The Michael Bay Retrospective Series - Transfomers (2007)

Written In October 2013

Well folks, we’ve come to another big one, this and the next two films have single handled shaped the popular perception of Michael Bay as a director. The Transformers films are what have truly cemented into craptastic overblown CG eyesore festivities of big dumb action entertainment. But what people aren’t aware of, is that Bay wasn’t even interested in the project, and was asked onto by none other than the film’s executive producer, classic filmmaker Steven Spielberg. Spielberg himself was a lifelong fan of the Transformers comics and toys, was very keen on getting this film made. The original idea behind the initial script was “A boy and his car” which led to many great things such as entering adulthood and gaining more responsibility, these things go hand in hand with your first car, after all, what’s a greater symbol of freedom in American culture than a car? This was an idea encouraged by Spielberg that could’ve led to a very great movie… Upon entering the production, Bay threw out this draft calling it “Too kiddie.” and subsequently beefed up the existing role of the military in the film to make it feel more adult. You can already tell something that Bay and Spielberg should’ve already realized; the ideas of these two filmmakers are too different. Spielberg’s films have always had a heart to them, he makes you care deeply for them. Characters before story, story before action. That’s how Spielberg does it. Michael Bay, love him or hate him, is all about excitement. His style is all about, as the great Doug Walker once put it, “appealing to testosterone fueled man-penis!” While Spielberg makes films for families to enjoy. This are two aesthetics that simply do not work together… But surprisingly, they kind of did, with a 57% on Rotten Tomatoes, this Michael Bay’s second most critically well received film. So, seeing as how this film marks a collaboration, I thought it might be neat to do a collaboration of my own with my friend Arye, a fellow Transformers fan. But before this, let’s get to the plot summary.

Plot Summary Taken from Wikipedia:

Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, narrates the collapse of the Transformers’ home world, Cybertron. It was destroyed by war between the Autobots and the Decepticons. Led by Megatron, the Decepticons were searching for the AllSpark so they could use it to take over the universe. The Autobots want to find the AllSpark so they can use it to rebuild Cybertron and end the war. Megatron managed to locate the AllSpark on Earth, but crash-landed in the Arctic Circle and froze in the ice. After stumbling upon his frozen body in 1897, explorer Captain Archibald Witwickyaccidentally activated Megatron’s navigational system and his eye glasses were imprinted with the coordinates of the AllSpark’s location, an incident that left him blind and mentally unstable. Sector 7, a secret government organization created by President Herbert Hoover, discovered the AllSpark in the Colorado River and built the Hoover Dam around it to mask its energy emissions. The still-frozen Megatron was moved into this facility and was used to advance human technology through reverse engineering.

In the present day, the Decepticon known as Blackout attacks a U.S. military base in Qatar in order to find the location of Megatron and the AllSpark. He tries to hack into the files of the computer base, but is stopped when the base commander cuts the computer hard lines. Captain William Lennox and his team manage to escape from the base and search for help. Back in the United States, Captain Witwicky’s descendant Sam Witwicky buys his first car, which turns out to be the Autobot scout Bumblebee, who tries to help him woo his crush Mikaela Banes. Later, Sam catches a glimpse of Bumblebee’s true form when he signals the other Autobots.

On Air Force One, another Decepticon named Frenzy infiltrates the plane and tries to hack into the network again, only this time is more successful until he is stopped by the US Security Defense before he can retrieve all of the file information. Frenzy is then picked up by his partner Barricade and they go after Sam after learning he has the glasses needed to find the AllSpark. Sam is rescued by Bumblebee and Mikaela also learns of the Transformers’ existence. Bumblebee fights Barricade and manages to subdue him while Sam and Mikaela decapitate Frenzy, although he still survives and disguises himself as Mikaela’s phone.

Meanwhile, Scorponok, who was sent by Blackout, goes after Captain Lennox and his team, murdering one of them and injuring another. During the battle, Scorponok is forced to retreat when he gets injured by sabot rounds fired on him by the Air Force. Lennox and his team are then returned to the United States and report their findings on the Decepticons to the Pentagon.

Sam and Mikaela soon meet Optimus Prime and his other Autobot partners Jazz, Ironhide, and Ratchet. They explain their origins to the two humans and insist on the urgency to get to the Allspark first before the Decepticons, knowing that the Decepticons plan to use it to turn all of Earth’s technologies into a new army of Transformers and render humanity extinct. The Autobots bring the two humans back to Sam’s house to find the glasses, and they nearly reveal their existence to Sam’s parents by accident. However, Sector 7 agent Seymour Simmons and his team find Sam and take his family away to a classified location after learning Sam came into contact with the Autobots. Optimus and the Autobots try to rescue Sam and Mikaela, however they fail and Bumblebee ends up getting captured along with Sam and Mikaela. The Autobots, however, retrieve the glasses and use them to find the AllSpark’s location so they can destroy it before the Decepticons use it. Sam and Mikaela are taken to Hoover Dam, along with two hackers named Maggie and Glenn, who were arrested by the FBI for trying to decipher the information Frenzy stole while working in the Pentagon.

Frenzy, who was transported to the dam while in disguise, finds the AllSpark and contacts the other Decepticons, Starscream, Bonecrusher, Brawl, Barricade, and Blackout. Starscream attacks the dam and Frenzy frees Megatron from his frozen prison, where he joins his cohorts into chasing down Sam and the Autobots. Bumblebee shrinks the cube to a reasonable size so they can escape with it. They then arrive at Mission City, where a large battle ensues. Working together, the Autobots and human soldiers defeat Bonecrusher, Blackout and Brawl. However, Bumblebee is crippled and Jazz is killed by Megatron. When Megatron begins to gain the upper hand in the fight, Optimus urges Sam to put the AllSpark in his chest, which will destroy them both. Instead, Sam instead inserts the cube into Megatron’s chest, which kills him and destroys the AllSpark.

In the aftermath, the dead Transformer bodies are dumped into the Laurentian Abyss in the Atlantic Ocean to be hidden, the government orders the closure of Sector 7, and the Witwicky family is released from custody. Sam and Mikaela soon start a new relationship and Optimus says that the Autobots’ fates have given them a new home, Earth, and sends a message calling out all surviving Autobots to join them. In a mid-credits scene, Starscream escapes into space.

Coty: So my experience with Transformers prior to these films was primarily what’s called the Unicron Trilogy, 3 separate cartoons which formed a loose trilogy long story arc, which ran from about 2002 to about 2007. I have no real experience with the original shows but I did catch bits and pieces of Beast Wars and Robots in Disguise.

Arye: I had a different sort of experience. I grew up, literally, SURROUNDED by Transformers. My uncle had the first animated movie on DVD; I’d play with his action figures (at least the ones that weren’t collectible!), and have distinct memories of waking up early to watch Cybertron. These bots are pretty much my childhood, so my expectations of the movies were super high.

Coty: I remember enjoying this movie when I saw it, but never really thinking much of it there after, I’m pretty sure I liked the second one more just for the fact that I didn’t remember much about it. My big movie for ‘07 was Spider-Man 3.

Arye: I liked these movies, all of them. Actually, I STILL like these movies, even with their glaring inaccuracies and….well, Sam. I think that I liked the second one more, and, honestly, it’s a lot more memorable for me than Spidey 3.

Coty: I think that may just be I have more fandom for Spider-Man and I was really hyped for that movie. But in any case, behind The Rock, this is Michael Bay’s most well received film, and caries a 57% on Rotten Tomatoes. I personally find that even with my appreciation for Transformers this is not a better film than some of Bay’s other efforts. It has too things going on in it, and I find the film’s sense of humor very grating.

Arye: I don’t mind the humor (mostly), but have other issues with this movie, and most of them are named Sam. Of course the ridiculous number of subplots going also grate at my sense of elegance in storytelling, but I think that a strong lead does wonders for a movie. Unfortunately, this isn’t a movie that had one, but it had the POTENTIAL for one in Makayla, who I found just all around more interesting and less irritating.

Coty: I agree, I find Megan Fox to be quite a credible actress honestly, nobody in this cast is gonna win an Oscar for best performance, but she’s nowhere near as awful as people say.

Arye: Personally, I think that there’s a tendency to be like “Oh, that’s Megan Fox. She’s just eye-candy,” but she honestly plays a pretty great badass chick. That might boil down to how she is in real life or just generally characters she relates to, but it’s a definite Thing, and I appreciate that about her.

Coty: Also, I find Sam to be an incredibly grating presence ranging from his guilting his teacher and trying to sell antique family heirlooms to making an unprovoked insult after being given a good natured ribbing and ditching his friend to pick up a chick to his insistence on referring to bumblebee as his car

Arye: I concur! Seriously, though, am I the only one who notices Sam’s severe Nice Guy Syndrome? There are three movies that focus around this douchebag, but he’s probably one of their biggest detracting factors.

Coty: I feel like almost my problems with this film would go away if you just remove this one single component.

Arye: I mean, of course there would still be some, like the fact that each film has enough subplots for, like, FOUR MOVIES, but there are a lot of issues that I have that would be non-issues sans Sam. For example, the lack of development of the soldiers. I thought that they were awesome characters with a great backstory, but it’s hard to convey that when Sam’s hormones are hogging the majority of the movie.

Coty: Honestly you remove him, that takes out one more subplot thus leaving more breathing room.

Arye: Though not a lot, since this is a subplot-packed movie.

Coty: True, but think of the movie as a tray a waiter is trying to balance it has five dishes on one tray, that’s a tricky task. But if one of the patrons had to leave and cancel his order, he now has an easier task to accomplish.

Arye: It would have been hard, regardless, to balance everything in this freaking movie, though. The soldiers, for example, could have been their own movie. And that would have been a good movie. I would have paid to see it. Of course, you also have the super-secret agent men, whose experiences could have been a pretty decent movie, and Makayla, who comes into Transformers like a returning character instead of someone new to the scene.

Coty: Also, speaking of the agent, can we talk about him? I’m a fan of the actor from his appearances on Monk, as Monk’s older (and even more neurotic) brother, but my God was his character terrible! He was ridiculously unprofessional! What with his comments about McKayla and such

Arye: I understand that there are interrogation techniques put into use there that were probably extensively researched, but you have to pull that shit off, and he didn’t.

Coty: I feel like it was something to do with the actor’s delivery. I think if you had someone either trashier or classier it would’ve came off better, but as it stands he comes off like he’s simultaneously trying to be that weird dad who constantly tries in the worst way to relate to young people

Arye: And James Bond. It’s just really awkward, and it made me uncomfortable.

Coty: I feel like if they went all the way in one direction or the other it would’ve worked better. If they snagged like a Timothy Dalton or Bryan Cranston or someone else we could’ve REALLY hit a home run with this guy

Arye: And then he would’ve been awesome! The agent made me laugh sometimes, I’ll admit, but it felt like a cheap laugh at the expense of a potentially good character.

Coty: Also, I literally groaned when Bumblebee just pissed all over him, I thought he was better in his scenes at the Hoover Dam though, I really like the scene where he slips the Motorola phone in the glass case and comments “You’ve got to respect the Japanese, they know the way.. Of the samurai.” And then he turns the machine that makes it a transformer, and I really love the moment after destroying it where it calls it “Like the little bitty energizer bunny from hell.”

Arye: I think that he had his great moments, most certainly. There were certainly moments for almost every character in this movie, my personal favorite being when Jazz asks if Megatron wants a piece of him and then Megatron responds “No, I want two!” before ripping him in half, but moments do not a movie make. Those brief glimmers of awesome don’t save it from the wide array of flaws that it has.

Coty: Yeah, speaking of the actual transformers, what did you think of the voice cast and the designs? I’m a fan of Hugo Weaving, there are moments where you can tell it’s him, but I hate how they made him and all the decepticons look like frickin’ monsters here.

Arye: I was actually really fond of the voice acting, and thought that the designs were amaaaaaaaazing! I’ve worked with the software that they would’ve used to create these bots, and oh my God. That detail. As for the Decepticons, I thought that they looked suitably sinister, especially compared to the much more benign appearing Autobots.

Coty: I agree it’s a good thing they look sinister, but I dislike that chose to make it so obvious. The decepticons always looked intimidating, but they never had jagged teeth and such monstrous voices

Arye: I think that maybe it’s a matter of personal preference here. Personally, I was terrified of Megatron as a kid, and enjoyed seeing him have a look that matched the sinister persona I’d built up for him in my head. Additionally, I thought that the voices were perfect, especially Starscream’s, which had always been nasally and high-pitched to the point of being a detriment in the cartoons.

Arye: I guess it is a matter of preference, but I really loved the look of the autobots, especially Optimus. I think that the Autobots, on their own, had a great look, and that it’s even more stunning when compared to the Decepticons. There was something really clean and streamlined about the Autobots that just exuded this good guy aura that I loved. Comparatively, the Decepticons had a lot of blockinesss and jagged edges that screamed “Don’t fuck with us; we’re the bad guys.”

Coty: Speaking of the differences, they should’ve given the decipticons more different designs from each other, you couldn’t always tell who was who in the movie

Arye: That I’ll give you. I knew which was Megatron because of how humongous he was, but I think that different paint jobs would have done this wonders. They had such distinctive looks and paint jobs in the cartoon, and I would have loved to see that in a real life format.

Coty: I agree, also, while he’s not my personal favorite Optimus, I think Cullen slips into the role like you would a warm bed with a electric blanket on a cold winter night

Arye: Oh most certainly. Optimus has such a very distinctive voice, and fans have a definite expectation of what it’ll sound like. Cullen definitely delivered on that.

Coty: Indeed, and speaking of Optimus, I really appreciated his characterization in this film, when Sam kills Megatron he looks sad about it and even says “I’m sorry my brother.”

Arye: I think that it’s easy to forget that Transformers is about two factions of the same species with different ideas about how to save their dying race, and that Optimus was once friends with Megatron. At that moment, you definitely get the lost friendship feeling.

Coty: Indeed, although speaking of his demise I hate that he was killed the way he was, and I especially hate that his death came at Sam’s hand

Arye: I don’t think that it made much sense to kill him if you’re just going to bring him back. The Decepticons were always getting run off in the cartoon, and I don’t know why Megatron has to become the fucking grimdark equivalent of Jesus Christ for these movies to go forward.

Coty: He was only killed twice, and he hasn’t been confirmed for Part 4 yet. Also, I think killing Megatron in Part 1, made for a good ending if they only got to make one movie, and bringing him back in part 2 really does good for the tone of “OH SHIT! We are FUCKED!” What with killing Optimus AND bringing in Megatron’s boss

Arye: My issue with killing Megatron just to bring him back in Part 2 is that, for me, it cheapened what had been a really great scene in the first movie where I totally believed that Optimus was genuinely sad to see his rival gone. It’s just like “Welp. Those were unnecessary feelings you had there.”

Coty: I like what his death and resurrection do to the films they happen in, but I agree that they don’t work in tandem

Arye: And when you’re making a series of movies, you have to think to yourself “Do these ideas work well together?”

Coty: I make the argument though that when you’re making a trilogy, the other two stories all hinge is the first one financially successful, but granted, they didn’t kill Vader in A New Hope. Another argument I have however, is only the diehard fans genuinely care about these characters

Arye: Come now, Coty. Don’t discount diehard fans. They go to these movies, and that’s a significant amount of revenue. Also! I’m sorry, but the technical flaw present in bringing Megatron back in the second movie is unavoidable, because it’s a huge kink in storytelling.

Coty: Like I said, they didn’t kill Vader in A New Hope, however, they did kill Maul in the Phantom Menace

Arye: My issue with comparing Vader to Maul is that it’s not apples to apples. Maul was a big deal within Phantom Menace, and an awesome villain, but he is not to Star Wars what Megatron is to Transformers by a long shot.

Coty: Yeah, he’s more the Starscream I suppose

Arye: I can go with comparing him to Starscream. My thing with Megatron is that, even though they have other, arguably more powerful villains, he’s an important part of Transformers’ identity as a series. He should not be killed off and brought back to life lightly.

Coty: Agreed, so overall what would you score the movie?

Arye: I’d give it a 2.5 out of 5. Yes, it’s corny and really flawed, but I still find this an enjoyable film.

Coty: I’m gonna give it an even 2 out of 5, this film isn’t great, but Bay has far worse films in his repertoire.

Arye: That’s true.

Coty: I’d say Pearl Harbor and Bad Boys II are both worse than this movie. Much worse actually.

Arye: We’re not gonna talk about Pearl Harbor.

Coty: we’re also not gonna talk about Will Smith acting drunk while waving a gun in front of a 15 year old boy while Martin Lawrence watches and says nothing of it.

Arye: No. We’re just gonna pretend that none of that ever happened.

Coty: Good idea.