The Spider-Man Retrospective Series - Spider-Man 3 (2007)

Written In May 2014

This movie does not suck. Can we just get that out of the way real quick. There are parts of this movie on par with the likes of Batman & Robin, but guess what? There are also parts of this movie on par with Batman Begins and The Dark Knight! And there are also parts of this movie that sit somewhere in between. And given what was going on behind the scenes on this one, it’s a miracle that the feel turned out the way it did, because if you think this movie is bad, it could’ve been MUCH much worse. This could’ve surpassed Batman & Robin level bad gone strait into Howard The Duck and Steel bad! What happened you ask?

Well, Sam Raimi is a known fan of classic Spider-Man. As in Spidey circa when STAN LEE was still writing the book. He was never a huge fan of the later versions of the character by other people. Meaning when we got into Venom and the alien costume, well, that stuff just wasn’t his cup of tea. So when producer, Avid Arad, came to Sam saying “Dude, you know what fans would EAT UP? Mother. Fucking. Venom!” Sam said “Uh, no, I think I’ll just do Sandman instead, thanks for the advice though.” But Avi and Sony decided to twist Sam’s arm about because Venom would sell tickets. Given that this is the highest grossing movie of the franchise so far despite mixed reception, they weren’t wrong.

So the three of the said “Fuck it, we’ll do both.” But then that left the question of “What about Harry? I mean, aren’t most folks expecting him to become the Green Goblin in the next movie or something?” A question which they decided to work on addressing in an early screenplay for this movie that started being written in ‘04 after the last movie came out. In other words, fucking commercialism ruined the movie. Why don’t you think about that while I read you this synopsis.

Plot Summary Taken From Wikipedia:

Peter Parker plans to propose to Mary Jane Watson, who had just made her Broadway musical debut. A meteorite crashes near the two in Central Park, and an extraterrestrial symbiote attaches itself to Peter’s moped. While fleeing police, escaped prisoner Flint Marko falls into a particle accelerator that fuses his body with surrounding sand, allowing him to shapeshift at will as the Sandman. Peter’s best friend, Harry Osborn, who knows Peter is Spider-Man and blames him for his father’s death, attacks Peter using weapons based on his father’s Green Goblin technology. Harry injures his head and suffers partial amnesia, forgetting that Peter is Spider-Man and his desire for revenge. During a festival honoring Spider-Man, Marko robs an armored car. NYPD Captain George Stacy tells Peter and Aunt May that Marko was Uncle Ben’s killer, and Dennis Carradine was only an accomplice. While a vengeful Peter sleeps, the symbiote bonds with him. Peter wakes up hanging from a skyscraper. His costume changes and his powers enhance, but the symbiote brings out Peter’s dark side. Wearing the new black suit, Spider-Man locates Marko and battles him in a subway tunnel, reducing him to mud using water.

Mary Jane, whose career is floundering, is humiliated by Peter’s changed personality and she finds solace with Harry. Urged on by a hallucination of his father, Harry regains his memory and blackmails Mary Jane to break up with Peter, threatening Peter’s life. After Mary Jane tells Peter she is in love with another man (under Harry’s direction), Harry meets with Peter and claims to be “the other guy”. Later, Peter, wearing the black suit, confronts Harry and battles him. Harry throws a pumpkin bomb at Peter, who deflects it back, disfiguring Harry’s face.

Under the symbiote’s influence, Peter exposes Eddie Brock, a rival photographer at the Daily Bugle, by submitting doctored photographs showing Spider-Man as a criminal. Furious at having to print a retraction, J. Jonah Jameson dismisses Eddie. Meanwhile, the Sandman recovers from his injuries.

To make Mary Jane jealous, Peter brings Gwen Stacy, a woman Brock believes is his girlfriend, to the nightclub where Mary Jane works; Brock secretly sees them and assumes they are dating. Gwen catches on and storms out. Peter brawls with the bouncers and, after mistakenly hitting Mary Jane, realizes the symbiote is changing him. He retreats to a church bell tower. While trying to remove the symbiote costume, he hits the church’s bell, weakening the alien and making it easier to remove. Peter tears the symbiote off and it falls to the lower tower, landing on Brock, who is praying for Peter’s death. The symbiote transforms Brock into Venom and he accepts his new form. Venom finds the Sandman and offers to join forces in which he agrees.

Mary Jane hails a taxicab but Brock hijacks it and hangs it and a dump truck from a web hundreds of feet above a sand-filled construction site. Peter seeks Harry’s help but is rejected. A crowd of people watch as Peter battles Brock. Harry learns the truth about his father’s death from his butler and goes to help Peter. Peter is eventually overwhelmed by the villains and is on the brink of being killed when Harry appears. Harry temporarily subdues a gigantic incarnation of the Sandman, breaking him apart. Brock webs Harry’s glider, causing it to bump into some pipes, making sonic vibrations that weaken the symbiote. Peter recalls the church bells weakening it previously. Brock tries impaling Peter with Harry’s glider, but Harry sacrifices himself by jumping in the way and getting himself fatally injured. Peter forms a ring of pipes around Venom, creating a wall of sonic vibrations. The alien releases Brock, and Peter pulls Brock away from the creature, which can now live on its own. Peter throws a pumpkin bomb from Harry’s glider at the symbiote, but Brock moves to re-bond with it and both are killed by the blast.

Marko reveals that he never intended to kill Ben, but only wanted his car and accidentally shot him when Dennis grabbed his arm, and says that Ben’s death has haunted him since. Peter forgives Marko, who dissolves into sand and floats away. Peter and Harry forgive each other before Harry dies with Mary Jane and Peter at his side. Days later, Peter visits the jazz club where Mary Jane is singing, and they begin mending their relationship.

So another thing you might’ve noticed is that the score sounded kind of different this time around. Let me show you guys something. This is the theme from the first movie. This is the theme from the second movie. These themes were both done by Danny Elfman, who up until this movie was known for having a regular affair with Sam. I say he was having an affair because we all know that he, Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, and Helena Bonham Carter all have a polygamous relationship with each other. BUT! Apparently, for undisclosed reasons, Danny got real tired of Sam’s shit and said he’s done with him. Although they kissed and made up some time between Drag Me To Hell and Oz The Great And Powerful, because Danny did the score for that one again. So who did this score?

Meet Christopher Young, best known for his work on Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge, Tales From The Hood, and the Hellraiser series, which itself is best known for this handsome fellow.

If you’re like me, and you don’t really care for horror, you know this guy best as another creep you see in Halloween Shops during October. So cutting to the chase, how’s his score? Well, have a listen for yourself.

Seems to have a certain affinity for french horns, but still pretty awesome. Any other stuff I feel like bringing before I talk about the important stuff in the movie? Well, I feel like it’d be wrong of me not to note that the actor who played Uncle Ben throughout this trilogy, Cliff Robertson, tragically passed away of natural causes in late 2011, the man was 88. I bring this up here because his cameo here was his last role. I think it was a nice note to go out on I’d say.

Rest well good sir, thanks for being such a great Uncle Ben, and being there to remind us every so often that with great power there must indeed come great responsibility. RIP.

PROS:

• While the previous movie allowed Tobey to really stretch his dramatic muscles, this time around the got to showcase his diversity as an actor. We see him playing the standard Peter and Spidey, you know, the adorkable nerd and the goodhearted but snarky hero. But we also get to see him playing shades of aggression and even outright hatefulness. Like the scene where he seemingly kills Flint Marko and outright attacks the man who only hours earlier would’ve called his best friend. What the movie chose to do with the black suit is arguably not the best choice at times, what with the jazz scene and the snapping his fingers and sort of strutting down the sidewalk, it did still manage to showcase Peter as a genuinely antagonistic character, managing to really tap into what we usually love about characters like Wolverine, or The Punisher, or Batman, but puts off when we see Spider-Man do. Four for you Tobey, four for you.
• I think this is James Franco’s best during the series, we get to see him play pretty much three characters here. 1) The vengeful young man who seeks to murder the man he believes kills his father, and is so hellbent on his destruction that he refuses to listen to reason. 2) The genuinely kind amnesiac, who is delighted to be relearning his life and rekindling his old friendships. 3) The superhero/sidekick who helps his best friend defeat the bad guys. I still don’t think he’s a particularly great actor, but I think the cafe scene and the second fight are career highlights in my opinion.
• Thomas Haden Church makes for a terrific Sandman, and I will hear no argument to the contrary. He’s terrific in the sympathetic scenes and he’s fantastic in the bad guy scenes. The scene where he visits his daughter and gets into an argument with his wife is a highlight of the film, and the scene where Marko has to reassemble himself may well be a highlight of cinema in general. That could’ve been it’s own short film.
• I think the script kind of lets Kirsten down here, but you really get the impression that this girl is really unhappy with her life. She tries to tell her boyfriend she feels like crap, but all does is use to talk about how awesome being a superhero is. A great scene of Peter and MJ, and probably the best in this movie, was the scene where MJ has to tell Peter that the critics obliterated her and she confesses that when she reads this harsh review, she feels like her father wrote it. Her father he repeatedly called worthless throughout her life. Kind of makes me want to take it easier on some actors I dislike.
• Topher Grace does a really good job with this material, he’s not exactly the Eddie Brock from the comics, but I don’t especially care. The script and the actor make Eddie out to be… Basically a nice guy version of Peter. You know what I’m talking about, the kind of douches who complain about how women he likes “friendzone” him. That sort of entitled prick who thinks just because he kisses ass thinks the universe owes him what he wants. I kinda dig that.
• James Cromwell pops up as Captain Stacy here. He doesn’t do anything but it’s James Cromwell and he gets to be a police captain, so that’s a pro.
• Bryce Dallas Howard, daughter of the famed Hollywood Director, Ron Howard, does some pretty great work here as Gwen Stacy. She’s obviously nowhere near the role we’re gonna get in the reboot, but she does a great job at playing this sort of fantasy girl who is a dimwitted bimbo or somehow a bitch, as is the temptation when introducing a romantic rival. In fact, whenever she’s in a scene with MJ she’s nothing but good to her. When she first meets her she’s like “OH MY GOD! You’re the girl my friend goes on and on about! It’s so good to meet you!” And when Peter uses her to humiliate MJ, she apologizes to her and leaves.
• The action is definitely in top form on this one. CGI is terrific throughout the movie and you can see the money on the screen. And being the most expensive film ever made at the time of its’ release (inflation unadjusted), it had better fucking be there!
• It’s always bugged me that the black Spidey suit and the Venom suit don’t actually have the webbing like the classic red and blue suit. So I actually really liked the change here, and it also really works when you realize that Venom is pretty much supposed to be a monstrous version of Spider-Man.
• JK Simmons still kills it as J. Jonah Jameson.

CONS:

• They handle it well here, but I can’t help but hate amnesia subplots. And what bugs me also is how selective the amnesia seems to be, Harry can’t remember if he has a girlfriend or not, but he remembers that Peter and MJ are his best friends. He can’t remember much about his father, but he seems to remember having once written a play for Mary-Jane in high school. That’s dumb.
• The strutting scene is on par with Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze in Batman & Robin. Hilarious, and awful. Very awful.
• I really hate that they chose to telegraph the fact that Harry was gonna die at the end. “I’d give my life for them.” Of all people Sam, you should know better than telegraph a character death. You of all people should know that a character’s death is most impactful when you DON’T see it coming!
• This freaking butler!
  
  
  Why is it that we had to have a one-off minor character have to be the one to tell Harry, “Your father killed himself.” Wouldn’t it have been better to have a quick exchange between Harry and Peter when he asks his help where Peter apologizes for fucking up his face and explains that he never killed his father. Then Harry tells him to leave. Harry sees the carnage his best friend is enduring and then decides, “I can’t let him do that alone.” Then we get an uneasy alliance with the two only working together to help MJ.
• Why does MJ never just outright tell Peter, “I’ve been let go because all the critics hated me.” Why doesn’t she cut him off when he’s going on and on and on about how amazing it is to be Spider-Man, especially coming from a picked on kid in high school. Why does she only get mad at him for not caring about something she hasn’t even bothered to tell him? I’m sure Peter would try to be sympathetic to her and even apologize for being so big headed about things.
• Speaking of which, when MJ tells Peter that when she sees words written in negative reviews, she feels like her father penned them, why is it that when the police radio goes off, Peter tries to make a joke gets his costume on and then apologizes. How come he doesn’t say, “We’ll talk later MJ, but I need to take care of this. I’m really sorry.”
• That freaking Gwen kiss. I get why Peter did it, but I don’t get why Peter tries to dance around it when MJ brings it up. I get that Peter was thinking about showmanship at that moment, like “Hey, give the people what they want to see!” But why does he try to play innocent about the whole thing, he was being thoughtless and kind of a dick, be a good boyfriend and say “MJ, that was only a stage kiss. That girl is only a friend, she isn’t the same as what we have.”
• I get why hitting Mary-Jane is what makes Peter snap out of it, but it still pisses me off. He assumed he killed a man, and while the fact that he goes to Harry for help implies he didn’t think he killed Harry, he still knows that he scarred him badly. Why isn’t it when Aunt May tells him that she doesn’t believe in vengeance, he doesn’t stop to think “What did I just do?”
• I can live with the silly logic of the Venom-Sandman team up, but what I don’t like is the fact that Peter still lets Flint get away. When he confesses that he killed Uncle Ben and Peter says he forgives him, he lets the guy just fly away. Dude! Even if you recognize what happened to your uncle was a horrible accident, he’s still a criminal who needs to be locked up! C’mon!
• I can live with the idea of making another man kill Uncle Ben, but I won’t deny it’s a bit of a stretch. Still, it’s nowhere near as awful as what they did in Batman ‘89.
  
  
  That is undeniably stupid.

All in all, I have my issues with this movie, and I can definitely say now that it’s not my favorite of the old series, but I’ll still defend it. Why? Because it’s a good fucking movie! It’s nowhere near as great as the last two movies, but that’s a pretty fucking tall order. I like The Amazing Spider-Man, but do I think it’s better than the first two movies, hell no! Am I looking forward to seeing it’s sequel? Absolutely! Do I think it’ll exceed it’s predecessor? Maybe, we’ll see. Do I think it’ll exceed Spider-Man 1 or 2? Not in a million years. But do I think I can sit down and watch this movie and enjoy it unironically? Totally!

I’m gonna give Spider-Man 3, a 7.6 out of 10.