DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - Justice League Doom (2012)

Written In January 2014

Here’s the short version, just not quite as good as New Frontier, nowhere near as good as Crisis on Two Earths. Stay tuned for the long version!

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

The film revolves around Vandal Savage’s plot to exterminate the greater part of the human population and start a new civilization. To ensure that the Justice League is unable to stop him, Savage hires Mirror Master, who hacks into the Batcomputer using a device made by LexCorp and steals contingency plans devised by Batman to incapacitate his League teammates should they ever go rogue. Savage assembles a group of supervillains with personal vendettas against the heroes and pays them richly to simultaneously attack the members of the League using these plans, albeit altered to be lethal.

The villains each do their part to take out the Justice League:

• Batman is informed by Alfred Pennyworth that the bodies of Thomas and Martha Wayne have been exhumed and are missing. When Bruce Wayne arrives at his parents’ graves, he is ambushed by Bane. The emotional distraction is enough to grant Bane the upper hand and render his adversary unconscious. Bruce is then placed into his father’s coffin which is reburied. He wakes up to the horrifying prospect of dying of asphyxiation next to his father’s corpse. Batman comes close to accepting his fate but, motivated by the memory of his parents’ murder, is able to dig his way out of the grave. He soon realizes that the League has been attacked using his own contingency plans. With help from Cyborg, he saves his teammates one by one.
• Wonder Woman is attacked by Cheetah who scratches her arm, sending nanomachines into her bloodstream. The microscopic machines attach themselves to her brain stem and begin broadcasting directly into her visual and auditory sensors. This fools Wonder Woman into thinking that everyone she sees is a duplicate of Cheetah. The illusion is designed to exploit her competitive nature, by sending her into a never-ending battle. Since she would never surrender, she will force herself to fight until her body gives out, thanks to the drugs the nanomachines were carried in, causing her to suffer an epileptic seizure or a heart attack. Cyborg adjusts his sonic emitter to a frequency that neutralizes the nanites.
• The Martian Manhunter (in his human identity of John Jones) is celebrating his birthday with his colleagues from the police force. He receives a soda from a mysterious woman (who is actually Ma'alefa'ak in disguise). The drink is laced with magnesium carbonate, which is poisonous to Martian biology. The Manhunter’s body is capable of curing itself, but only by sweating out the magnesium which is highly flammable. Ma'alefa'ak uses a lighter to set his enemy on fire (J'onn’s only weakness), leaving him to burn alive without the possibility to extinguish the flames. Batman provides Cyborg and Wonder Woman with a chemical (Aluminium oxide) that when injected into the Martian, neutralizes the magnesium.
• The Flash is lured into a trap by Mirror Master who pretends to rob a train. The villain then uses a hologram of an elderly woman to create the illusion that he had a hostage. The whole scenario is only intended to trick the Flash into placing his arm into a booby trap that attaches a bomb to his wrist. The bomb will explode and kill everyone within three miles if the hero tries to remove it or if he does nothing. The only way to prevent the explosion is to run and never decelerate, but even the Flash cannot run forever. Batman instructs him to run and vibrate his molecules through an entire glacier in the Arctic to get rid of the bomb. Flash gets away from the blast radius.
• Green Lantern is called upon by the FBI to deal with a group of terrorists who have taken hostages into a salt mine. However the truth is that both the terrorists and the hostages are sophisticated androids. The entire setting is part of a complex deception that fools Green Lantern into thinking that innocent lives are lost due to his overconfidence. The hero is also exposed to a synthesized version of the Scarecrow’s fear gas that undermines his will. Finally, Star Sapphire shows up and exploits his fears, convincing him that he does not deserve the power he wields. Green Lantern renounces his ring, without which he cannot escape from the collapsed salt mine. The weakened hero resigns to his fate. Batman shows him that the hostage was an android when he takes its head off and offers him an antidote to the gas. Jordan rejects it with his will now resolved.
• Superman is lured to the roof of the Daily Planet by a disillusioned former employee named Henry Ackerson, who aims to commit suicide by either jumping off or shooting himself. Superman tries to talk him out of it, and appears to have succeeded, when Ackerson unexpectedly shoots the hero instead. It is then revealed that the suicide ploy was meant to trick Superman into lowering his guard, that the former employee was being impersonated by Metallo, and that the bullet was made of Kryptonite, the only material that can harm Kryptonians. A fatally wounded Superman falls from the top of the building. The Kryptonite is surgically extracted by Cyborg (who uses a kryptonite scalpel laser) and Martian Manhunter (who shapeshifts his fingers and gets the bullet out) and Superman regains consciousness.

The Justice League retreats to the Watchtower, where Batman reveals that he was the real mastermind behind the attacks, having studied the others for physical and psychological weaknesses. However, he also had a contingency in place should the Batcomputer ever be hacked: a tracing algorithm hidden in his files. This enables the League to track down the Legion of Doom.
The villains are subdued, but the heroes fail to prevent Savage’s scheme to orchestrate an apocalyptic cataclysm with a powerful solar flare. Using information obtained by Cyborg, Batman devises a last minute plan and the League barely manages to save the Earth. The World Court sentences the immortal Vandal Savage to life imprisonment without possibility of parole.

In the aftermath of their victory, the Justice League votes to add Cyborg to their roster. Superman calls for a vote on Batman’s continued membership in the team, following the revelation of the latter’s breach of trust. However, Batman defends his plans and expresses no regret over his actions. He leaves the Justice League, saying “I don’t need to wait for a vote, I don’t belong here.”

In the final scene, Superman entrusts Batman with the Kryptonite bullet, agreeing with the concept of having safeguards in place should the League members ever fall to villainy or mind control - but not without first questioning him about Bane’s attack. It is revealed that exhuming the bodies of Thomas and Martha Wayne was entirely Savage’s idea. Superman asks Batman if he is still so arrogant that he did not bother to create a plan to stop himself, but Batman replies that there is one: the Justice League.

So here’s the thing, I honestly like this movie. I do. I love the cast, I like the story, I always enjoy seeing Cyborg getting to do something, and blah blah blah. But there were always a couple issues I had with the movie.

1. If you’re intent on getting the individual Justice League members’s worst enemies, then why the hell did you go for Metallo and Bane for Superman and Batman? I mean admittedly, they’re probably easier to manipulate than their actual worst enemies since; A. Lex has enough money and would likely screw Vandal over in the end. B. The Joker doesn’t give a fuck about money (except for TNBA where he and Harley went sort of broke) and would ABSOLUTELY screw Vandal over in the end. So it’s one of those things like, that makes sense, but you could’ve done better.
2. Everyone seems so offended that Batman would come up with plans to take out the League, or just members of it, if need be. Why? Superman can shoot volcano levels of heat from his eyes and breath blizzards! The entire Amazon race could level the world of a men inside a month if they felt the need! Sinestro turned his back on the core, who’s to say Hal or another Green Lantern wouldn’t too? The Flash can cause all kinds of destruction with his speed if he feels the need. Unless you know that Martians hate fire, J'Onn could take over the planet in no time. These are all people that there needs to be a plan for in case they are manipulated or corrupted. But everyone acts like it’s a betrayal of trust.
3. I’m fine with a Justice League movie that worships the almighty BATGOD, but at least let the other characters get a word in. When Batman’s leaving the League, Superman calls him out on his arrogance and asks him if he even thought to make a plan for himself. Batman replies that the League is his plan. If that isn’t bad enough, Superman smirks at him and acts like he didn’t just say something incredibly arrogant and stupid.
   

But ultimately, those don’t feel like bad enough details, especially since Crisis sort of worships Batgod, but that movie simply showed Batman as an intelligent combatant as opposed to the man who could even best freaking Galactus if given about 10 days. And that’s the version of Batman I hate, the version that says “Batman iz relatable becuz he’s human!” Relatable despite the fact that he’s more of a superhero than the actual super powered heroes. But regardless, you see that kind of stupid talk from morons online all the time. Why did that really bug me here? Well I think I finally put my finger on it, it’s… drum roll please!

We all know that Batman doesn’t kill, correct? The man himself says that the reason these plans almost got the League killed was because he repurposed them to kill. To repurpose something is to simply tweak it slightly, to take something meant for one thing and change it just a LITTLE to make it work for something similar. Well here’s the thing, I see these plans and other than the signature Kryptonite thing, I don’t see anything about them that Batman would use. They’re too cruel. Like lighting J'Onn on fire? Or making Diana think that every person she sees is Cheetah in order to induce a heart attack? I don’t see what these plans could’ve been originally, I don’t see what Batman would’ve done if these plans were used as intended. And that bugs me a lot. But enough with that, let’s get into the actual pros and cons.

PROS:

• Kevin, Tim, Michael, Carl and Susan are all on their A-Game! Each and every single one of them slips on their signature roles like a glove and wears it like a well tailored suit.
• Nathan Fillion returns from Emerald Knights as Hal and I continue to enjoy his delightful presence in these films!
• I don’t know who Bumper Robinson is, but he does a real nice job as Cyborg. He’s not as good as Khary Payton, but Khary voiced the son of a bitch for 3 years so it’s unfair.
• I don’t know who the actor is who plays Bane, but he should do the character more often! Kudos to you Mr. Carlos Alazraqui!
• Claudia Black as Cheetah! Now this lady I know, she played a conwoman and eventual main character name Vala in Stargate SG1 and I always loved her on that show! She was so hilarious! This movie though, she ain’t funny! And I rather like that about this character, great work again Miss Black! Good to see you again!
• So Detective Lance (Paul Blackthorne) from Arrow voices Metallo… OH MY GOD! I mean the performance is fine enough but it is so weird to see him in this movie before that show had started yet!
• The asshole senator from Dollhouse (who was also on Buffy and Angel apparently) plays Mirror Master… Yep! It’s official, Bruce Timm and Andrea Romano are Whedonites! No doubt about it.
• So oddly enough, we have more actors from comic book TV shows voicing characters in this movie. We have Phil Morris, WHO PLAYED MARTIAN MANHUNTER IN SMALLVILLE (and the lawyer, Jackie Chiles in a few episodes of Seinfeld which kind of connects back to Superman again because 
  plays Vandal Savage, reprising the role from the Justice League animated series and still does great work here!
• Lois Lane gets a couple scenes in this movie and she’s voiced by Grey DeLisle, whom I adore, and she does great work in this role! It definitely won’t be one of her most remembered roles, but it’s a nice little footnote on her kickass career.
• Speaking of ass kicking, this movie has plenty of that and more! Lots of great action here!
• While I already gave praise to Kevin, Tim, Susan, Michael and Carl, I really feel I ought to give each of them separate amounts of praise for their work. I’ll start with Carl, now first off, look at this image. 
  Imagine how hard it would be to emote the feeling of the pain of being burned alive. Doesn’t sound easy does it? Now imagine having to display that MUCH pain through just your voice! Sounds easy right? 
  Having to put out that much emotion is hard enough, to do it through voice acting is nigh impossible. And Carl Lumbly nails it!
• I don’t have a ton to say about him through out this movie, but there are two scenes that I think Kevin nailed! One is the scene where he goes to the cemetery where his parents are supposed to be buried and he sounds absolutely furious that their bodies are missing. The other is the scene where he pieces together that some asshole is using his plans to attack his friends, he quickly tells Alfred that he needs to leave because the League is under attack, worriedly Alfred asks who are they under attack by. Batman quickly replies “Me!” Great delivery Kevin, but that’s nothing new.
• Michael Rosembaum, who also played Lex in Smallville, does a great job as The Flash in this movie. Granted he’s doing a different Flash than the one he did in Justice League/Justice League Unlimited (he’s doing Barry in this movie, he did Wally in the old show) but he still does good work. I especially love the bit where Batman tells him to go up to the arctic and run through a glacier so that it’ll get stuck in one. Barry almost completely out of breath, a disturbing thought in of itself for The Flash, says that he’s more than happy to do this, noting that at least this way, the only person dead would be him.
• Susan Eisenberg gets to play a Wonder Woman we don’t normally see, one who is simply to pooped to pop! She’s been taking down as many Cheetahs as she can, and they just keep coming, and she’s getting so tired. It’s wonderfully disturbing to see an exhausted Wonder Woman.
• Tim Daly really never gets the chance to play a dying Superman but he has a great scene where he has to try to talk down a suicidal reporter (Metallo in disguise) and he is just so gentle and kind but still comes off like “You’re about to make a big mistake, don’t be stupid sir!” If you’ve ever had a friend who was suicidal, or just plain depressed, you absolutely love Superman in this scene which just makes it all the more horrifying when Superman is shot and he feels his chest and sees the blood.
• If this movie is sold on the threat of the death of the Justice League, it does not disappoint! It never once fails to scare you into thinking the League are finished. The only scene I’d say really follies on that point is Hal’s and to be fair, that scene was going for something else. The animation in this film is very key! The anime-esque style they use here is really great for the expressiveness of the faces! Especially in this scene here where Bruce is buried alive by Bane!

CONS:

• It feels like any hero really could’ve replaced Cyborg.
• I haven’t read the storyline this movie is based on, but I am aware that the Lantern we had was originally Kyle Rayner and the Flash was originally Wally West. Why change it? And why swap out a Mexican-American man for a white guy? That sounds kinda fishy if you ask me.
• I really feel like Nathan Fillion is underutilized here, he obviously loves playing the Green Lantern, why only give so many scenes?
• And more importantly, why doesn’t Carol try to kill Hall? Why does she only leave a blubbering mess mourning a woman who looks like her. I’m not saying heroes shouldn’t be emotional, but after watching the man of steel get shot, a man being set on fire, the fastest man alive racing until he can’t keep going to prevent a bomb from going off, the woman who won’t back down from a fight about to experience a heart attack for it, and the most emotionally damaged hero ever being buried with the corpse of his long dead father, this feels kind of weak.
• I can understand the League feeling uncomfortable with knowing Batman came up with plans to immobilize them, but why are they so offended? It was a good idea!
• In the scene where Hal has to hold back the solar flare from reaching Earth, I would’ve liked to actually see him trying to fight to keep it back. We get the impression this is difficult, yes, but it’s a freaking solar flare! The only grunts and groans we get are the typical “Rrrrr! Grrrr!!! Rrrrr!!!” How about we get some “GRaH!!!!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! RRRRRRrrrrmmmM!!!!!” Show us the guy getting a nose bleed, show him really tightening his grip on his other arm, have him quoting the oath. Really sell us that this is taking all of Hal’s strength to pull this off. But no, we just get the typical, “boy this is hard!” routine.
• How would any of these plans somehow only immobilize the League? These plans could only ever be used to kill!
• I never cared for the final scene of this movie, it just felt so out of character for Batman to call the League his back up plan in case HE went rogue, especially when knows how to take out all of them. And it felt just as out of character for Clark to just sit there and hand him the kryptonite bullet for safe keeping after that comment.

All in all, I think the good outweighs the bad, but the bad is still pretty bad. I’m gonna give Justice League: Doom, a 7.8 out of 10!

DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - Green Lantern: Emerald Knights (2011)

Written In January 2014

And we’ve come to another anthology movie, but unlike Gotham Knight, all the shorts here have the same animation style and character designs… And it’s the same one from the last GL movie, First Flight. Also unlike Gotham Knight, the shorts are framed as flashbacks instead of just individual stories taking place back to back. So I’ll just give you all the full summary, then review each individual segment without summary, then review the whole thing. Sound good? Okay then, Mr. John Harrison, if you would please

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

The sun of the Green Lantern homeworld, Oa, is becoming a gateway for Krona, an evil anti-matter alien tyrant that once sought to destroy all life. As precaution the Guardians of the Universe decide to evacuate Oa of all valuables, such as the Central Battery. While in line to charge their rings before the Battery is taken away, Green Lantern Corps rookie Arisia Rrab converses with Hal Jordan and expresses her self doubts as the newest Green Lantern. In response, Hal tells her the story of the first Green Lantern:

The First Lantern

Avra, a scribe to the Guardians, is chosen by the final of the first four power rings despite having no skill or aptitude as a warrior. Avra and the other three original Green Lanterns, G'Hu, Wachet, and Blu, are immediately tasked with stopping the Dominators, an aggressive species which is invading solar system after solar system. Blu is the first Green Lantern killed in battle, whereupon with defeat apparently at hand Avra uses his willpower and imagination as a writer to continue the fight: He creates the first construct from his ring, a sword, which is used to wreak havoc amongst the alien war armada. Following Avra’s lead the other two Lanterns, G'Ho and Wachet, also create their own distinct power ring constructs, and the battle is won. The power to shape constructs from the power rings becomes standard operating procedure, and Avra rises in prestige among the growing Green Lantern Corps. After his death, Avra’s ring is passed down and ultimately comes into the possession of Abin Sur, who is then succeeded by Hal Jordan.

Back in line at the Central Battery, Hal and Arisia meet Kilowog, the head drill sergeant of the Green Lantern Corps. He antagonizes Arisia as a rookie, reminding her that she still has to attend boot camp. Hal tells Arisia not to fear Kilowog, and recounts the story of Kilowog’s own trainer.

Kilowog

Sgt. Deegan trains the rookie Kilowog and others by removing their power rings and putting them in deadly settings such as a volcano about to erupt. Kilowog confronts Deegan and accuses him of employing a reckless training method and of having no value for the lives of his trainees. They briefly fight until Sgt. Deegan is called to deploy with his recruits when a nearby planet comes under attack by the Khunds, as they are the nearest Green Lanterns in the sector. Deegan purposefully drops Kilowog’s ring before departing with the other recruits, and Kilowog picks it up. In the battle Sgt. Deegan orders the rookies to protect the refugees as he deals with the invaders. As Kilowog catches up, Sgt. Deegan is mortally wounded. Kilowog destroys the army and goes to Deegan’s side. Deegan tells Kilowog he never would have let his rookies die and that he did what was best for their training. He passes his authority to Kilowog, who completes the mission.

Hal and Arisia arrive at a border patrol of the sun and await Krona’s return. Arisia and other Lanterns hear a Delphic prophecy from a Lantern named Laira who is levitating in the Lotus position(about which she remarks “That was strange.”), whereupon Hal shares Laira’s own story:

Laira

Once a princess, Laira is sent on her first solo mission to her homeworld to deal with charges that her people are attacking the Khunds unprovoked. Standing in her way, Laira quickly defeats her father’s mistress and her belittling brother. But when she faces her father she is saddened to learn that the recent war crimes were his own decision. He has been driven into rage by the loss of honor that Laira’s ring chose her and not him. Laira is ultimately able to defeat her father who admits she has truly earned her adulthood. He then commits ritual suicide to maintain his honor.

Back at the border patrol of Oa’s sun, every Lantern extant has been called to await Krona’s return, with the notable exception of Mogo. Hal explains who Mogo is and why he is not present:

Mogo Doesn’t Socialize

Bolphunga the Unrelenting seeks to fight and destroy all the most powerful warriors in the universe. He is told, however, by his latest opponent (a volcanic being whom he dismembers) that he will never defeat the Green Lantern Mogo. Bolphunga’s computer contains no data on Mogo save for his whereabouts on a mysterious green planet. Bolphunga spends weeks there tracking Mogo’s plethora of power signatures, but never finds the elusive Lantern. He then sets explosives all over the planet in order to flush Mogo out, but is horrified when the planet extinguishes all the bombs and Mogo is revealed to be the entire planet itself. He attempts to escape, but Mogo easily captures him.

At Oa’s sun Hal and Arisia are attacked by Krona’s Shadow Demons and rescued by Sinestro. Sinestro then speaks of the prophecy that Oa will be destroyed and relates a story of Abin Sur and the Lantern view on destiny:

Abin Sur

Hal Jordan’s predecessor Abin Sur fights Atrocitus, an alien criminal speaking dark prophecies. Abin Sur is assisted by Sinestro in capturing the alien. Sinestro and Abin Sur then have a conversation relating to the warnings that Atrocitus spoke and Sinestro insists that he does not believe in destiny. Parting ways, Abin Sur takes the criminal to a prison planet where Atrocitus again speaks on Abin Sur’s imminent death. He also warns Abin that Sinestro will rise against the Green Lantern Corps and create his own lantern corps built on the power of fear. Abin Sur however refuses to believe his friend would betray his Green Lantern duties.

Emerald Knights

Krona finally arrives from the Oa Sun. All the Green Lanterns fight swarms of Shadow Demons as Krona, an enormous figure, rises from the sun. Many Green Lanterns are killed and all others fall back. It is Arisia who devises a plan: if Krona is made of anti-matter then an equal or greater amount of matter will destroy him on contact. The Green Lanterns fall behind the planet Oa and push it at Krona. Krona uses Shadow Demons to push back and the Corps finds itself stymied while taking casualties. However, Mogo the Living Planet arrives and uses its own mass and Lantern Power to assist his comrades. Oa and Krona are forced into the sun and both are annihilated. The prophecy of Oa’s destruction is fulfilled, but Krona is destroyed and the Corps is saved.

Mogo volunteers to be the Corps’ temporary base as they build a new Oa. Arisia is honored with an official entry into the Book of Oa for her heroic ingenuity, although she still has to report for Kilowog’s training.

The First Lantern

This one is written by Michael Green and Marc Guggenheim, the same guys who wrote the Ryan Reynolds movie this whole thing was meant to promote, who are also the head writers and producers on CW’s Arrow, a show I adore! Which really leaves me to wonder, why did that movie suck? These are guys are clearly good writers, Ryan Reynolds is admittedly not an ill fit for Hal, the rest of the Lanterns were perfectly cast, the CG was pretty good, the director was Martin Campbell who directed two of the best James Bond movies in recent memory (Pierce Brosnan’s first outing, Goldeneye, and Daniel Craig’s first outing, Casino Royale), and the two Zorro movies starring Antonio Banderas are darn good fun in their own right. Well, we’re not here to debate at that piece of crap movie, we’re here to talk about this piece of crap movie. Except it’s not that crappy, especially not this first segment!

PROS:

• This story is simple and to the point.
• The story is a nice little play on the idea that the pen is mightier than sword, in that a mere scribe is able to do without fear what three great warriors were not able to even with their incredible strength.
• I’m of two minds about Hal being the one who now uses Avra’s ring, on the one hand I think it really shows why Hal is so special. But the other hand, I’ll address in the cons.
• I also like that a writer is able to create the first energy construct with the green lantern ring, especially when earlier in the fight, a comrade says to him to “Just use your imagination.”

CONS:

• I kinda don’t care for the fact that Avra even manages to create a construct, I think it would’ve been much more interesting for him to have just used bursts of energy blasts to defeat the bad guys (forgot what they were called).
• Bringing this back to Hal, I kinda take the fact that he has the very first Green Lantern’s ring as kind of a “fuck you!” to the other Green Lantern’s of Earth. Like Hal’s better than John, Kyle, Guy, and Alan because he has the first Lantern ever’s ring.

Overall, I’m gonna give this one a 4 out of 6! It’s pretty good, but not quite great. If you end renting this movie, I recommend you don’t skip this one.

Kilowag

Directed by Lauren Montgomery who directed the first GL movie here, and Wonder Woman and Superman/Batman: Apocalypse, and co-directed Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths with Sam Liu and Superman: Doomsday with Bruce Timm and Brandon Vietti, and has gone on to direct Batman: Year One and Justice League: Doom. Now if you’ve actually gone and read those reviews already or just did, then you’ll know I really like this lady. But, you know what’s even better? This story was written by none other than Peter Tomasi, the gentleman responsible in part for this beautiful image here, following the death of Damian Wayne.

I’m sorry about your heart. Anywho, what I’m saying is, this is a good team for this short, and the only thing that makes it better is

1. Kilowag, my favorite non-human Lantern, is the main focus of the story.
2. He’s voiced by punk rock legend, Henry Rollins.
3. It follows Kilowag at bootcamp being abused by an awesome drill sergeant.
4. Said Drill Sergeant is voiced by Wade Williams, who we all remember as Black Mask in Under The Red Hood.

Does the story live up to the hype I just gave it? Yes, yes it does!

PROS:

• Wade Williams is perfection in this role! I adore him and his character! It kinda makes forget that he was a complete douchenozzle in Prison Break, but that’s not important.
• Henry Rollins does great work as Kilowag in this short, I’m not a huge fan of his as a voice actor, I think he kind of falls into that trap of not being distinct enough, but he was really good as both the hardass and the nice guy in this movie.
• The action is terrific throughout this short!
• The dynamic between Kilowag and Drill Sgt. Deegan is so perfect! When Kilowag calls him out, you can tell Deegan’s trying to control himself because he knows this guy is just a rookie who doesn’t understand what he’s trying to do. And Kilowag doesn’t even care that he’s being an ass to him specifically, he cares that he seems so cold about the recruits, like he doesn’t even care if they live or die. And when Deegan kicks Kilowag’s ass, it’s not only delightful because Kilowag is getting beat by a guy only a third his size, but you really believe it when Deegan says that what is most important is that these rookies do their job to the best of their ability, because the innocent people out there who are counting on just that. And when Deegan says this again and explains that he would never let them actually come to serious harm after Kilowag just defended him while dying, you really hear that he respects this big guy so MUCH! That son of a bitch Tomasi had to make it even worse though with Deegan drawing the green lantern symbol on Kilowag’s chest with his blood as his last act. That final scene just left my heart in pieces, I was just sitting there like
  
  You’re an asshole Tomasi! Thank you!
• Kilowag immediately goes hardass on the other recruits, I get the feeling that it was partially out of anger because “Those assholes just killed Deegan!” but partially out of respect for him because, this guy pushed us to the limit because he believe in us, so I’ll continue pushing all of us because that’s what he’d do

.CONS:

• I don’t have any, this short was perfect!

6 out of 6! Easily! I’ll admit I’m overselling it with that ranking, but it’s for Deegan!

(PS, the voice actor is still very much alive, I just really loved this character, alright?)

Laira

This one was directed by a guy named Jay Oliva, I think DC are starting to like him because he just directed 3 of the last 4 four animated movies they released, and he’s directing JL: War…

This short doesn’t inspire much hope in me either, in fact, it left me with dread. I’ll explain why now.

PROS:

• Kelly Hu, who played Lady Deathstrike in X2: X-Men United, China White in Arrow, and voiced Black Mask’s secretary in Under The Red Hood, does good work as the titular character of this short. You really feel for her conflict as she is forced into conflict with her own family.
• An actor I really love, Tony Amendola, who I know best from playing Bra'tac in Stargate SG-1, another mentor figure, does a really good job as Laira’s father. A man who did what he felt he had to for his family and his people, but in the process lost his way, and in the end seeks a way to honorable amend his mistakes. Nice work Mr. Amendola, good to hear from you!
• You know that giant floating head you occasionally see pop up in Green Lantern related stuff?
  
  This guy right here? Well apparently his name is Galius Zed, and and he makes a quick appearance in this short while the enemies of Laira’s planet are being attacked, and he shows himself to be quite the badass! This is a pro for no other reason than it made appreciate a character I otherwise don’t normally think about.
• The action here is particularly good, I think we may have DC Animation’s Michael Bay in the form of Jay Olivia. An incompetent storryteller, but a hell of a fight director!

CONS:

• The conflict here is poorly explained.
• Laira really isn’t shown any true development here, since she acts as cold in this short as she does throughout the rest of the movie.
• Kentor’s (Laira’s father) ritual suicide is really random, and doesn’t make any real sense.
• It doesn’t work when he puts it on, but it really bugs me that Kentor could take off Laira’s ring and wear it all. It made more sense in First Flight wear the Lantern had to remove the ring themselves in order to use it.
• The douchebag older brother, I don’t get the point of him.
• Also, the “whore” wife, why is she here? Why do we need to see members of Laira’s family who seem to hate her?

All in all, I thought this short was okay, but it really had wasted potential behind it. It would’ve been cool to see Laira be a little bit looser as a Lantern but forcing herself to become colder and more hardassed because of having to face her family and then witnessing them take their own life. So that being said, I’m gonna have to just give this a 1.75 out of 6. Your move Jay!

I’ll believe that when I see it, but that’s not the Jay I was talking about. Next!

Mogo Doesn’t Socialize

Huhn… Well then… Good move Jay!

I’m still not buying it, and that’s still not what I’m talking about! Onto the pros and cons!

PROS:

• A return to simple story telling!
• There’s a green lantern that is entire living planet! That is fucking awesome! Although it does beg the question, where does he put his ring?
• Apparently WWE alumni, Roddy Piper, voices the thug "warrior,“ Bolphunga in this short… I don’t watch wrestling but I think he does a good job playing up this cocky tough guy in over his head.
• The comedy in this short is great! I love how angry Bolphunga gets when he can’t find Mogo, and how freaking terrified he is when he finds it’s the entire planet!

CONS:

• This isn’t really a con within the short, but Mogo’s existence within this universe kind of leads to a problem I’ll end having in another one later, but I’m not gonna hold it against this particular part of the movie.

All in all, this one was kind of fun, but I’m still keeping my guard up about you Jay!

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thrice? I don’t think so!

Anywho, I liked this short, but I still don’t trust you Jay Olivia, I’ll give you a solid 4 out of 6 for it, but I’m willing to bet this is writer (and Alan Moore artist) Dave Gibbons’s doing than yours.

Abin Sur

What I find neat about this one, is while the last four stories were told from Hal’s point of view, this one we’re told by Sinestro, played delightfully by the returning Jason Issacs. Wait a minute…

What did they just jack the supporting cast from Under The Red Hood for these shorts?

PROS:

• Well again, Jason does great work as Sinestro, although feels a bit odd hearing his voice coming from a design that fit Victor Garber’s like a glove.
• I have no idea who this Arnold Vosloo fellow is, but he does very good work here as Abin Sur! I really like him as this character, in fact I generally like the character period, what with her persistence on waiting until the last minute to recharge his power ring.
• Apparently the actor who voices Atrocitus, Bruce Thomas, is the forgotten Batman, having played the Caped Crusader in both the unaired pilot for WB’s Birds of Prey and the actual pilot for that show, along with a number of GM’s OnStar commercials that featured the Dark Knight, which ran from 2000 to 2002. Wait, does that make those commercials canon with the Birds of Prey show? Anywho, I have no idea what to make of that, but I think he does a good job in this short. He comes off as clearly sinister and angry, but actually rather intelligent. I give him a pass!
• The actual story of this short is take it or leave it, but the final scene with Atrocitus telling Abin Sur that his death is imminent and that one day Sinestro, his best friend, will betray his oath of loyalty to the core, and form the Yellow Lanterns is great stuff!, especially when we the audience know this is true, but Abin Sur doesn’t buy it. He has total faith in his friend and doesn’t believe he’d ever do wrong against the core.

CONS:

• I really have no complaints about this short, I just wish more of it was as good as it’s ending.

This story was apparently written by Geoff Johns which explains this story felt so "Take it or leave it” for most part, but am left with a shining bright spot. I’m gonna go ahead and give Abin Sur a 4.25 out of 6. It’s slightly better than above average, but it’s still not the best these shorts have to offer.

Emerald Knights

And we’re back in Lauren’s wheelhouse! And this time we have Batman: TAS writer/producer Alan Burnett behind the wheel for this script, with his copilot being Todd Casey, who has written for episodes of Batman: The Brave and The Bold and the recent reboot of the Thundercats series. I gotta say, they all do pretty good work here, minus a very glaring Deus Ex Machina which I’ll get into in the cons, but first let’s get to the stuff I liked!

PROS:

• The idea of just letting Krona have Oa is a surprisingly smart one, given that everyone’s evacuated and if they do give it to him, it’ll kill him!
• It’s a pretty nice touch putting Asiria’s name in the Oa book of heroes.
• Asiria herself is voiced very nicely by Elizabeth Moss.
• It makes sense that Mogo would allow everyone to use himself as a base of operations while they look for a new Oa.
• The final joke with Asira being told she still has to report to Kilowag for training is fun.
• I was gonna call bullcrap on the movie for throwing a planet at a sun because a creature made of antimatter is in there and the only thing that can destroy is the same amount of actual matter in terms of mass. I was gonna call bullcrap on that, but then I found out that the Earth itself, while tiny in actual size ratio, is extremely massive compared to the sun. So I commend the short for actually being able to stand up to the bullcrap test!

CONS:

• Having a living planet on your side is a HUGE Deus Ex Machina for me, I don’t think it detracts from the actual movie, but I really wish it wasn’t there.

I’m gonna give Emerald Knights, the short, a 4.5 out of 6! Again, only above average, but still pretty good! Nice work everybody!

Now to review the whole damn movie!

PROS:

• Nathan Fillion is perfectly cast as Hal Jordan in this movie! Although it’s still weird to see his voice coming from the same design as Christopher Meloni’s Hal.
• The voice acting is pretty good all around!
• The action is great.
• The story ideas are never without potential.
• The threat itself is a tad bit generic, but gets the job done.
• Each segment has nothing to truly get angry over.
• The movie introduces you to a lot of cool characters you hadn’t gotten to know last time.
• No one who gets to talk is left without a moment to shine.

CONS:

• It bugs me that they used the same designs from the last GL movie.

Ultimately, I’d say there’s more to enjoy about this movie than there is to not enjoy, but I wouldn’t say you need to see it. I’ll let it pass and say it’s above average with a 4.5 out of 6 overall!

DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - Wonder Woman (2009)

Written In January 2014

While watching this movie, for some reason my mind wandered off into a couple Transformers references. One was when the monsters are messing with the Lincoln Memorial and Steve Trevor is outraged by this, causing me to flashback to this scene in Dark of the Moon. And the other was when Ares and Persephone have to sacrifice one of their troops to open the gate to the Underworld, the flashback being this scene in Revenge of the Fallen. Or maybe more appropriately this scene from South Park.

Onto the review!

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

Centuries ago, the Amazons, a proud and fierce race of warrior women, led by their Queen, Hippolyta (voiced by Virginia Madsen), battled Ares(voiced by Alfred Molina), the god of war, and his army. During the battle, Hippolyta beheaded her son, Thrax (voiced by Jason Miller), whom Aresforcibly conceived with her, who is fighting for his father. Hippolyta then defeated Ares, but Zeus (voiced by David McCallum) stopped her from delivering the death strike. Instead, Hera (voiced by Marg Helgenberger) bound his powers with magic bracers so that he was deprived of his ability to draw power from the aura of violence and death he could instigate, effectively rendering him mortal, and only another god could release him. In compensation, the Amazons were granted the island of Themyscira, where they would remain eternally youthful and isolated from Man in the course of their duty of holding Ares prisoner for all eternity. Later, Hippolyta was granted a daughter, Princess Diana (voiced by Keri Russell), whom she shaped from the sand of the Themyscirian sea shore and gave life with her own blood.

Over a millennium later, an American fighter pilot, USAF Colonel Steve Trevor (voiced by Nathan Fillion), is shot down in a dogfight and crash-lands on the island, where he soon runs afoul of the Amazon population, including the warlike, aggressive Artemis (voiced by Rosario Dawson). Steve and Diana meet and fight, and she defeats him, taking him to the Amazons. After interrogating him with the use of the Amazons’ golden lasso, Hippolyta decides he is not an enemy of the Amazons and as such, tradition dictates that an emissary be tasked to ensure his safe return to his own country. Diana volunteers, but is assigned to guard Ares’s cell instead since her mother argues that she has not enough experience in dealing with the dangers of the outside world. Diana defies her mother and, her face hidden by a helmet and her guard duty covered by her bookish but kind-hearted Amazon sister Alexa (voiced by Tara Strong), participates in contests of strength and wins the right to take Trevor back to his home.

In the meantime, the Amazon Persephone (voiced by Vicki Lewis), who has been gradually seduced by Ares, kills Alexa and releases him. With the additional task of capturing Ares, Diana brings Trevor to New York City, where he volunteers to help Diana on her quest. An investigation uncovers a pattern of violence created by Ares presence that will lead to him given time, and the pair go out to a bar while they wait. After some heavy drinking, Trevor makes a pass at Diana. They argue outside, but are attacked first by thugs and then the demigod Deimos (voiced by John DiMaggio). Deimos kills himself to prevent being interrogated, but Diana and Steve find a clue on his body that leads them to a concealed gateway to the underworld guarded by members of a still-extant ancient cult of Ares.

Once there, Diana attempts to subdue Ares, but he summons harpies that knock her unconscious, prompting Trevor to save her instead of stopping Ares. Meanwhile, Ares performs a sacrifice to open a gate to the Underworld where he persuades his uncle Hades (voiced by Oliver Platt) to remove the bracers, though Hades does not tell Ares that the ultimate cost of removing the bracers would be Ares’ own death in combat. Later, Diana regains consciousness in a hospital and is furious that Trevor saved her rather than stop Ares. Trevor argues against her abuse with his own criticism of the Amazons’ self-imposed isolation and their generalizations about men, and reveals how much he cares about her.

Ares and his army attack Washington, DC. Trevor and Diana arrive to battle Ares and are soon joined by the Amazons. While Ares manages even to summon the Amazons long dead from the Underworld to fight their own sisters, his scheme is stopped by Alexa, a member of the undead host, who reveals to Artemis a chant which nullifies Ares’s control over them. The undead then turn on Ares but are destroyed by his powers. Hippolyta faces Persephone in combat and kills her, but in her dying breath, Persephone makes the queen realize that in shutting the Amazons away from the world of men, she has denied them the chance to live their lives as women.

Meanwhile, the President (voiced by Rick Overton) is influenced by Ares’s power and orders a nuclear missile against Themyscira, presuming the island nation to be the source of the attack on Washington. This act of supreme aggression increases Ares’s power, but Trevor takes the invisible jet and shoots down the missile just before it hits the island. Finally, after a brutal beating at Ares’s hands, Diana finally outwits and kills him. Subsequently, Ares is condemned to the underworld to attend Hades as a slave alongside his son.

Later on Themyscira, in memory of Alexa, Artemis takes up the hobby of reading (with severe difficulty). Hippolyta realizes that Diana misses both the outside world and Trevor, and to make her happy again, she gives her daughter the task of being a channel for ‘communication between men and women’. Diana accepts and returns to New York, where she enjoys the company of Trevor. Their relationship comes with the understanding of her larger duties, such as when Diana sees Cheetah robbing a museum and she excuses herself to stop the supervillainess as the newly christened Wonder Woman.

Before I get into my lists of pros and cons, let’s talk about something real quick. Why does Wonder Woman not have a live action theatrical film yet? It’s not because she’s a comic book character, those movies have been making bookoo bucks since ‘78 when they released Superman: The Movie with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando. It can’t be because studios aren’t sure if female led action films are profitable, the Resident Evil series has had 6 installments and made just under a billion dollars total against a total of 280 million for budget. The Underworld series consists of four films and has made just under 500 million on a budget of 177 million. And I doubt it’s because she’s based on Ancient Greek Swords and Sandals style films, because the studios and audiences eat that shit up. Look no further than the fact that we have TWO, count ‘em, TWO, Hercules movies.

I suppose you can make the argument that movies like Catwoman and Elektra tanking at the box office and just generally not being very good movies is to blame. But those movies were made long after the wake of Superman and Batman movies we had. The popular consciousness seems to say that each half the world’s finest had one great movie, one good movie, one not-so-good movie, and one shitty movie. The first movie to hit theaters for either party that was not considered a serial, was the George Reeves pilot back in 1951, titled Superman and the Mole Men. 15 years later, we were all amazed with the campy glory that was Bill Dozier’s Batman starring Adam West and Burt Ward as the icons that are the Dynamic Duo. Then 12 years later we started to believe a man could in fact fly thanks to Richard Donner and Alexander & Ilya Salkind. That soon enough went to shit by the time 1986 came around, but luckily, Michael Keaton, Tim Burton and Jack Nicholson quickly came around three years later to resurrect the once proud and grim series that was Batman. Which also went to shit thanks in no small part Warner Bro’s interference but also thanks to Joel Schumacher, Val Kilmer and George Clooney. That series finally went and died in 1997 until Christopher Nolan, God bless his soul, came in and breathed new life into it.

Where was Wonder Woman in all of this? Stuck on the small screen in the form of the Linda Carter series on CBS, where she was accompanied by a collection of Marvel characters, including most famously Lou Ferrigno’s Incredible Hulk and Bill Bixby’s David Bruce Banner, and much less famously Nicholas Hammond’s Spider-Man/Peter Parker, and even less famously Reb Brown’s Captain America/Steve Rogers. What’s my point, you ask? WHY THE HELL ISN’T SHE ON THE BIG SCREEN ALREADY?!?!?!? How come we don’t have a beloved actress who came from being an absolute unknown to the biggest star on the planet, who got that way for playing Wonder Woman? How come we don’t have an already well liked and respected actress that everyone gained a new found appreciation for after seeing their incredible range as a performer after being cast against type as Wonder Woman? How come we don’t have a respected method actress who had a cult following before being cast as Wonder Woman, who is now one of the most famous, beloved and respected actresses in Hollywood?

Why has Wonder Woman not enjoyed the same amount of love and respect as Superman and Batman? I am of course aware that Israeli actress-model, Gal Gadot, has been cast as the Amazonian Warrior Princess, but let’s consider something. Wonder Woman was created in 1941 and brought to television in 1975. And she’s finally going to make her big screen debut in February of 2014, in the form of an animated lego mini-figure voiced by How I Met Your Mother’s Cobie Smulders in Phil Lord and Chris Miller’s The Lego Movie, a movie where she’s likely going to be the equivalent, to a small celebrity cameo. And only two years later, she’ll make her first appropriateappearance in the currently untitled sequel to 2013’s Man of Steel. A movie also not about her, where she’ll be a relatively smaller role, that may or may not be entirely plot relevant.

This movie was made in 2009. It took Wonder Woman 68 years to have her own feature length film, and it’s only a direct to video animated movie written by an admittedly brilliant comic book writer, but still not someone who get a ton of respect in mainstream Hollywood. I don’t feel like saying, I’ll have John Goodman say it for me.

Thank you John. Sorry for the ranting people, I didn’t mean to talk up that for so long, I just needed to get something off of my chest.

Anywho, onto the actual review.

PROS:

• I don’t really know much of Kerri Russel’s work, but she really did a great job as Wondy in this movie.
• Malcolm Reynolds as Steve Trevor! Oh wait no, that’s Nathan Fillion! My mistake!
• Ares is a delightful villain and an intimidating presence, especially with Alfred Molina’s wonderfully slimy delivery. I’m surprised Bruce and Andrea could get a hold of him.
• Hades makes a couple quick appearances in this movie and he is the perfect asshole. He brings in Ares’s dead son in and treats him like garbage, just to humiliate Ares. And to top it all of, he’s voiced by Oliver Plat, who I am again, very surprised to see here.
• The animation and character designs in this movie are all really great, with some wonderfully directed action scenes handled by Lauren Montgomery, who handled the second act of Superman: Doomsday.
• The screenplay written by Gail Simone is fantastic! It’s got a lot of Tumblr Feminist style punches in it, with a few fedora wearing dudebro esque quips, but with just enough intelligence to cut strait through that bullshit and say, both parties are morons and need to work together like smart people.
• Christopher Drake’s score is delightful, although he noted in his Fat Man on Batman interview with Kevin Smith, that they were initially going to go for something in the vein of Queen’s Flash Gordon theme, which I would’ve loved as well.
• I didn’t buy Persephone’s reasoning for betraying her fellow Amazons at first, but then I realized, Diana is the ONLY woman on the island who has never met and/or seen a man. All of these women at one point had fathers, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, cousins, maybe husbands or even sons! Persephone longs to be a wife and mother, in fact I get the impression she once was that, but lost it.
• Tara Strong voices a bookworm Amazon named Alexa, who seems to be the only woman int his movie who doesn’t want to kill something. I kinda like her.
• While Artemis is a frequently a bitch throughout this movie, she’s also quite awesome!

CONS:

• The way Ares is killed is rather Deus Ex Machina like, and I really don’t care for that.
• I don’t get why everyone seems to hate Alexa because she’s a bookworm who can’t really fight. Especially not when Athena, one of the goddesses they likely idolize is known to be a philosopher and quite the reader in general.
• I also hate that Artemis, Alexa’s sister, expresses such animosity toward her. Even in death! I’m not terribly fond of my sister and I’ve cursed at her more times than I’d care to admit, but if something happened to her I’d horrified and heartbroken. Artemis, on the other hand, upon discovering her sister is dead, assumed she just fucked up. And when she meets her on the battlefield as a zombie, she says that she’s continuing disgrace their family name (which we never actually learned).
• Diana’s mother Hippolyta feels too cold. I really question how much she cares about people, she had to kill her own son on the battlefield but she never really shows any concern about it. I get that Amazons are supposed to be really hardcore and stuff, but even the biggest of badasses have their moments where they let their emotions go. In Saving Private Ryan, Tom Hanks, who in the movie is supposed to be the perfect commander, goes off on his own for a minute and outright CRIES for his fallen soldiers. In the first Die Hard movie, when Bruce Willis starts to think he’s not coming back from his current predicament with Alan Rickman, he talks to Reginald VelJohnson and admits that he regrets never actually trying to apologize to his wife, who he is currently in the process of being divorced from. OPTIMUS FUCKING PRIME, apologized to a dead Megatron for it having to be the way it is now in the first Transformers movie. A CHARACTER GRIEVED HIS ENEMY! IN A MICHAEL BAY MOVIE! And not just any character in a Michael Bay movie, a MACHINE! A MACHINE GRIEVED ANOTHER MACHINE! Why do I keep going back to Transformers?

Okay, all that being said, this is a great movie. I don’t think it’s quite as good as a lot of folks say, but it is still a very good movie, that I think could’ve worked as a template for a live action movie, but we’ll see what David Goyer, Zack Snyder, Chris Terrio and Gal Gadot will being giving us in 2016. Until then, I’ll be providing Wonder Woman a 7.9 out of 10.