DC Animated Superhero Retrospective Series - Justice League: War (2014)

Written In February 2014 

Updated In October 2014

You know how my last review that it’s going to be worse next movie? Now that I’ve seen the next movie, I don’t think it actually is worse. I mean, it’s not GOOD, or even decent, but it’s better than Flashpoint. Not by much, but still. It’s kind of like when I talked Superman/Batman: Apocalypse. It stinks badly, but it stinks better than the last steaming pile of cow dung that I talked about.

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

A series of strange abductions have occurred in Gotham City, with video footage suggesting that Batman, a wanted costumed vigilante, is behind the incidents. When a mysterious cloaked kidnapper abducts a woman, Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) arrives to confront the kidnapper and saves the woman when she is dropped from above. Green Lantern then attacks the kidnapper revealing it to be a monstrous Parademon. As the hero is about to be killed, Batman appears and saves Green Lantern from the rooftop. The Parademon resumes its position and attacks both heroes. They escape from the GCPD and chase the Parademon into the sewers, where it charges a Mother Box, and then it explodes. Batman and Green Lantern check the Box, and deducing it to be extraterrestrial origin, decide to seek Superman for answer. Another Mother Box is being studied at S.T.A.R. Labs, supplied by The Flash (Barry Allen). Silas Stone, father of Vic Stone, ignores going to his son’s football game so he can study the Box. Arriving in Metropolis, Batman and Green Lantern end up fighting Superman (who has fought a Parademon previously) and confuses the heroes for working with it. The battle spreads over a portion of the city, but it finally stops when Batman calls the Man of Steel “Clark”. Superman, in return, uses his x-ray vision and recognizes Batman as Bruce Wayne. The three heroes then begin to collaborate. On another planet Apokolips, Darkseid orders Desaad to begin invasion on Earth.

Vic arrives at S.T.A.R. Labs and has an argument with his father, who believes that football has no importance in a world that is changing with the appearance of metahumans. At the Daily Planet, Superman, Batman, and Green Lantern realize the invasion, just as the Box activates and several Boom Tubes appear throughout the world, including S.T.A.R. Labs. An explosion fatally wounding and embedding the Box’s technology into Vic, forcing S.T.A.R. Lab to take Vic to an emergency room in order to save him. Silas loads Vic into a hi-tech medical bed, connecting his son with various technologies. Countless number of Parademons starts to appear around the world, attacking everyone on sight. The Box’s technology ends up connected into Vic and the labs’ equipment, transforming Vic into a cyborg. Just as the Flash arrives to save the scientists, Cyborg’s systems reveal details on Apokolips, Darkseid, and the invasion plan. At his foster home, teenager Billy Batson spots a Parademon outside and mystically turns into the superhero Shazam. The Air Force One is attacked in the air only to be saved by the Amazon princess, Wonder Woman (Diana Prince) and Superman. After the heroes gather, as Cyborg reveals that the invasion is a set up to terraforming the Earth, Darkseid arrives and proves to be a powerful opponent who defeats each hero effortlessly.

Superman is captured and Batman stops Green Lantern and convinces him to help the heroes work together after he unmasked himself. Wayne then gets himself captured in order to save Superman. Green Lantern, acting as a leader, gets everyone together and decides to defeat Darkseid they must disable his eyes first, preventing him from using his Omega Beams. Batman arrives in Apokolips and stops Desaad from turning Superman into a Parademon, but due to the brainwashing, Superman goes on a rampage. Batman eventually able to reasoned with Superman, helping him regain control. Back on Earth, after successfully disabling Darkseid, Cyborg connects with the Mother Box to reopen the Boom Tubes to send the tyrant and his army back to their home world. Though the Parademons are gone, Darkseid remains, and after Superman and Batman arrive and take a combined effort to force the tyrant into the portal. With the world saved, the once-discriminated superheroes gain the public’s trust and are honored at the White House. Grateful to have met others like themselves but debating if they should be a team if a similar threat happens again, the President asks if they have a name, to which the new formed lineup are annoyed when Shazam abruptly announces the “Super Seven” without the others’ consent.

Funny story, when I was first reading the casting announcement for this movie, I thought Michelle Monaghan (this movie’s Wonder Woman) was this chick

Who, with all due respect to Gal, could’ve been a great Wondy in live action! But as it turns out, that’s not Michelle. That’s Paula Paton, who for some ungodly reason, is wed to this asshole.

Or at least she was! 

But anywho, apparently Michelle is Mission: Impossible alumni, just not the alumni I thought of

This is Michelle Monaghan, who was Tom Cruise’s wife is M:I3… Oh well.

CONS:

• This isn’t a bad cast, but some of the actors are really not suited to voice work.
• Darksied is utterly wasted as a bad guy with Steve Blum’s talent as a voice actor being thrown aside as well.
• Whoever this Justin Kirk guy is, he has a really annoying voice!
• Sean Astin is really wasted as Shazam, a shame because that sounds like perfect voice casting!
• This is the most ridiculous Wonder Woman I’ve ever watched. It’s not the worst, that pleasure goes to the last movie’s Wondy, but this Wonder Woman is practically a caricature.
• Why is Shazam here, when the original comic had Aquaman? I like Shazam, and I’m not against changing a comic, but isn’t that a really radical change to omit one character entirely for another? That’s like adapting Dark Knight Returns and swapping out Superman for Green Lantern! It doesn’t make any sense.
• “You’re strong.” “I know.” That’s the set up for Superman and Wonder Woman as a couple… That’s the fucking set up! Fuck you and your lazy writing movie!
• This Superman feels like the one in Man of Steel, but dumber. The Superman in MOS is a rookie, this is literally the first time he’s ever been in a fight and he’s not even one hundred percent sure how to use his abilities correctly since he spends so much time trying to hold them back. The Superman in this movie is established, and is blatantly using his powers recklessly against opponents he could easily kill for being so reckless.
• They really pussified GL in this movie. He’s practically useless.
• Victor Stone’s nickname is Victory? That’s the least creative nickname I’ve ever heard, and people usually just call me buddy.
• You have George Newbern in a movie with Superman but you don’t have him voice Superman? Why?
• Victor grabs a mother box right before it goes off and that’s why he has to become to Cyborg. That’s… Just… Stupid!
• Victor’s father is needlessly dickish. I think any parent could understand their kid being so frustrated with them not attending the even they’re part of. But instead of apologizing he says that the presence of people like Superman invalidates the importance of athletes.
  
  
  Well said Bill Murray, well said.
• Why did the writers decide to make Billy Batson a little shithead? He’s a blatant thief and then he’s a just plain dick to his foster siblings who are nothing but good to him. Geoff Johns can you explain this to me?

PROS:

• While I did just complain about this Superman, I was actually warmly surprised by him. He wasn’t that big of a douche. I mean he was still a douche, but he wasn’t as douchey as some of the horror stories about his New 52 run have suggested. And plus, Alan Tudyk, whom I adore, did a great job as Supes!
• Everybody seems less than impressed with Jason O'Mara’s Batman, I don’t understand why. I thought he was pretty good! I mean he’s not Kevin Conroy, but he does a really good job. I’m looking forward to hearing him again in Son of Batman.
• Sean Astin is perfect casting for Shazam!
• I’m a big fan of Criminal Minds and I loved having Shemar Moore here as Cyborg! Great casting!
• The score is pretty good!
• I really liked Wonder Woman’s design here.
• There’s a lot of scenes in this movie, that are great in GIF form, like when Wonder Woman tries ice cream for the first time and declares ICE CREAM IS WONDERFUL!

That’s really all I can say guys, this movie is really forgettable. I’m really neutral about since, while it has numerous problems, it just didn’t really do anything for me. I didn’t hate, but I really didn’t like it either. I’m gonna give Justice League: War a 4.5 out of 10.