The Batman Movie Retrospective Series - Batman Returns (1992)

 Published November 2014

You know, say what you want about Odin from the Thor movies, but at least the guy actually saved a child that was possibly about to die. He may have raised him with the intent of molding him into a propaganda tool, but at he still raised him like one of his own, and AMONG his own!

Meanwhile, Penguin’s mama and papa, Peewee Herman and Queen Bansheera- No really, the Lady Cobblepot actress did the voice of Queen Bansheera from Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue, here’s a link- Anywho, the two of them up and decided, “You know what, our kid’s kinda ugly, let’s just send him down river like Moses, only without the intention of saving an enslaved race of people from an oppressive monarchy, that kinda sounds like fun!” So Odin, on behalf of everyone on this website I’d like to present you with this

You’ve earned it big man!

Look at him! He’s so proud!

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

Tucker and Esther Cobblepot, an aristocratic couple, throw their deformed infant child into the sewers, feeling that Gotham City’s high society would not approve after witnessing their son kill their pet cat. However, a flock of penguins living in the sewers rescue him and raise him. 33 years later, the child becomes the Penguin. He kidnaps businessman Max Shreck, blackmailing him into helping him become a citizen of Gotham using evidence of his corporate crimes. Meanwhile, Max discovers that his secretary, Selina Kyle, has found out he is planning to build a power plant which will drain Gotham of its electricity. Max pushes her out of a window, ensuring that she will not tell anyone. However, a flock of alley cats lick her corpse, reviving her. She returns home, suffers a mental breakdown and makes a homemade black vinyl catsuit and becomes a costumed vigilante named “Catwoman”.

Penguin sends one of his costumed henchmen to kidnap the mayor’s baby while he “saves” him, becoming a hero to the people of Gotham. However, billionaire Bruce Wayne is suspicious of the Penguin and discovers that he is the leader of the Red Triangle Circus Gang who commits crimes throughout Gotham. As Batman, Bruce decides to protect Gotham from the gang. After Penguin discovers that his parents are dead and his name is Oswald Cobblepot, Max decides to make Penguin the mayor of Gotham because the current mayor will not approve of Max’s power plant. To do this, the Penguin has the Red Triangle Circus Gang create a riot, causing the citizens to lose all faith in the mayor, but Batman stops it. During the riot, Catwoman vandalizes Shreck’s Department Store to gain revenge on Max. When Batman and Penguin confront each other, she intervenes before the store blows up. Penguin escapes as Catwoman fights Batman. Batman pushes her off a rooftop, but a litter box on a truck saves her.

The next day, Penguin and Catwoman collaborate on a plan to kill Batman. Meanwhile, Bruce and Selina develop a romantic relationship. Penguin and Catwoman kidnap the Ice Princess, an actress chosen to turn on the Gotham City Christmas Tree Lights, framing Batman. Batman finds her but Catwoman takes her to a rooftop where the Penguin releases a swarm of flying bats which make the Princess retreat backwards, falling off, making her death seem like Batman’s fault. Catwoman rejects the Penguin’s advances, prompting him to try killing her. Batman enters the Batmobile and discovers that Penguin has control over it, due to a device Penguin’s gang installed. The Penguin takes it on a devastating rampage, but Batman regains control over it, escaping death.

Batman, having recorded the Penguin’s plans during the rampage, plays it during the Penguin’s election speech, turning the people against him. Enraged, Penguin kidnaps all the first-born sons of Gotham, including Max Shreck. Batman saves all the babies, forcing the Penguin to execute an alternate plan to destroy the entire city with his penguin army. However, Batman foils the plan by luring the penguins back to the Penguin’s sewer base. He briefly battles the Penguin, then pushes him into sewer water. Catwoman tries to kill Max, but Batman stops her and reveals himself as Bruce. Max shoots Batman, knocking him out. Catwoman claims that she has six of her nine lives left, although Max shoots her four times, leaving her with two lives. Catwoman kisses Max with an electrical taser between their lips and breaks an electric wire, creating an explosion which kills Max but Batman cannot find Selina’s corpse. The Penguin emerges from the water, but chokes on his own blood from internal injuries from the fall and falls to the ground, dead. His emperor penguins hold a funeral for their former boss and drag his corpse into the sewer water, his resting place.

Afterwards, Alfred drives Bruce home. Suddenly, Bruce spots Selina’s shadow in an alley. He investigates the area, only finding her black cat Miss Kitty, taking her with him before exchanging Christmas wishes with Alfred. The Batsignal lights up in the night sky and Catwoman rises up into the foreground and stares at it, confirming that she is alive.

If you’re wondering at all, I’m not planning to comment on how not like the comics this movie is, if you have even a passing knowledge of the funny books that’s obvious. Catwoman wasn’t some pathetic secretary lady who died and was resurrected by cats, and was subsequently given nine lives. She was just a cat burglar who had a thing for actual cats. Penguin was never some sort of disfigured freak who was raised by carnies in the sewer. He was just some guy who had flipper like hands (and I don’t even think that’s a thing nowadays) and kind of a beakish nose(which I’m pretty sure is still a thing) who looked sort of like penguin, but was otherwise, just your average run of the mill mob boss with a thing for umbrellas. I’m treating this less like adventure in Gotham City, and more like an adventure in…

Which granted, ain’t my favorite place in the world, but when it’s a good time, it’s a pretty fucking good time! So let’s hope just hope this doesn’t suck as much Planet of the Apes did, and have the best time we can!

PROS

• Michael Keaton has definitely grown into the role I think, I wasn’t a huge fan of his Batman last time, but I think I like him a little better this time around. He still makes for a pretty good Bruce Wayne, and I like how this time he actually gets to show some authority as the billionaire playboy. In one scene he confronts Shreck and lets him know him that he’s more than ready to play hardball with this son of a bitch. Nice work as always Mr. Keaton, bravo!
• Danny DeVito’s Penguin is a mixed bag for me, he’s well acted, and even occasionally sympathetic, but at the same time he’s so vile and disgusting that I often have a hard time maintaining interest in him. I really liked how initially they sort of drew a parallel, especially with Bruce watching the initial broadcast where he says that just wants to find out who his parents are, who he is, and why they decided to just abandon him. Alfred asks him if he’s alright, and Bruce just says he’s fine, he just hopes Penguin finds his parents. The moment that really sold the parallel though, is this quick scene where Penguin finds his parents’s graves and throws a rose upon the respective headstones. I get the feeling this was intentional callback to the scene in Batman where Bruce throws a pair of roses on the site where his own parents were murdered in front of him. I’ve got more to say about this character, but I’ll save the rest of that commentary for the cons. Overall, I think there’s more to appreciate about this character and this performance than their is to criticize.
• Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman is another mixed bag for me, I think she and Michael have pretty good chemistry together, and all of her scenes pretty well acted, especially the scene where she comes back home after being killed by Shreck and resurrected by all the Alley cats, and I LOVE the scene where she comes back to Shreck’s office in the middle of his meeting with Bruce and they both know exactly what he did, and he’s not letting him off the hook at all. And knowing that she actually held a live bird in her mouth for a scene, I gotta give her props for that.
• Christopher Walken as Max Shreck.
  

  

  
  I honestly think he’s the best villain of this film, he’s not cartoonishly evil, but he’s still clearly a bad person. He has sympathetic traits, he cares deeply about his son, but at the film doesn’t try to use that as excuse for actions. He manipulates Penguin into becoming his puppet so he can put up his power plant that would actually leach energy from the city. He lets Selina sweat for a minute, before he lets her into a sense of false security, before he actually pushes her out of the fucking window. And honestly, his performance is pretty good in it’s own right. Overall, I really liked this character. I think my favorite scenes of him were actually the moments where he’s face to face with Penguin for the first time and the scene where he sees Selina AFTER he actually killed him. With Penguin, you can see the gears turning in his head about how to bullshit his way out of this potentially dangerous situation, and he ultimately comes up with a pretty good out. And with Selina, you can see him sweating bullets, “You’re supposed to be dead! But you’re not! What the hell is going on?!” I thought this character was terrific, five stars to Burton and Walken for this one!
• Danny Elfman’s fucking score!
  

  

  
  Even better than the last movie, give it a listen here!
• I really like the scene of Bruce and Selina at Shreck’s ball, the symbolism of them being the only people there who aren’t wearing masks is kinda on the nose, but it really does work.
• Michael Gough continues to excel as Alfred, I especially love the early scene where he tells a paperboy, who’s trying to give him an article about the Penguin, that the paper is usually dreck but this kind of nonsense is especially dreck.
• I like how we FINALLY got see Batman and Gordon actually talk to each other, it’s pretty brief and Batman doesn’t seem terribly interested in talking, but I’m glad these films finally got something from the Batman mythos that I’ve always valued as a fan.
• While I liked the actual suit in Batman better, I really liked the cowl more in this movie than the last one.
  

  

  
  I feel like it fits Keaton’s head better, and just looks more like Batman to me. I’m not sure why exactly.

CONS

• What in the hell made Shreck think that Penguin would be a good mayoral candidate? Really? We haven’t a president who wasn’t at least a 6.5 since Kennedy! What makes you think a guy as disgusting as Penguin could get into office?!
• The scene where Catwoman asks Batman how he could’ve hit her when she’s a woman annoys the hell out of me, especially because Bats starts stammering because he didn’t really think about it. Yeah guys, I’ll refer you to this
  

  

  
  

  

• The Penguin’s death is just so mean spirited, were you in a bad mood that day Tim?
• I really don’t find this Catwoman very attractive. Michelle Pfeiffer is a very pretty lady, but the scene where Catwoman just starts licking herself does more to disgust me than arouse me. And knowing that that scene is meant to arouse me, that’s a definite con.
• I really hate how the first thing we see Selina do as Catwoman is kill a sexual predator and then YELL AT THE WOMAN WHO WAS BEING ASSAULTED FOR MAKING IT SO EASY FOR HIM! Fuck you Catwoman!
• The scene where Catwoman keeps taking a bunch of bullets from Shreck and she starts counting off how many lives she has left before she actually kills him doesn’t work for me, considering that I’m pretty sure only one of those actual shots would’ve been lethal. By the end of the film she has one life left, but I’m pretty sure she should’ve still had about five.
• Speaking of her various lives, I really wish they’d kept whether or not Selina was still alive ambiguous, it felt kind of tacked on when we saw her kneeling with her back to the camera with the batsignal in the background. It would’ve been more emotionally resonant if we ended with Bruce still thinking she was alive, but we the audience weren’t 100% sure

All in all, this is a pretty flawed film, but I think I enjoyed it more than it’s predecessor. I wouldn’t say it’s the better film, but it’s the more ambitious film, and I like how we actually have three antagonists who are somewhat sympathetic for a change. So with that said, I’m gonna Batman Returns a 7.1 out of 10.

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this review, and if you did hop on by to my previous review to hear my thoughts on Batman! And then when you’re done with that head back to my blog to hear my thoughts on Warner’s response to this movie with the now infamous

Stay tuned!

DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - The Batman Vs Dracula (2005)

Written In January 2014

Before I get to the plot, can I just say… This a REALLY random set up in my opinion. Who would even think to set up a powerless hero who’s normal shtick involves being a detective, not someone who typically goes head to head with supernatural beings, and even when he does, 7 times out of 10, he’s hanging out with the Justice League and people who DO work with this kind of stuff. I’m just saying. Onto the plot.

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

The Joker and the Penguin break out of Arkham Asylum and race each other to find a stash of stolen money hidden within a crypt in Gotham Cemetery. The Joker is quickly intercepted by the Batman and is electrocuted when he falls into a river by his super-charged joy buzzers while the Penguin takes the opportunity to enter the cemetery himself. While searching through a crypt, the Penguin accidentally cuts his hand while using his umbrella-sword to open a coffin he hopes contains the money, finding a body instead. The blood from his hand drips on the corpse’s heart, which brings it to life; it is none other than thevampire lord Count Dracula, his body having been moved from Transylvania to Gotham City after his “death.” After attacking and turning a watchman at the cemetery into a vampire, Dracula hypnotizes the Penguin into becoming his non-vampiric servant so that he may lead him through Gotham to feed and guard his coffin during the day while he regains his strength.

While patrolling the city, the Batman witnesses a vampire attack, but decides to put the incident at the back of his mind and, as Bruce Wayne, proceeds to host a corporate party at his manor. The invigorated Dracula appears at the party, disguised as a cultural anthropologist under the name Dr. “Alucard” (“Dracula” spelled backwards), claiming to be visiting to study the Batman (believing his legacy had an influence on Batman’s existence), and takes an interest in Vicki Vale, a reporter who is interviewing and dating Bruce. After failing to turn Bruce into a vampire to quench his thirst, Dracula turns a waiter into a vampire that assaults Bruce’s butler Alfred. Realizing the imminent danger, Bruce immediately deduces “Alucard” is Dracula. Upon further research, Bruce learns that Dracula is behind the disappearances of several Gotham citizens, who have been dubbed “Lost Ones” by the media and turned into vampires, and attempts to find a way to synthesize a vaccine for the victims. Due to eyewitnesses claiming to see a bat-like figure during the attacks, however, it is mistakenly reported that the Batman is behind the disappearances instead. When Batman goes to Gotham Cemetery to look for Dracula, he gets chased down by a SWAT unit, all of whose members are taken by Dracula as they chase him back into the city. During a fight with the Batman, Dracula offers him to join him in his conquest of Gotham, though the Batman naturally refuses. Just as Dracula has the Batman at his mercy, the sun rises and Dracula is forced to retreat, vowing to kill Batman for rejecting his offer.

At the cemetery, the Joker reappears alive and well and confronts the Penguin, saying the shock to his head helped. He asks where the treasure is, thinking Penguin has already found it, chasing him into Dracula’s tomb. However, despite Penguin’s warning to not open Dracula’s coffin, Joker ends up “breakfast in bed, freshly-squeezed” for Dracula. The Batman tracks down the vampire Joker as he feasts in a blood bank and captures him. While the Batman attempts to concoct an antidote from the Joker’s infected cellular structure, Alfred discovers that Dracula once had a vampire bride, Carmilla Karnstein, who met her demise when she was exposed to sunlight. During his research, however, Bruce stands up an understanding Vicki, who is soon kidnapped by Dracula. Finally, the Batman is able to cure the Joker of his vampirism and ascertain the location of Dracula’s lair in Gotham Cemetery before returning him to Arkham. He then proceeds to mass-produce the vaccine to defeat Dracula and cure his victims.

Dracula attempts to sacrifice Vicki's soul to reanimate his bride Carmilla. Upon learning that Vicki has been kidnapped, the Batman rushes to Dracula’s lair with his anti-vampirism vaccine and arsenal of weapons, defeating and curing all the “Lost Ones” that attack him in the catacombs beneath Gotham Cemetery. The Batman then frees Vicki, disrupting the reanimation ritual. Dracula sends the Penguin to recapture Vicki while he fights the Batman, who lures Dracula into the Batcave and towards his prototype solar energy-storing machine and incinerates him with the sunlight stored within, reducing Dracula to a pile of ash and bones. This also frees the Penguin from his control, who, while chasing Vicki, finally finds the hidden treasure that caused all the trouble in the first place. Sadly for Penguin, he is arrested and blamed for Dracula’s kidnappings, causing the media to think he was forcing people to find the treasure. Having defeated an ultimate evil, the Batman triumphantly continues his duties to defend Gotham against anyone who may threaten its safety.

Contrary to my opinion of this being random, I really dug this movie. It didn’t quite hit me like Return of the Joker, Phantasm or Sub-Zero, but it was a much appreciated breath of fresh air after having to put up with Mystery of the Batwoman being so… Uninspired. This however, what’s a more inspired (if not, again, random) idea than Batman having to match wits with the Gothic Prince of Darkness, Count Dracula. Brought to a wonderfully creepy life through the voice of character actor, Peter Stormare. And makes this movie better for me, is that it’s set in a series that was a big part of my childhood; The Batman! While in all of my last four reviews I praised Kevin Conroy and company for their delightful and iconic takes of these characters, Batman: The Animated Series was not the Batman I grew up on. Like many, I actually spent my Saturday mornings looking forward to the continuing adventures of the caped crusader on Kids WB brought to life through the efforts of Rino Romano and company in their own series, The Batman. And that’s not to say I never watched B:TAS, I caught a few episodes here and there growing up, and of course like any sane 12 year old, I religiously watched Justice League and Justice League Unlimited on Cartoon Network. I also watched plenty of Teen Titans as well, but that review is next on the itinerary. But either way, I don’t get why people don’t talk about this show so much? It may not have had the same level of prestige as TAS and it may not have been as reverent to what came before it as The Brave and The Bold. But it was still pretty clever, the animation was generally pretty great, and how do you not love that theme by U2’s The Edge? Anywho, let’s get the pros and cons!

PROS:

• Peter Stormare is wonderful as Dracula!
• Kevin Michael Richardson gives a great performance as the Joker, I find him extremely underrated!
• Tom Kenny surprisingly makes for a pretty kick ass Penguin.
• Rino Romano is wonderful as Batman and Bruce Wayne respectively.
• Tara Strong is in this movie, I like Tara Strong.
• There are parts of this movie where the Joker is arguably creepier than Mark, Jack and Heath’s Jokers respectively. Not combined of course, God only knows how creepy that would be. Or maybe just Scott Snyder. 
  Seriously, what the fuck man?
• This Dracula is actually DRACULA, it’s not some toned down cartoonish caricature of the Lord of the Vampires, it is the real deal and creepy as hell.
• The vampires in this movie suck blood, they don’t steer away from it, we see them actually chomping down on people’s necks and lapping it up.
• Before being brainwashed, The Penguin refuses to serve Dracula. This feels pretty in character to me, given how much of an arrogant bastard he generally is.
• Vampire Joker is especially creepy!
• This is more of pro from the actual series, but I like that Penguin and The Joker are actually worthy physical combatants to Batman. They aren’t some guys who use tricks to best the guy, they can actually best him physically. This makes the fights more intense when you realize that these are actually guys that Batman can’t put down with ease.
• Batman actually gets to use science to solve his problems for once. This is something that we never really got to see Batman do in his prime in these movies. I say in his prime because we see Bruce trying to synthesize an antidote for the Joker Venom in the Batman Beyond movie. But regardless, Batman isn’t just a master detective and excellent combatant, he has degrees in advanced science and engineering! This is something I enjoy seeing
• The flashbacks/dream sequences in this film are wonderfully eery and well handled, especially with the repeated use of the Martha Wayne’s pearls falling onto the ground and always transitioning with the sound of a gunshot.
• When we first hear that the Joker’s broken out of Arkham again, all of the inmates sort of cheer. I find that funny.
• Joker’s “death” was really well handled, and while it wasn’t as emotionally effective as it was in Return of the Joker, it was, again, very creepy. With The Joker letting go of the ledge he was hanging from screaming “BYE BYE BATSY!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” Quickly realizing his joybuzzer was malfunctioning and struggling to keep afloat when hits the water as the electricity brings him to his final end. Or so I thought.
• There’s this quick scene where Dracula feeds on the Joker inside his coffin and Penguin tries to make a joke about it, but you can see he’s absolutely horrified. This is especially great because of the Penguin’s face where he just stares at the scene like “That is the most fucked up thing I’ve ever seen in my life!”

CONS:

• While I generally find Tara Strong to be a delightful presence, I don’t get why Vicki Vale had to be here.
• While the movie doesn’t stray away from the horror aspect, I wish it had the maturity to actually talk the way characters would here. I’m not asking for something like Blade where characters openly and actively use the f-bomb multiple times throughout, but actually throw out some real insults.
• At the end of their final conflict, as Dracula is dying, he proclaims in a horrified confusion that Batman is Bruce Wayne. Why did he just now acknowledge this? He never noted it beforehand or even hinted at knowing this, it just sort of comes off like a superhero movie cliche that the villain must always find out the hero’s true identity before being finally defeated.
• I wish we’d been given more explanation about these vampires, every good movie featuring these creatures gives some kind of explanation about what the deal is.

Overall, this was a real treat. It felt good to hear Rino, Tom, Kevin and Alistair Duncan again as Batman, Penguin, Joker and Alfred respectively. Peter Stormare was great as Dracula. And the story was surprisingly effective emotionally, I won’t say it hit me as hard as Mask of the Phantasm and Return of the Joker, but it did something that none of these other movies have really done for me; creeped me the fuck out! I’d say Return of the Joker came close, but with that added element of science fiction, in my mind it felt like something that could easily be corrected. With this movie though, I was genuinely left wondering, how the fuck is this going to be fixed? Ultimately, I’m gonna give The Batman Vs. Dracula a 7.8 out of 10.