATGOD, but at least let the other characters get a word in. When Batman’s leaving the League, Superman calls him out on his arrogance and asks him if he even thought to make a plan for himself. Batman replies that the League is his plan. If that isn’t bad enough, Superman smirks at him and acts like he didn’t just say something incredibly arrogant and stupid.
   

But ultimately, those don’t feel like bad enough details, especially since Crisis sort of worships Batgod, but that movie simply showed Batman as an intelligent combatant as opposed to the man who could even best freaking Galactus if given about 10 days. And that’s the version of Batman I hate, the version that says “Batman iz relatable becuz he’s human!” Relatable despite the fact that he’s more of a superhero than the actual super powered heroes. But regardless, you see that kind of stupid talk from morons online all the time. Why did that really bug me here? Well I think I finally put my finger on it, it’s… drum roll please!

We all know that Batman doesn’t kill, correct? The man himself says that the reason these plans almost got the League killed was because he repurposed them to kill. To repurpose something is to simply tweak it slightly, to take something meant for one thing and change it just a LITTLE to make it work for something similar. Well here’s the thing, I see these plans and other than the signature Kryptonite thing, I don’t see anything about them that Batman would use. They’re too cruel. Like lighting J'Onn on fire? Or making Diana think that every person she sees is Cheetah in order to induce a heart attack? I don’t see what these plans could’ve been originally, I don’t see what Batman would’ve done if these plans were used as intended. And that bugs me a lot. But enough with that, let’s get into the actual pros and cons.

PROS:

• Kevin, Tim, Michael, Carl and Susan are all on their A-Game! Each and every single one of them slips on their signature roles like a glove and wears it like a well tailored suit.
• Nathan Fillion returns from Emerald Knights as Hal and I continue to enjoy his delightful presence in these films!
• I don’t know who Bumper Robinson is, but he does a real nice job as Cyborg. He’s not as good as Khary Payton, but Khary voiced the son of a bitch for 3 years so it’s unfair.
• I don’t know who the actor is who plays Bane, but he should do the character more often! Kudos to you Mr. Carlos Alazraqui!
• Claudia Black as Cheetah! Now this lady I know, she played a conwoman and eventual main character name Vala in Stargate SG1 and I always loved her on that show! She was so hilarious! This movie though, she ain’t funny! And I rather like that about this character, great work again Miss Black! Good to see you again!
• So Detective Lance (Paul Blackthorne) from Arrow voices Metallo… OH MY GOD! I mean the performance is fine enough but it is so weird to see him in this movie before that show had started yet!
• The asshole senator from Dollhouse (who was also on Buffy and Angel apparently) plays Mirror Master… Yep! It’s official, Bruce Timm and Andrea Romano are Whedonites! No doubt about it.
• So oddly enough, we have more actors from comic book TV shows voicing characters in this movie. We have Phil Morris, WHO PLAYED MARTIAN MANHUNTER IN SMALLVILLE (and the lawyer, Jackie Chiles in a few episodes of Seinfeld which kind of connects back to Superman again because 
  plays Vandal Savage, reprising the role from the Justice League animated series and still does great work here!
• Lois Lane gets a couple scenes in this movie and she’s voiced by Grey DeLisle, whom I adore, and she does great work in this role! It definitely won’t be one of her most remembered roles, but it’s a nice little footnote on her kickass career.
• Speaking of ass kicking, this movie has plenty of that and more! Lots of great action here!
• While I already gave praise to Kevin, Tim, Susan, Michael and Carl, I really feel I ought to give each of them separate amounts of praise for their work. I’ll start with Carl, now first off, look at this image. 
  Imagine how hard it would be to emote the feeling of the pain of being burned alive. Doesn’t sound easy does it? Now imagine having to display that MUCH pain through just your voice! Sounds easy right? 
  Having to put out that much emotion is hard enough, to do it through voice acting is nigh impossible. And Carl Lumbly nails it!
• I don’t have a ton to say about him through out this movie, but there are two scenes that I think Kevin nailed! One is the scene where he goes to the cemetery where his parents are supposed to be buried and he sounds absolutely furious that their bodies are missing. The other is the scene where he pieces together that some asshole is using his plans to attack his friends, he quickly tells Alfred that he needs to leave because the League is under attack, worriedly Alfred asks who are they under attack by. Batman quickly replies “Me!” Great delivery Kevin, but that’s nothing new.
• Michael Rosembaum, who also played Lex in Smallville, does a great job as The Flash in this movie. Granted he’s doing a different Flash than the one he did in Justice League/Justice League Unlimited (he’s doing Barry in this movie, he did Wally in the old show) but he still does good work. I especially love the bit where Batman tells him to go up to the arctic and run through a glacier so that it’ll get stuck in one. Barry almost completely out of breath, a disturbing thought in of itself for The Flash, says that he’s more than happy to do this, noting that at least this way, the only person dead would be him.
• Susan Eisenberg gets to play a Wonder Woman we don’t normally see, one who is simply to pooped to pop! She’s been taking down as many Cheetahs as she can, and they just keep coming, and she’s getting so tired. It’s wonderfully disturbing to see an exhausted Wonder Woman.
• Tim Daly really never gets the chance to play a dying Superman but he has a great scene where he has to try to talk down a suicidal reporter (Metallo in disguise) and he is just so gentle and kind but still comes off like “You’re about to make a big mistake, don’t be stupid sir!” If you’ve ever had a friend who was suicidal, or just plain depressed, you absolutely love Superman in this scene which just makes it all the more horrifying when Superman is shot and he feels his chest and sees the blood.
• If this movie is sold on the threat of the death of the Justice League, it does not disappoint! It never once fails to scare you into thinking the League are finished. The only scene I’d say really follies on that point is Hal’s and to be fair, that scene was going for something else. The animation in this film is very key! The anime-esque style they use here is really great for the expressiveness of the faces! Especially in this scene here where Bruce is buried alive by Bane!

CONS:

• It feels like any hero really could’ve replaced Cyborg.
• I haven’t read the storyline this movie is based on, but I am aware that the Lantern we had was originally Kyle Rayner and the Flash was originally Wally West. Why change it? And why swap out a Mexican-American man for a white guy? That sounds kinda fishy if you ask me.
• I really feel like Nathan Fillion is underutilized here, he obviously loves playing the Green Lantern, why only give so many scenes?
• And more importantly, why doesn’t Carol try to kill Hall? Why does she only leave a blubbering mess mourning a woman who looks like her. I’m not saying heroes shouldn’t be emotional, but after watching the man of steel get shot, a man being set on fire, the fastest man alive racing until he can’t keep going to prevent a bomb from going off, the woman who won’t back down from a fight about to experience a heart attack for it, and the most emotionally damaged hero ever being buried with the corpse of his long dead father, this feels kind of weak.
• I can understand the League feeling uncomfortable with knowing Batman came up with plans to immobilize them, but why are they so offended? It was a good idea!
• In the scene where Hal has to hold back the solar flare from reaching Earth, I would’ve liked to actually see him trying to fight to keep it back. We get the impression this is difficult, yes, but it’s a freaking solar flare! The only grunts and groans we get are the typical “Rrrrr! Grrrr!!! Rrrrr!!!” How about we get some “GRaH!!!!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! RRRRRRrrrrmmmM!!!!!” Show us the guy getting a nose bleed, show him really tightening his grip on his other arm, have him quoting the oath. Really sell us that this is taking all of Hal’s strength to pull this off. But no, we just get the typical, “boy this is hard!” routine.
• How would any of these plans somehow only immobilize the League? These plans could only ever be used to kill!
• I never cared for the final scene of this movie, it just felt so out of character for Batman to call the League his back up plan in case HE went rogue, especially when knows how to take out all of them. And it felt just as out of character for Clark to just sit there and hand him the kryptonite bullet for safe keeping after that comment.

All in all, I think the good outweighs the bad, but the bad is still pretty bad. I’m gonna give Justice League: Doom, a 7.8 out of 10!

DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - Justice League: Crisis On Two Earths (2010)

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

In an alternate universe, heroic analogues of Lex Luthor and the Joker (called the Jester) are attempting to steal a device from the headquarters of the Crime Syndicate. The pair trip an alarm but manage to secure the “Quantum Trigger”. The Jester sacrifices himself to allow Luthor to escape and kills J'edd J'arkus and Angelique (alternate versions of Martian Manhunter and Hawkgirl respectively) with a radioactive bomb. Luthor is confronted by the remaining Syndicate members - Ultraman, Superwoman, Power Ring, Johnny Quick and Owlman, but escapes to the Earth of the heroic Justice League by activating a dimensional travel device.

Luthor locates a police station and is mistaken for the evil Luthor where he ends up strip-searched. The Justice League are summoned andSuperman's x-ray vision confirms Luthor’s reversed organs indicate that he is from a parallel Earth and that the evil Luthor is still incarcerated atStryker’s Island. The Justice League take the alternate Lex Luthor to their Watchtower, where the heroes learn of the Syndicate threat. As the Justice League debate the matter, Luthor hides the Quantum Trigger on the satellite. With the exception of Batman, who decides to stay as he believes the League is too busy with their own issues, the group - Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Flash and Martian Manhunter - travel to Luthor’s Earth.

Arriving at the Justice League’s base on Luthor’s parallel Earth, the heroes encounter and defeat two of the Syndicate and their allies (also evil versions of heroes belonging to the League). After another battle in the skies above the base, the heroes regroup at the Jester’s headquarters and plan to attack Syndicate targets. After a successful series of raids and capturing Ultraman, the League confront United States President Slade Wilson. Wilson releases Ultraman and explains that acceding to the Syndicate’s demands saves millions of lives. His daughter, Rose, however, regards him as a coward. J'onn inadvertently reads her mind and explains that as a military man her father actually holds life more dear than others. J'onn foils an assassination attempt on Rose and the pair fall in love.

Owlman constructs a weapon, the Quantum Eigenstate Device or Q.E.D., which the Syndicate intend to use as the equalizer to the threat of a nuclear reprisal. When pressed by Superwoman, Owlman admits the weapon can destroy entire worlds. Believing there are many parallel Earths, and that each one develops from the choices that each person makes, Owlman becomes obsessed with the idea that nothing he does can possibly matter, as there will always be parallel worlds where he explored another option. Owlman begins fervently seeking Earth-Prime, the very first Earth from which all other universes originated. Owlman intends to use the weapon to destroy Earth-Prime, causing a chain reaction that would erase the entire multiverse, as it is the only action that would not result in the creation of another universe. He then sends Superwoman with three of her lieutenants to the League’s dimension, and on the Watchtower they battle Batman, Aquaman, Black Canary, Black Lightning, Firestorm and Red Tornado. Superwoman and one of her lieutenants escape with the Quantum Trigger, but are followed by Batman.

Batman tricks and defeats Superwoman, and summons the League. J'onn and Rose bond, and Rose decides to learn the location of the Syndicate base to allow the Justice League to confront them. The League arrive at the Crime Syndicate’s moonbase with captive Superwoman, and eventually battle the Syndicate. Owlman fights off Batman and takes the QED bomb to Earth-Prime, the original universe that contained the first alternate Earth. Earth-Prime turns out to be uninhabited and lifeless, having suffered a cataclysm that caused it to leave solar orbit. Luthor speculates that a speedster might be able to vibrate and match the temporal vibration of the teleported QED device and open a portal. Batman dissuades the Flash from attempting this and Johnny Quick volunteers and opens a portal.

Batman pursues Owlman to Earth-Prime, and although Owlman’s exoskeleton provides an edge he is ultimately tricked and teleported with the Q.E.D. device to another lifeless, uninhabited Earth with an orbital ring that either never coalesced into the Earth's Moon, or the shattered remnants of a Moon that passed too close to the Earth's Roche limit in that universe. Owlman decides not to abort the bomb’s countdown and states that “it doesn’t matter”. He is killed when the bomb detonates and destroys that alternate Earth but no others. Batman returns to discover that the strain of acting as a vibratory conduit has aged Johnny Quick to near death. Before dying, Johnny correctly deduces that Batman had anticipated this and prevented the Flash from trying to save him. J'onn returns, accompanied by President Wilson and the U.S. Marines, and together they arrest Ultraman, Superwoman, and Power Ring.

Wilson thanks the heroes, and although Rose asks J'onn to remain with her, the group return to their dimension. Wonder Woman retains the still-cloaked plane stolen from Owlman, and Batman and Superman discuss a membership drive, with the five heroes summoned previously greeting the League.

PROS:

• Really cool story, I love movies about heroes interacting with their mirror verse counterparts.
• This entire cast!
• Josh Keaton and Nolan North as The Flash and Green Lantern
• Mark Harmon as Superman, I really loved his voice, he kind of reminded me of George Newbern’s take on the Man of Steel from Justice League/Justice League Unlimited.
• James Woods as Owlman, I don’t need to explain. He’s James Woods, he kicks ass in everything.
• Gina Torres as Superwoman, I’m starting to suspect that Andrea and Bruce are Whedonites. More on that on a later date though.
• Great action.
• I loved the scene where Lex arrives at the police station in the Justice League’s universe and he sort of makes this half hearted threat “Let me talk to the Justice League or I’ll, uh… Blow up the world or something, I guess?” I laughed a lot at that. XD
• A delightful, albeit somewhat tragic, romance between J'onn and President Wilson’s daughter Rose. Wait a minute a delightful but tragic romance between an alien man, who is the last of his kind due to war, and a woman named Rose? Where have we seen this before… Oh wait! I remember!
  
  Doctor Who references FTW!
• I only know this William Baldwin fellow from voicing Johnny 13 in Danny Phantom, but I really liked his take on Batman, although his voice feels somewhat more Michael Keaton esque than Christian Bale perhaps.
• I loved Vanessa Marshall’s take on Wondy, she was just so SASSY! When J'onn and Rose are first about to part ways, she tells him don’t be stupid, if you love her so much, stay!
• I really liked this Lex Luthor, he comes off as recognizably Lex, but still clearly a good guy!
• The Jester! I know James Patrick Stuart went uncredited for this part, but God almighty he was the perfect hero version of the Joker! Still a sick bastard with a sinister sense of humor, but clearly a noble spirit who would gladly sacrifice himself for his best friend.
• This movie created this meme!
  
  And that’s awesome!

CONS:

• I would’ve liked to see more of the rest of the crime syndicate and to see how they similar and different from the Justice League.
• I don’t understand Owlman’s logic that just because every we time we make a choice, in an alternate universe, we’ve made the opposite, makes life meaningless and therefore the only meaningful action that could be taken is to end all universes there has been or will be. I mean, I’m not supposed to, I’m a reasonable human being who values the lives of good people, but I don’t get that from the standpoint of Devil’s Advocate I still don’t get his logic. Like when the Joker in The Dark Knight says that he essentially believes that morals and codes of anyone who claims to be a good person are bullshit because the moment push comes to shove they go back on them and do things they claim they don’t believe in. I understand that, because people are like that. I don’t understand this though, because an alternate version of you is not you. Owlman and Batman may be different versions of the same man, but they are ultimately not the same.

All in all, this was a enormous breath of fresh air after such a shitty movie that I never want to see again! This movie, I would watch again, in fact, I did watch it again… Twice! Justice League: Crisis On Two Earths shall receive 9.1 out of 10!